Nightmare evaluations?

Post Reply New Topic

I have an evaluation with a neuropsychologist next month, and it's freaking me out thinking about it. I feel like I'm going to mess it up somehow, even though that's not a viable outcome.
I'm also scared of them "missing" my ASD, considering that I was born, raised and socialized as a girl.

I suppose I'm just overthinking it, because I doubt my nightmare version holds any accuracy to the real thing. Y'know... rapid fire questions, distracting elevator music in the background, maybe the office even smells really foul... perhaps the guy has a giant mole on his face that I can't stop looking at... LOL.

But I digress. I cry easily when I'm frustrated - once I'm upset, I can't calm down, and I start heaving or hiccuping. I mean, I took an online IQ test once and it had me in tears (only because numbers were involved).
Are these sort of evaluations typically "at your own pace"? And... hopefully no IQ tests...

I've lived through this recently. I don't know how this works in trans people - probably different for different individuals - but autism expresses differently with girls than boys. That's a whole different issue. But if you were expressing as a girl when you were a kid, there is a bigger likelyhood they missed the autism.

After my nightmare evaluation, I got some good advice for the next one. Actually, first I spent a year licking my wounds, then I got a better, more thorough evaluation.

This is the advice I got. Write down everything that concerns you about yourself and your development. Then take a look at the DSM V requirements for autism. Try to line up where you might be meeting the criteria. Write this all down. Mention specific examples and mention how it affects your ability to function negatively. (For example, don't just say you hate loud noises. Say you avoid family gatherings because you know that the children will use loud voices and that this gives you a panic feeling.) Hand your evaluater your lists right at the beginning.

I can't tell you how much this changed the conversation. At first, my evaluator didn't even look at the paper I wrote for him. (It was a little out of hand. I don't really suggest making it 8 pages like mine was. I was nervous and I felt the need to be thorough.) He was talking about ADHD and how simply being anxious isn't autism. Then he looked at my paper and slowly, he started changing the way he was talking to me. By the end of our interview, he was describing how I fit the criteria and telling me how helpful it was to have it written down.

Like a lot of adults on the spectrum, I'm a really good actor. I've been trained well, and a little brutally, to be normal. If I act weird around you, its an expression of trust. Since doctors make me nervous, there was no way I was going to let down my hair enough to be myself around him. I would have been polite no matter how awful I felt. This is what happened to me in my first evaluation. It was AWFUL. And they kind of mocked me for saying I might be autisic because I was so perfectly "behaved." They didn't see that this was a perverse act and that I needed to tell them they were hurting me, but I couldn't because...autism.

Whats wrong with IQ tests? You learn about potential strengths and weaknesses if you dont disregard other factors like if you have depression at the time of the test. No, I wont disclose my own results. I only can say there is a 40 pt difference between verbal and mathematical, while verbal is fairly average.

Yeah, I didn't know I was trans until a few years ago. My entire childhood, I was a "girl", though I proudly identified as a tomboy as soon as I learned that term.
As a child, I distinctly remember having sensory issues and stimming, and they were passed off as eccentricities at first. Then, everyone started to resent my behaviors, saying that I was a selfish brat, and worse things. I remember my family telling me to shut up constantly, and I was berated for obsessing over my interests. They molded me into a quiet, rigid kid, afraid to express myself in any way. Everything makes sense now, from the viewpoint of ASD. Maybe this will set my family straight on a lot of things.

That's solid advice. I had considered committing my thoughts to paper, to avoid verbal screwups and misunderstandings. Though, they only care about the criteria, so I might as well focus on those.

Ooh, that's a terrible first experience. Man, I woulda backhanded their damn lava lamp on my way out. (Every psych office has a lava lamp, right?)
In all seriousness, I appreciate the insight on this. I would not take it well if they treated me like they had you.

- And there's nothing *wrong* with IQ tests. Simply put, I'm staggeringly inept at maths (beyond adding, subtracting and multiplying, that is), and those "find the pattern in the numbers" questions make my brain bleed.

Mine sucked hard. The psychologist acted like I was some kind of monster and even seemed condescending about my "narrow and restrictive interests." If I physically couldn't do something, he got irritated.

I take no offense to that. I can definitely see what you mean. I've read up on personal accounts from both genders and I can say it's a 50/50 split on how I relate to each.

On another note, I had quite a few troubles at college yesterday, which shows that I do actually need accommodations.
Long story short, I got lost on the way - really, really lost. Then I stood in line for an hour, and completely blanked when asked what I was there for. (I had to sign a verification paper for funds to be transferred to the bookstore...) As if I had short-circuited, I couldn't process any thoughts at all.
So I panicked and left, and didn't get my books. My sister saw the entire thing. I feel really stupid for not being able to handle a simple exchange. I also left my student ID with the cashier!

Long story short, I f*cked everything up, and on the way home, my sister brought up autism and said she suspected for years I'd had it. Nice! I hid it for years, for nothing. I barely see her/know her, so the fact that she knew is kind of appalling.