Emotional vs unemotionnal autism?
I know they say every autistic person is different. From what I observed they're either very emotional, or show almost no emotions. Of course I only have a sample size of about 20 people including kids. Just wondering if that might be true. Anyone here feels perfectly balanced? I'd love to be proven wrong.
I have emotions, but I'm never too sure about how I feel, so I rely on logic and reason. To people I look like I have no emotions. Never angry or upset, or even excited. I fear people with tempers. I just don't know how to handle them. It seems I can not do or say anything right. I've taken communication classes. I know some techniques. But I can't empathize with them. I absolutely don't understand them. And knowing enough about communications make it worse because now I can tell how they're violating every rule of effective communication.
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I'm not 'balanced' -- not yet or maybe never would be. I wouldn't know, but I did took the path of attaining this.
I'm but 'either', 'both', even 'neither'. They're not all the same.
More often, it clashes; emotional disliking unemotional, unemotional denying emotional. Then there's emotional disliking itself, unemotional denying itself.
Then the combinations of any of those.
I don't always rely on logic, I don't always rely on emotions either. There are times I couldn't rely on both at all.
But overall, I'm definitely at the emotional side of the spectrum.
I've been this moody child as long as I could remember; barely noticed that I'm an emotional kind of child then. Just grew more aware of this as I got older.
A part of me doesn't entirely accept this as long as I could remember as well, and would rather have my logic reign. In a way, it fought my (innately) emotional nature before I even understood what it meant.
In terms of interacting others? It's a mixed bag, with an even more unpredictable results. Sometimes I cared too little, sometimes I cared too much.
But all the same, I'm likely clueless on what to do with other people no matter how well read or blind I'm. Emotional side doesn't make it better as much as logical side doesn't make it worse.
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Rembers me to me. NTs act like aliens. I realized once that I can't feel empathy because I'm unable to generate and feel the same emotions that NTs do especially towards other people. Most NTs act pure emotional and feel nonstopping different kind of emotions which shows in their body language. But I recognized myself being able to act much less emotional restricted because of the feelings and thinking of other people if I want. It's a thing that most NTs don't even get.
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I'm not that emotional generally but I was very emotional when I was going through a bad depression. I was also more emotional at home with my parents. They stressed me out alot & put alot of pressure on me. I've had LOTS of meltdowns & tantrums with them as a kid & teen.
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It's the other way around for me. Last time I cried was in 2003 when my father had died. Long before my diagnose. I didn't even notice it. I just felt that my face was suddenly wet. Like the sadness was already there, but my mind hadn't processed it yet. I have lots of emotions, but I think I don't know how to interpret them.
Rembers me to me. NTs act like aliens. I realized once that I can't feel empathy because I'm unable to generate and feel the same emotions that NTs do especially towards other people. Most NTs act pure emotional and feel nonstopping different kind of emotions which shows in their body language. But I recognized myself being able to act much less emotional restricted because of the feelings and thinking of other people if I want. It's a thing that most NTs don't even get.
^This!
Three months ago I had my first group therapy session. I really didn't like the idea of that. But it turned out to be quite enjoyable and eye opening! They did a great job at matching. We were 8 guys in a similar predicament. All recently diagnose, all with jobs, all running into the same problems at work. Never before was it easier for me to feel empathy.
We definitely can feel empathy. There's just not enough people similar to ourselves. NT's have that similarity as an advantage.
The thing with comparing NT's to aspies. Is often the aspie doing so isn't around those on the spectrum much. I've been around more autistics than NT's by far most of my life. And they range from extremely emotional to extremely unemotional.
A lot of what I read along the lines of NTs this and NTs that, also applies to those on the spectrum. It's often more of a human nature thing rather than an NT vs AS thing. It's often universal to both.
And usually things like lack of empathy and flat effect occur far more in those with significant autism. Usually when stuff like that is mentioned it's people like me with moderate/severe autism they have in mind, not high functioning aspies.
I think in my case there's a certain level of hiding that leads most people (and myself) to think that I'm unemotional. I often read that Aspies have inappropriate emotions/reactions at certain times, which could maybe lead to hiding those emotions from others to avoid social embarrassment. For example, yesterday I had to attend a funeral for my aunt. I found it impossible to display the 'proper' emotion during visitation and the funeral itself. However, after the graveside service was complete and everyone was rather happily visiting with each other near my grandmother's grave, I started sobbing uncontrollably for a few minutes, and I honestly have no idea why. I guess it just highlights my lack of emotional insight. My mother called yesterday evening to make sure I was OK 'because it's unusual to see me get emotional' like that. I guess I get emotional just like everyone else, but those emotions may or may not be shown in ways that most people understand, or even ways that I understand.
I'm constantly emotionally-orientated. That is why I get frustrated with some of the members here when they use logic to answer my problems instead of seeing the emotional side I'm feeling. Like when people think you should control your fears and anxieties or take meds to stop these feelings. That's basically like saying stop having Asperger's or stop having ADHD. Usually anxiety goes hand-in-hand with Asperger's and ADHD, and the world can sometimes feel daunting, and running into certain situations can be more challenging. In my case anxiety makes things challenging, and I know people are only trying to help by throwing concise logic at me, it just makes the situation worse. That is because emotions are illogical. When I first heard my grandmother died, I fell to the floor and cried. A logical person might look at me and say "cry all you want, it won't bring your grandmother back." Ok that is very true, but I just can't think that way.
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