Problems feeling happiness (for want of a better word)

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I'm not sure whether it is the right word for what I mean (suggestions welcome), but I seem to have difficulty or even to be unable to feel happiness. I mean it in the sense of a general feeling of well-being over a time-span of an hour of more. I am able to experience a range of other positive feelings (pleasure, joy, satisfaction, interest), but the positive feeling I get with them disappears as soon as the initial trigger does (I can enjoy the taste of food, but as soon as I have finished eating, all associated feeling is gone; the same thing with sex, which one of the most noticeable aspects). A range of things which other people enjoy (lying on the beach for instance) are simply not enjoyable for me. I feel that I compensate by occupying my mind with things as a sort of distraction. I am wondering whether this is related to Asperger's, with which I am diagnosed, and would be interested to know whether other people can relate to it. From observing other people with Asperger's I would expect that many would, but I have never actually asked, partly because it is something I am still exploring myself. I have started discussing it with a few non-Asperger people, but not yet reached any conclusions.

Do you live in the US? They are so obsessed about being "happy". It wouldn't make me happy if I felt happy like this all the time. Have no energy for that.

I like my life but happiness as an emotion is not very frequent. Calm and interest are the dominating positive feelings I identified. Lots of "negative" feelings have their place too. I like it that way, it suits me, gives the life its taste.

Maybe part of the problem is the double meaning of the word "happiness" - the state of enjoyable life is not the same as the emotion of being happy.

I think I get what you mean. If you were laughing at something and someone asked you immediately after how you were feeling you would not be able describe your emotion and would not "feel" happy?

I may be wrong but from what I've learned I believe this is an aspect of Alexithymia.

In order to feel myself alive i should think constantly because i've no feelings at all.

Happiness is not what it's cracked up to be. The few times I've been happy, there was always someone to burst my balloon and make me even more miserable.

I wonder if anyone who has a feeling for what I mean can suggest a better word than "happiness" (can I change the thread subject if so?) Happiness is somewhat overloaded as a term, and can easily be understood to mean all aspects of well-being, whereas I have one particular one in mind.

Back to the topic, another way in which this manifests itself is with sport. Most people say that they experience a lasting good feeling after sport (distinct, I think, from "runner's high"). I do not think I feel this. I can feel intellectual satisfaction at having achieved something, or a certain good feeling if I have loosened stiff joints, but if I am not careful with gauging my effort then muscle pain is what I am aware of most, so that I am more likely to feel bad than good. I have most success with making sport pleasant when I can do something else at the same time, like walking and talking, thinking or looking at the places I am walking through, or when the sport is also intellectually stimulating, like acrobatics.

magz



you brought up a good point. in the united states (where i live), some precious lil "people" are so obsessed with being "happy", that they act like they have a moral right to get anything that they think will make them happy.

a support group facilitator (Self Maintenace and Recovery Training) said that there are 5 major emotions. happiness is just one of them. what makes you think you should be happy all the time?



when i was 16, a school psychologist had the nerve to ask me "are you a happy child?". like a "yes/no" question. (rolls eyes). happy at some times, about some things, in some ways. big deal. but i just wanted her to stop bothering me, so i answered "yes". and she said "that's good". how judgmental. when she used that condescending tone, that did not make me a "happy child". not to mention how many 16 year olds hate getting called a "child"

but whatever.

anyways

Inability or diminished ability to experience pleasure (not simply "happiness") is called anhedonia. Major depressive disorder required either this or depressed mood for the diagnosis in DSM-IV.

It may not be your situation, but I think further research would be worthwhile.

Realistically, we have to be sad as much as we are happy in order to establish the dividing line. However, people excel at self deception, so there are some people who seem happy or sad much of the time. That is mostly a matter of which thoughts one dwells on, which can be changed deliberately, although habits are hard to alter. I was chagrined to learn that "depressive realism" is a real condition. "Mental Health" is supposed to include unreasonable optimism, because without it, we are too slow to grab the rare genuine opportunities.

People are generally about as happy as they decide to be, and that seldom changes. A year after winning the lottery or going to jail, people are almost always about as happy as they were before. There are millionaires far more worried about money than some homeless people.
Life here is based on matter, but how we experience it is still mostly illusion. People disagree about what's what all the time, because their thoughts are different approximations, sometimes with only one tenuous but stubborn thread establishing a critical connection. Errors in logic are rampant, with rationalizations and false analogies slipped in for convenience almost everywhere. So, even though abnormal happiness is an illusion, it is OK to adopt it as an attitude if you wish. Just don't forget to lock your doors where that's normal.