Is(Was) Your Mother On The Autism Spectrum?

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Is(Was) Your Mother On The Autism Spectrum?
Yes, and she is(was) diagnosed as such. 1%  1%  [ 1 ]
Yes, but she is(was) undiagnosed. 20%  20%  [ 21 ]
She has some ASD traits but would not be diagnosed. 22%  22%  [ 23 ]
No she is(was) not. 48%  48%  [ 49 ]
Other.....pls explain 9%  9%  [ 9 ]
Total votes : 103

crystaltermination
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09 Jan 2017, 6:32 pm

It's funny how learning more about ASD and autism has caused me to secretly review the people closest to me. My mother has never had any kind of assessment regarding autism, she makes full eye-contact and is very open with her feelings. She has none of my social inhibitions and has her own (social) life with friends. A trait she does share with me however is that she can be hugely tactless in a conversation. In fact, some of the things she says when talking to others make me cringe. I'm not sure how much of that is just the feeling of being embarrassed by one's parent, and how much of it is just her nature. My grandmother is the same and it's often hard for other members of my family not to be insulted by her comments, even though I personally find them hilarious.
I think at this stage, though ASD may certainly be at least partially genetic, the other women of my family though seemingly NT must all unfortunately carry some sort of benign, 'unintentionally offend everyone within a 5 metre radius' gene. Ah, inheritance.


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MagicMeerkat
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10 Jan 2017, 4:59 pm

My biological mother was considered mentally retarded (it was a medical term back then) but probably would be diagnosed as autistic today.

My adoptive mother is a poster child for Asperger's in girls and women. She's never been diagnosed because she made it through life okay and was able to get married and raise four kids to adulthood. She's still married and I think my adoptive father has Asperger's too.


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PaulAspie
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10 Jan 2017, 8:11 pm

It's interesting how life choices can determine if someone is diagnosed. I'm the only person in my family diagnosed but once I started reading up after my diagnosis, I realized half my mom's side (including her) was aspie/HF-autistic. However, they all stuck to fields where Aperger's/HF-Autism is OK so long as you're good at what you do - engineering, research science, etc. - while I took up interest in a much more people-centered field and did really well in school in the field but then didn't do so well in aspects of the field need more social awareness and from that got diagnosed.


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randomeu
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10 Jan 2017, 8:51 pm

no, my mothers ADD and dyslexic though. i got the dyslexia from her at least. ASD runs in my dads side of the family, for example my dads uncle was suspected (my dad doesn't talk about his family that much). my dad has traits but doesn't have enough to be diagnosed (maybe 3 or 4 traits). however 2/3 of his kids do, so he must carry the components of whatever causes it. It basically goes: my younger sister who doesn't have it, Me (the older brother) who does have it, and my older(years older then me, like into the latter half of 20's) half brother (who ive never actually met) who also has it.

for some reason my dad feels responsible for it, he blames himself for giving it to me and my half-brother. he really shouldn't though, he didn't decide DNA


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AQ score: 45

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 174 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 30 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)


Officially diagnosed 30th june 2017


Jacoby
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10 Jan 2017, 8:57 pm

No, both my parents were very extroverted socially outgoing people growing up.



Dear_one
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10 Jan 2017, 9:12 pm

My vocation was based on improving efficiency. I'm sure I got that from my aspie mother. Even at a very young age, I'd be in trouble if I had to do something twice because I hadn't been thinking first. One of her innovations was to reduce diaper changes by rationing my fluids. For years, I was surprised that there were public washrooms, because I only went #1 once or possibly twice a day, and squeezed out a dry #2 about every fourth day. I still have to make myself drink more than feels normal to get much energy and enthusiasm.



RandomFox
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11 Jan 2017, 5:43 am

Autistic traits are only on my dad's side - my father and his father (I don't remember him speaking like, ever, total social recluse, used to play chess with himself very often and if anything interrupted him he'd have a massive outburst - he once kicked a dog because she just went into his room while he was doing something). My mother's neurotic and narcissistic, pretty much always emotionally high-voltage, TV soaps fan, obsessed with "oh, but what will neighbours/other people say?" and keeping up appearances.



Joe90
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11 Jan 2017, 10:12 am

No, my mum is not on the spectrum. Nor is my dad. Nor is my brother (I think he may have a personality disorder but definitely not Asperger's or autism).


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LittleLemon
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11 Jan 2017, 12:22 pm

I'm thinking she was, but I'll never know since she passed away 4 years ago. She was very cold, never showing any love (though she did love me). She was hyposensitive to pain. She could take things out of the oven without mitts and she would ask for no novacaine during dental visits. She never let others put in a word in a conversation. She didn't maintain friends. She was pretty rigid in her routines and was so darn controlling of my behavior. Her moods were sometimes explosive and scary. On the flip side, she would shut down and not be very responsive sometimes. She hated being touched. She never played with me. Never had back and forth conversations. The list just keeps going on. I will never know for sure, but it seems likely.



linuxgator
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17 Jan 2017, 1:27 pm

Both my mother and her father showed many common symptoms of Asperger's syndrome, though both of them passed away before I even figured out what it was and that I have it.



AquaLuna
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17 Jan 2017, 4:02 pm

No. Only after her major stroke when she was 49 and I was 19 did her cognitive functioning go downhill and then she seemed to possess some traits. Before her brain was affected as such, she was a neurotypical person.


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Kuraudo7777
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17 Jan 2017, 6:22 pm

No, but my dad, three uncles, and grandmother all are [even though they'd likely never really accept it].


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The Unleasher
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17 Jan 2017, 9:06 pm

I don't know anyone in my family who is. I'm thinking my deceased uncle, who died about twenty-five years before I could meet him was. I heard he wasn't as social and outgoing as his brothers, he was also more into academics than physical activity.


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neurotypicalET
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17 Jan 2017, 9:51 pm

I'm really not in a position to diagnose her...but if she were...she picked a very good special interest (herself)...in fact, the only time she talked about people besides herself was to criticize them...worst part is she actually goes out of her way just to be around them....I've tried to help her by advising her to avoid those people but I only came out being the bad guy....and forget about help with homework...only the first three questions was about your homework.... The rest of it was her monologuing about her life story...hmmnnn...I think I'm becoming her... 8O


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Dear_one
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17 Jan 2017, 10:05 pm

neurotypicalET wrote:
I'm really not in a position to diagnose her...but if she were...she picked a very good special interest (herself)...in fact, the only time she talked about people besides herself was to criticize them...worst part is she actually goes out of her way just to be around them....I've tried to help her by advising her to avoid those people but I only came out being the bad guy....and forget about help with homework...only the first three questions was about your homework.... The rest of it was her monologuing about her life story...hmmnnn...I think I'm becoming her... 8O


I had a neighbour lady who would only stop talking after you left. Her best feature was that she stayed at her own gate.

On the homework end, a roommate once had her father, a high school teacher, visiting. He was telling me about some ancient event one morning, and I had to go and give someone else a message before they left. I dashed into the kitchen and got it done, and then the teacher's wife heard him still droning on, with everyone else in the kitchen. "Who is he talking to Now?" she exclaimed.
"Myself, I'm afraid" I replied before dashing back.
He didn't fill in what I'd missed.

There have also been politicians who could not quit mid-speech, even if told that everyone had already voted in agreement.