Why do condescending people deny being condescending?

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I thought (allistic) people were condescending because they practised applied racism which is what aspiphobia/neurobigotry really is. When you are treated like a second class citizen for not being allistic and condescension is a hidden or subtle form of neurobigotry that by definition is easily denied by allistic people.

That's what I think, too.

Also, because they can!

I know this is an old thread so I am going to respond in it anyway for in case others are wondering the same thing as the OP.

People might not even know they are being condescending. I often see this word and I have no idea how that person was being condescending so it looks to me that word is thrown around for no reason and even normal people get accused of it. But it does make me fear getting this also in social situations which increases my shyness and social anxiety because I have no idea what the other person might think of me. Sometimes I wish I didn't care. Then my life would be a lot easier.

I think it can go either way, but in both cases the underlying arrogance that motivates it will not allow the person to admit they are doing anything rude or offensive.

Being condescending means subconsciously or not, they view themselves as being above you, so they are not going to actually level with you and talk to you as an equal.

If they view you as an inferior and treat you as such, and can go on with their lives happily that way because they suffer no ill consequence, what basis do you have to deny they are actually your betters?