Relaxing into AS Vs fighting against it

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Biscuitman
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10 Jan 2017, 4:15 pm

Do you work hard to fight against AS to try and fit into NTland by behaving 'normal' or do you happily just go full Aspie and not care about the thoughts of those around you?

I still feel like I need to try and fight against it to fit in everyday and wonder if a day will come where I will just relax back into my AS and not care about fitting in. The latter sounds great.



Windstorm
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10 Jan 2017, 4:37 pm

Its a mix between the two depending on the environment. In private I can let more of my AS out. In public I try to suppress odd behavior whenever I'm conscious of it due to my social anxiety.


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somanyspoons
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10 Jan 2017, 4:40 pm

I think this is a balance that every human being has to make, neurotypical or autistic or whatever. We all have to balance being ourselves with being a member of a community.



BTDT
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10 Jan 2017, 4:47 pm

A good example of compromise is ordering food. It can be hard because we often have trouble communicating.

It is much easier if you order something really popular, like a chocolate dipped ice cream cone at Dairy Queen. I once got a BBQ sandwich instead of an ice cream sandwich and sent it back. :roll:



Fraser_1990
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10 Jan 2017, 5:08 pm

I'm naturally drawn to fighting against my own symptoms (myself). I end up maxing myself out though and feel like I need to escape back into my own little bubble to recover.


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IstominFan
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10 Jan 2017, 6:11 pm

I have used my unusual interests to make social contacts. Watching tennis got me interested in taking tennis lessons. My interest in world cultures got me interested in folk dancing. I also rejoined Toastmasters last year after a sixteen-year hiatus. I am enjoying my life now.



CockneyRebel
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10 Jan 2017, 7:01 pm

I'm happy celebrating my autism through music and television. I also like to celebrate it through art with vibrant colours as well.


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Jacoby
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10 Jan 2017, 8:32 pm

I'm not allowed to relax into it, if I did that then I'd be living on the streets



Edna3362
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11 Jan 2017, 1:53 pm

Mostly, I'll relax to it.
At the same time, find ways to get away with it without fighting too much against it.

It really depends on what traits you end up with, what context you live in, how much you (initially) can get away with it, then along with your own desire to fit in or not.



... Though, it's NOT the 'behaviors' and 'mannerisms' I want to get rid off in my case. :x


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Wolfram87
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11 Jan 2017, 4:08 pm

I think it's a case of picking your battles. I have worked hard on things like self-control to be able to handle noisy and stressful environments, as well as for emotional regulation. I did this because the benefit outweighs the (not insignificant, I'll concede) cost. For things like my obsessive tendencies and random, intense interests, I don't know if I could fight that if I wanted to and I see no real benefit coming from doing so.


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SteveSnow
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11 Jan 2017, 4:55 pm

If my symptoms won't cause trouble at my workplace or when I'm in the general public I'm happy to act like myself, I do restrain myself on occasion but that's like any human being should. We all have habits/thoughts that we'd like to "relax into" but even if you feel more comfortable walking around naked it's not something that's generally well received. I see no difference with something like AS.


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Knofskia
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11 Jan 2017, 11:51 pm

Windstorm wrote:
Its a mix between the two depending on the environment. In private I can let more of my AS out. In public I try to suppress odd behavior whenever I'm conscious of it due to my social anxiety.


I am the exact opposite. In public:
• I can relax;
• stim if I need to;
• use my sensory tool kit;
• use augmentative or alternative communication;
• reveal that I have autism;
• reveal that I have sensory issues, communication issues, social issues;
• request or accept reasonable accommodations;
• shutdown without apology;
• meltdown with explanation, not apology (my meltdowns look like panic, not aggression).

"In private", I live with other people whom I am dependent on so they have some power over my life. Since they have neither acknowledged nor accepted my autism diagnosis, I am reluctant to relax or display any autism traits for the same reason as Jacoby:

Jacoby wrote:
I'm not allowed to relax into it, if I did that then I'd be living on the streets


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