AHHH! The madness of it all!

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3am and after days and days of preparation, I am just finally printing my 8 (yes I said 8 ) pages worth of examples to describe my world and the reasons I believe I have Asperger's for my assessment tomorrow!! !!

Deep breaths! Deep Breaths! Deep Breaths!

And yet another 8 pages of skills, strengths and weakness, accommodations and modifications and safety plan for my AS child's IEP and 8am meeting with the school!

DO I have a full day ahead of me tomorrow or what???????????????! !!

*sigh*

Thanks for allowing the vent. Wish me luck!

I hope you do better than I did. Nobody ever listened to me, but 8 pages is gonna be harder to ignore.

BRUTAL! Have I mentioned lately how much I hate people?

Find yourself a new Dr. and I will give you a lesson in being verbose (perhaps the only thing you missed out on?)

8 pages of extreme verbosity! That ought to do the trick, eh?

Well the problem was, the doctor was a total idiot. I mean, the signs were everywhere, she was even listing all the signs while she was talking about why I didnt have it, and apperently the reason was because I didnt fit like 3 out of the 100 symptoms of AS, which she was still wrong about because I had them too. But I couldnt speak up for myself, I was too uncomfortable, there were too many people around me. Isnt that a symptom as well, when your around a group of people you dont really know and they are all talking about you and you have your head down staring at the floor the whole time? I swear, what kinda f*****g doctor is that? How can somebody be so f*****g blind?

Something funny; I had an expert tell me that people with autism [rather than AS] "rock" when they're stressed; 5 minutes before I'm in their waiting room rocking like I'm rapping or something (I'm not nodding my head and body to the music I listen to which drowns out the tortuous turmoil of too many “terrible” people).

Not to mention that people with AS can rock just as much when stressed. *Daniel shakes his head*

So how did it go??

Are you DX'd now???

Where to begin???! !! *sigh*

I sat with the man for nearly 2 hours, he read my eight pages worth and proceeded to ask me nine million family history questions. He asked me bits and pieces about my childhood, about my special interests, about my work, about my family and then gave me a brief recap of what he had heard, to which all sounded fairly accurate. At the end, he said that while he thought that there were some Asperger's traits, he felt they were in a mild form which he didn't believe would warrant a dx. Instead, he thought it would be best if I sought psycho-therapy to deal with my past. He said that because I could make eye contact, but did not always was a conflict to a dx. He said that the fact that my interests were fleeting and would diminish just as quickly and intensely as they arrived and were not computers, math, etc that it contradicted the usual AS traits. He said that because I am an affectionate loving caring mom, that it was "selective" in how I dealt with the rest of the world. He said because I made a conscious decision to educate myself in social work, that I could not possibly be that bad socially, despite the information I fed him about my difficulties at work.

Nevermind all the rest. Ignored my childhood details that read stuff like:

"“shy, quiet, sensitive, serious, anti-social,” little girl. I preferred adult company and did not make any huge efforts to “fit in” with my peers. I was known to cry a lot at school and made frequent calls home. I enjoyed reading on my recess breaks, I preferred to work alone than in groups and whenever possible, I dodged presentations, gym class, drama and speaking aloud in front of the class., as this caused great anxiety for me. I focused nearly all of my attention on my interests and areas that I excelled in, such as spelling (because I had such an excellent memory) and art of any form. I was thought to be observant and according to others I always appeared to be “deep in thought”. I hated my hair being brushed. I would refuse to allow my mother to bake certain foods, as they made me feel ill and I enjoyed soft, cuddly textures."

Ignored the fact that:

I avoid eye contact (as he said I made eye contact with him several times...)

Special interests (that are clearly not "characteristic enough"~for a male ASD maybe!! !)

That I have a high degree of morality

That I have meltdowns (but because they are NOT related to being an ANGRY person, and more to overstimulation, frustration, etc they did not qualify)

The fact that I punched walls, have banged my head, seared my skin and am a compulsive picker

The fact that I have few friends and each of them have a social dysfunction of some sort

The fact that I have a need for bizarre and random social disconnections and will isolate myself from everyone I know for months and sometimes years

The fact that I boycott answering the telephone, refuse to answer the door to unwanted visitors and hold people from entering if I get caught off guard

The fact that I boycott any or all celebrations, social outtings or events in my honour refusing baby showers, special birthday celebrations and work lunches ,etc

The fact that I hate to be the center of attention

The fact that I have some sensory and motor control issues, ie: Tactile processing, oral processing, motor planning, auditory processing and often become overstimulated, sombie-like and shut down or overheated, annoyed and meltdown as a result.

The fact that I am often accused of not caring what others think or feel. People think I am insensitive, bold, rude, not very politically correct, etc

That I struggle with social appropriateness such as censorship and boundaries.I tell everyone, everything and have little regard for how people will recieve what I am saying

That I have difficulty reading peoples emotions, body language, etc

That I perseverate

That my daughter, my brother and mother all have similar traits and at least one of them has been formally dx'd with AS.

*sigh*

Not even so much as the Asperger's screening Tests. Just family, history etc!

I gave hime a list of examples of different circumstances/situations where all of these would be applicable and still....nothing. Actually, something, his exact words were "you are screwed up"

I am so bloody frustrated and if I got started on the insane school staff I would be here all day!! !!

I need an advil. Thoughts anyone?

Last edited by makelifehappen on 22 Oct 2007, 6:30 pm, edited 2 times in total.

"you are screwed up"
Brilliant, did he learn that in med school? Or did his degree come out of a Cracker Jack box?

Get a second opinion.

now that i have had a second to process....I AM SO BLOODY ANNOYED!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

Now what? Now where? *sigh*

Anyone in Toronto that wants to tell me who assessed them? Obvious this jackass is clueless.

And, is it normal for them to go through the entire session without even using the assessment questionairres?

Just out of curiosity, what questions did he asked about your past and family? And was he specialized at diagnosing ASD? I might seek a professional in a few months to get a DX, thats why I'm asking...

Seems like most so-called professionals just read random stuff about AS (probably the same articles or criterions most of us read, but in a lesser quantity) and make up some sort of archetype of what an asperger should be. How many people on this forum are actually involved in math 24/7? I've always been good at math, even some time got interested in it outside of school, but I'm far from being a math-freak...

Ugh...yeah, I'm going in next month for a DX, and it's stories like this that scare me. Can't believe he's the "professional".

I mean it's one thing if they can figure out something that fits me better than AS, but if they just randomly dismiss it for stupid reasons like they did for you...

Grab the phone book and call every psychologist in the book and ask if they have specific training to diagnose AS in adults. Make a list of positives and pick the one you connected with the best. My dx took two one-hour sessions with a clinical psychologist. I took copies of my report cards, school awards and WAIS-R score to the second session. She said I have classic symptoms. I make eye contact, no monotone (any more) and have long-time friends. Also not everyone with AS is a computer nerd. Some are social workers. Keep trying.

Congratulations on NOT having AS, according the PhD with years of experience and education. Now, you know that your problem is purely psychological in nature. It might not even be a serious problem at all, just a little neurotic hypochondria. And, unlike someone with AS, you can understand the social world with the at the level of comprehension of a normal brain. You may not like it, and it may be difficult for you emotionally--but at least you are not shut off from it by a physical difference in your brain that even medicines will not cure.

I don't see why you have to hate the psychologist. If PhD and years of experience and education are not convincing enough, ask yourself this question: How many autistic people do you know? (Other than the one you see in the mirror.) Now, consider that this psychologist may have seen hundreds of autistic individuals over her lifetime. Who would be the better judge? Obviously, the person who has seen autism in its many forms, over and over again.

Are you being sarcastic hyperbolic? I can't tell

No. I seem to have the problem of people thinking I am sarcastic when I am not. Maybe my default mode of thinking is sarcasm, and my attempts to hide it fall short.