What do you regret the most about your life with Asperger's?

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Technically I regret nothing. What I mean by this is that I understand why and how I behaved the way I did in the past - realizing that under the circumstances and chain of events (which were beyond my control) it couldn't have been expected that I would react differently than how I did.

I'm not saying that one is never responsible for their actions, I mean that I recognize my faults as a human being and that making mistakes and learning is a process which benefits us as individuals. There is no sense in wanting to take back a mistake in that context, it's about growth.

"To err is human" - To deny our mistakes and refuse to change is foolishness.

With that said, one of my problems when I was younger was to take things too seriously, get angry, and internalize that anger which then manifested negatively in my personality.

I used to be the most unemotional, cynical, serious guy on the planet. It took a lot of thinking for me to overcome that. I look back at those who insulted me in the past only to realize that 99% of them were in fact joking with me - a sign of affection. (and that the 1% who were serious actually needed compassion, not hatred)

Now don't get me wrong, some of my previous friends had other personality traits that were less than admirable (stealing, lying, etc.) but the point is that I misunderstood their personalities because they seemed so insulting to me, I was under the impression that they were truly bigoted and egotistical - which I believe is not the case now. Some of the people they were associated with were however, horrible people. One guy who was involved in drug dealing would lie and steal from his own friends, and I feel sad now knowing that he may still be suffering from this condition. He may even be in prison.

So on that level, I don't exactly regret being angry - but I understand now that they never really intended any harm. I'm not going to speak of past events much more at the moment, because there were specific scenarios (completely unrelated to this issue) which ultimately drove us apart - I don't feel that it could've been prevented. We were young, involved in illegal activities, and an unlucky situation split us apart a year before we reached adult age.

I think about some of these friends now, many of whom I had known since childhood. I just can't describe how sad I feel sometimes, knowing what I do now. It will probably never be the same again. I just wish I could apologize for blocking their calls. As the calls and visits became less frequent, it must've become apparent that I disliked them. I visited a few of the old friends several summers ago, but it just didn't feel right, it felt uncomfortable to a degree, despite the jokes and conversation. Sometimes we just have to move on.

I also regret not being understood by most people. I also regret not being understanding

of some people.

I regret not getting the diagnosis early on and instead went through my childhood with terrible self-esteem and confusion issues that manifested themselves in ugly ways later on.
Oh wait, that wasn't my fault; nevermind.

Basically everything.

Not being able to make or even keep a serious relationship with people, tho I have friends, never anything more beyond that and of course screwing my life up during and after collage, tho I made many mistakes alot of that came down to social issues.

I regret not keeping the friends I once had. It's funny how you don't know what you have until it's gone.
I regret getting into drugs and not getting out soon enough.

Count me in with the "not knowing".

If I had understood that there was a fundamental difference in communications, I might have been able to compensate or find a work-around. I might have been able to avoid some of the pain I have inflicted along the way. I might not look back and see a wake of destruction.

Passing years have closed off some relatively easy options, and what I'm left with is rather more difficult and dangerous. Then again, I might not have asked the questions I did if life had been easier.

Maybe it all works out.

I regret not being strong enough to face the bullies in school and letting them put me though so much crap.

I don't regret any of it. I learnt of AS at 29 so for me it was more of a morale boost to know WHY.


With the WHY I can now try to figure out the HOW to fight it. Knowing that i was able to deal with it when much younger without knowing gives me a lot of strength to face it forward.

Im an obsessive problem solver so this.. to me... is the grandest of things to solve



... though I do wish I could interact better with others. Being lonely sucks. Working on this one

Not connecting to people is my big one. I have friends but they are superficial "let's just hang out and BBQ/movie/dinner" but no more than that.