Page 1 of 3 [ 33 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

skahthic
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 May 2007
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 830
Location: Florida

01 Jun 2007, 4:44 am

I get this at work alot, but also with people outside of work. Here it is:
Someone will say something to me and sound all serious about it. They are not smiling. I take it as serious because they said it that way. Then I come to find out AFTER the fact that they were, in fact, joking with me ( they'll say to me " I'm only kidding, don't get all bent outta shape" or "you DO know I'm only joking, right?"). I get caught up in these things constantly and everyone knows it so it's kinda funny to them. But it isn't to me, and it can be kind of embarrassing. Does anyone else have this problem? it seems to happen alot, I can't tell if someone's joking with me or not.



Esperanza
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Mar 2007
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 834
Location: Paradise

01 Jun 2007, 5:16 am

Sometimes people say mean things and then tell you they were joking afterwards, to get out of the consequences of saying something unfair to you. That is, it's possible they weren't joking. They just lied and said they were joking.

Alternatively, they might be playing with you. They've discovered that they can fool you, and they're having fun with it.

Either way, they're not being fair to you. You have a right to be angry with them for their "jokes".



Sopho
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Apr 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 10,859

01 Jun 2007, 5:39 am

I usually don't understand jokes. And I find it difficult to work out when people are teasing me or being deliberately mean. I understand sarcasm though usually.



deep-techno
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jan 2006
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,080
Location: Exeter, UK

01 Jun 2007, 5:45 am

I just think that joking is an excuse to cover up something really horrible, and it is the quick way out of a debate of why somebody said it.


_________________
If the phrase "you are what you eat" is correct, technically we must all be cannibals.


Aldokim
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 29 May 2007
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 46
Location: Wirral

01 Jun 2007, 6:06 am

I'm different from you guys in that I love it when somebody jokes about like that completely deadpan. I'll suspect it's a joke but won't be sure, which interests me, and I laugh when I find out it is (if it's funny). I like the uncertainty! Didn't used to, mind.



giaam
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 4 Mar 2007
Age: 54
Gender: Male
Posts: 304
Location: Best place on earth, Canada

01 Jun 2007, 6:31 am

Sopho wrote:
I usually don't understand jokes. And I find it difficult to work out when people are teasing me or being deliberately mean. I understand sarcasm though usually.

Yep, thats me also :?


_________________
mostly harmless


Grim
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 29 Oct 2006
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 371
Location: Brighton, East Sussex

01 Jun 2007, 6:45 am

A close friend of mine jokes a lot, and has only just relised how litrally I take things. Now he understands why I do not talk to him sometimes., he tends to say things like I am evil, and since he has said it I think I have been really horriable and do not talk to him for a bit, making him get in a mood with me.



Litguy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Aug 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 649
Location: New Jersey

01 Jun 2007, 7:29 am

Esperanza wrote:
Sometimes people say mean things and then tell you they were joking afterwards, to get out of the consequences of saying something unfair to you. That is, it's possible they weren't joking. They just lied and said they were joking.
You're correct. That's exactly what it is when someone says that.



larsenjw92286
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Aug 2004
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,062
Location: Seattle, Washington

01 Jun 2007, 9:13 am

That's like what Bob Barker does on "The Price is Right" or Pat Sajak does on "Wheel of Fortune," isn't it?


_________________
Jason Larsen
[email protected]


kclark
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 10 May 2007
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 314
Location: NE Illinois

01 Jun 2007, 9:58 am

Aldokim wrote:
I'm different from you guys in that I love it when somebody jokes about like that completely deadpan. I'll suspect it's a joke but won't be sure, which interests me, and I laugh when I find out it is (if it's funny). I like the uncertainty! Didn't used to, mind.


I am similar, but I guess it depends on what they are "joking" about as to how I feel about it.
If they joke about me doing something or wanting something and then leave for a bit and come back to find me doing it or getting it, it is just annoying, often for both of us.
If it can be taken as a mean jab, even when they truthfully intended it to be a playful one, it can hurt if I don't get it right away.
However when it is some innocent thing that is just enough off base to make me wonder, it is interesting like a puzzle. I get to work out if they mean it or if it was a joke. I bet that they find it just as interesting as to why I have to solve such an obvious puzzle. :lol:



MrMacPhisto
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 May 2007
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,187
Location: Chatham

01 Jun 2007, 10:01 am

I have a confession to make there I do it myself to people talk serously but I am really joking. I personally don't have that problem



Chakapew
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 30 May 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 46

01 Jun 2007, 10:09 am

:D I am so glad that I found people just like me.



MrMacPhisto
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 May 2007
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,187
Location: Chatham

01 Jun 2007, 10:12 am

Theres someone at work who is AS I'm always doing that to them even though I'm AS myself



rossc
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 1 May 2007
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 464

01 Jun 2007, 10:26 am

NT's do not act like us. If we don't read them right it is often humiliating and embarrassing. WE have a right to feel this. The have a right to behave like NT's. No we don't fit in. So ought we try to fit in with the 99%'ers or should they fit in with us the 1%'ers?
Now NT mates are a different matter entirely (if they know your condition). My NT mates in as much as they make overtures not to give a s**t about my autism or treating me differently, happen to ask the right type of questions and do the right things to avoid upsetting me. (Read - though they are hard, tough Kalgoorlie Boys they are true mates and still take care of my feelings, just in a blokey way).
The fact is I am always on the look out for social traps and tricks set to trip me up and expose me to ridicule, confusion and embarrassment but that is life as I kjnow it defined by a society comprised of a populace at least 99% freater than people like me. I live with it.



richardbenson
Xfractor Card #351
Xfractor Card #351

User avatar

Joined: 30 Oct 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,553
Location: Leave only a footprint behind

01 Jun 2007, 11:52 am

oh man i tell you what i hate working and having people joking around. its like uhh leave me alone and let me work. i use to get that all the time when i was a janitor


_________________
Winds of clarity. a universal understanding come and go, I've seen though the Darkness to understand the bounty of Light


Graelwyn
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Dec 2006
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,601
Location: Hants, Uk

01 Jun 2007, 12:07 pm

I am awful at picking up on jokes unless it is made obvious.
My bf gets me time and time again because, well, on the net you cannot tell someone is joking without a LOL.
That is my excuse anyway, and if someone in real life doesn't laugh when they joke or say something very way out, how the hell are you meant to know anyway?
Surely NTs must have trouble too with this.