Other People & Your Asperger

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Why do people think they know you if you are different from them? I can't do a lot anymore, but I hope things will be different sometime this year. I really wish my grandmother can understand about Asperger, she is now comparing her to me, saying I should do more cuz I'm younger than her. She don't care to listen to me, she don't want to learn. She don't know about Asperger & she tell me I should go out, go to stores & go out walking, cuz she is in her 80s & take walks. I can't do alot right now, I have panic attacks, but I'm getting better in life.

People naturally tend to assume that others are like them. It is easier for them than thinking about all the alternatives, and how they don't know the way your mind works. My (NT) family also do this, and cannot understand that I become overwhelmed or stressed by certain situations, or that I genuinely don't understand things which seem obvious to them. Even when I have tried to explain to them, they cannot accept it, because they see me as the same as themselves.

Yesterday my husband was telling me about how his sister once dropped out of college and then went back and now she's a professor. This was his way of encouraging me to go back to school for psychology, which I want to do, but I have intense anxiety just thinking about everything I need to do before I can even start. I don't even have all of my high school credits yet and I'll be 26 years old this year. I work from home M-F and one of our autistic children isn't school-aged yet so I have to manage his four weekly in-home therapies. My days are stressful and busy with hardly any time to myself, which as you can imagine feels like you're essentially suffocating. (I actually think I may be in a burnout state right now due to some intense depression, fatigue, poor memory, hypersensitivity and executive dysfunction.) Sometimes I feel like he doesn't quite understand my struggles. And to be frank, I don't think anyone that knows me understands or truly cares to because they don't take the time to try.

I don't understand, how come Aspies and autistics have to always understand NTs and look at everything from their point of view otherwise we get accused of lack of empathy, but it's quite obvious that NTs are exactly the same towards us (and not on purpose), and they still don't get accused of lacking empathy?

I am not bashing NTs and I hate sounding like I'm an ''Us vs Them'' type of Aspie, but I just have to word it that way to get my point across. It's so annoying. It's like the pot calling the kettle black.

I don't see this as an NT vs Aspergers issue. It's about dealing with a strong willed opinionated grandma who's in her 80's.

I don't mean to judge you or your life, which I know almost nothing about. She does make a point though, I regret the countless hours I spend on the computer (unless it's on websites like this and a few others). There are still quiet and non-panic inducing activities you can do. You can learn a new language, you don't need anyone else to do that. Knitting isn't just for old ladies, it's a quiet activity, you don't need to multitask either. I agree with Ezra, the situation is dealing with a stubborn grandmother. Try to explain things from your perspective.

I can't do alot right now, I get tired easily, I don't like socializing too much anymore. This does have to do with my Asperger. I'm trying to see if I can get better, but my grandmother & other people want me to be somebody I'm not. If it were their child, they would learn about what they have, my mom learned about my cerebral palsy, asperger & psoriasis. I wish these people would just really listen to me & believe me, why would I make this up?