No attraction at all to men or women.

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Roo95
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17 Nov 2017, 4:17 pm

Hello. This isn't something I'm usually comfortable talking about but I wanted to know if anyone else has this strange issue that I have.
Im a 22 year old guy and I have no attraction whatsoever to men or women, and no interest In sex. I can't stand porn either.
Every guy I know from teenagers to guys as old as 60+, talk about sex all the time constantly. My friends don't shut up about sex, porn hub, boobs, vaginas and so on, they are always pointing out women on the Street and TV and saying " oh I'd definitely do her " and at work, " check out the boobs on the new receptionist ". I really don't get what all the hype is. My friends all have or have had girlfriends and are or have been sexually active and say they can't live without sex. They have pictures of butt naked porn stars and find it weird that when I look at them, I feel nothing and want to look away.
I had my first serious relationship with a girl last year, she took a liking to me because she knew I came from a wealthy family so she just wanted money. We were together only 3 months and I knew she wanted sex but I was never interested. We did sexual things I won't go into detail, but I never liked any of it. We did come close to sex but it got awkward being in my car so we stopped.
But when I was 17, I knew I didn't like women so spent some time thinking I was gay, I even dated a few guys, one of them was also an aspie, and I hated the sex, I realised I really wasn't into men either. My parents are always pushing me to get a girlfriend and saying I should be out paRTYING And having one night stands. I feel so odd being in a world of sex, boob, porn obsessed guys and I'm not into anything. Am I the only one?



TheAP
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17 Nov 2017, 4:27 pm

It sound like you might be asexual, which means you feel no sexual attraction to anyone. You're not the only one; in fact, there's a whole community of people like you. Check out this site: www.asexuality.org


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BeggingTurtle
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18 Nov 2017, 1:19 am

There is nothing wrong with being asexual. Just don't be like those people who constantly reminds everyone they're asexual.
I am bi as well. :D


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underwater
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18 Nov 2017, 1:24 am

You sound like a bog standard asexual, which there are a lot of on the spectrum, and your parents should stop bothering you about partying and that stuff.


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harry12345
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18 Nov 2017, 3:04 am

I've never bothered with any of that stuff either.

Had zero interest in starting any romantic relationship and never regretted it for a single moment.

I am 42.



Fireblossom
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18 Nov 2017, 4:16 am

Like others have said, it is very likely that you're asexual, but there is also a chance that you're demisexual, meaning you won't feel any sexual attraction to anyone unless you've formed a special bond to that person (I assume that "special bond" means love.)



Glflegolas
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18 Nov 2017, 6:08 pm

I join the asexual squad! Quoting the original poster:

"I feel so odd being in a world of sex, boob, porn obsessed guys and I'm not into anything."

Same here.


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Terminus
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18 Nov 2017, 6:43 pm

I think in and of itself, it doesn't really matter if you're asexual or not. However, it has been noted that reproductive strategy itself leads to scientific innovations, hence why males generally dominate sci-tech fields. It's a male way of showing reproductive fitness. Similarly, the move from hunter-gatherer to agricultural society has strong male reproductive strategy connotations.

Of course that's not at PC observation, but I don't really care about that.



AceofPens
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18 Nov 2017, 7:30 pm

I'm asexual, too. Being female, it's a bit easier to deal with, but I understand where you're coming from. Even apart from the mere fact that sex is unappealing, the lack of sexual interest brings with it other certain...deficits. Sex is at the heart of many social and cultural customs, from the clothes we wear to how we interact with the people around us. Lacking certain instincts related to sexual desire makes navigating the world just a little bit harder in light of that. I can't understand for the life of me why I should shave my legs, for example, which is blunt, but it goes to show how much sex has to do with the way we act, even when we think it's unrelated.



XFilesGeek
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18 Nov 2017, 7:43 pm

I'm asexual.

Welcome to the club.


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CockneyRebel
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18 Nov 2017, 9:00 pm

I'm also asexual. The only thing I'm attracted to is Om Nom. I joke around with my friends that I'm peasexual.


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18 Nov 2017, 9:26 pm

When I was a teen, I was curious about sex, but never had any sexual urges. I never looked at someone & wanted to have sex with them, or even kiss them. After I experienced sex, & experimented with different kinds, I decided I must be asexual, because none of it was as good as everyone else was saying. I used to believe it was either my fault, I was doing something wrong, I was with the wrong people, but no -- just plain am not interested & have moved on from it. It might be that I/we don't produce enough oxytocin to feel that reward others feel when bonding with another person. I've never felt bonded emotionally to anyone -- not even my relatives. I do care about people in general, but it is difficult to explain.

I was told once that I had to have at least 1 friend. I took that to be a rule, & I found 1 person every school year to be friends with. If that person decided they didn't want to be friends with me, I chose someone else & didn't even care the other person decided to stop being friends with me. Although, was always curious why people stopped wanting to be my friend, & wished they would explain their reasons, but didn't upset me emotionally.

So, either I'm broken or just am different in ways the majority of people & media never talk about or know exists.



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19 Nov 2017, 3:41 am

My mother is asexual. She has no interest whatsoever in sexual relations, and the only reason I was even born is that she's not an aromantic asexual and was comfortable enough with my dad in their relationship.

I am not asexual myself, but I do experience some of the annoyance you describe at being surrounded by blokes who will point at women and say they're fit or talk about their sexual 'conquests'. But this typically only occurs at work, and co-workers who know me a bit better know that I don't appreciate it.


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Roo95
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19 Nov 2017, 3:37 pm

AceofPens wrote:
I'm asexual, too. Being female, it's a bit easier to deal with, but I understand where you're coming from. Even apart from the mere fact that sex is unappealing, the lack of sexual interest brings with it other certain...deficits. Sex is at the heart of many social and cultural customs, from the clothes we wear to how we interact with the people around us. Lacking certain instincts related to sexual desire makes navigating the world just a little bit harder in light of that. I can't understand for the life of me why I should shave my legs, for example, which is blunt, but it goes to show how much sex has to do with the way we act, even when we think it's unrelated.


You do sound like me. It has caused issues in the past. I was in a nightclub once, not the usual place for an aspie I know but I was too drunk to care and had friends with me and a pretty woman started dancing sexually right in front of me, touching me, trying to get with me I think and my friends were cheering me on saying how hot it was and how turned on they would be if they were in my position and I sort of ignored her as it really didn't turn me on at all, It had no affect on me. She got bored and walked off and wouldn't talk to me. Got some odd looks of my friends too. I see things every day my friends always comment on like how hot it is that that woman's boobs are showing out her bra and how her ass moves and all I see is a woman. I don't notice these things



Touretter
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19 Nov 2017, 5:53 pm

Roo95 wrote:
My parents are always pushing me to get a girlfriend and saying I should be out partrying , and having one night stands. I feel so odd being in a world of sex, boob, porn obsessed guys and I'm not into anything. Am I the only one?
I find it to be rather strange that your parents are actually pressuring you to have sex , especially before marriage . I would have thought that most parents would be pleased that you are showing restraint , and discernment . And no you are certainly not the only one to have such feelings . I have known that this is how I am from the age of 12 at the oldest . I just didn't know what to call it yet . And as this guy says , "It's a OK to identify with A " .