Asperger's/ADD and daytime wetting?

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Detren,

I'm glad you're finding something that seems to be helping out.

The only thing I can think of in relation to my issues is this...

When I do it 'right', I feel the urge and the thought pops up in my mind that I need to pee/poo and I should go to the bathroom now.
If I go now, then I won't be in such a rush later if I put it off.
It's nice when I can break away from my current train of thought and do this.
I'm teaching myself to remember the 'idea' that it is better to stop what I am doing and go take care of business rather than do it in, "Just a minute!".

In your case, I wonder if it would help asking him to describe what he thinks are the signals his body gives him when he has to go pee.
Have him describe it in as much detail as he can. Perhaps by having his mind go through this thinking exercise enough times, something in his mind will be triggered into action the next time he actually feels these signals he has described.

One other thing I thought of is training him to be able to break away from things like his games when there is something to do.
It can be needing to go to the bathroom or getting up to let the dog in/out, or stopping to get up and have a snack or drink.
My idea is that you would start out by telling him before he starts playing a game that at a certain time he will need to get up and do some particular thing.
When that time comes up, you interrupt his game, remind him of the task, then make sure he stops what he is doing and goes to complete the task.

Maybe even make this a game?

I was thinking that this might help him learn break that hyperfocus of his so he would even head to the bathroom when those signals came up.

Just brain-storming here... some of this has helped me with my ADD/HD, although I'm still trying to perfect it!

wsmac: Sounds good, I hadn't thought to ask him to describe it. Also, when he goes, we look at the clock and we figure out what time it will be in 2.5 to 3 hours, and I really do think that helps him. He had a watch, and he loved it, but it got some mud on it one day and he no longer wanted it. (sigh)

I don't know if he has problems remebering steps in some things, or if he is just being a basic child. You come home from school, you go potty, you come BACK to the door, take off your shoes, put them on the rug, and put your coat on your hook. Half the time his shoes are missing the next day and we have to hunt for them, and half the time his coat is in the middle of the living room floor. I remind him that he forgot, when I notice, but he is doing something, so I tell him "as soon as if gets to a breaking point." for some reason, he always has to do just ONE more thing before he can do anything new. (even if it is just straightening a pencil.) That might be the OCD tendencies? (they haven't diagnosed him with OCD and think that perhaps it is just some of his Asperger's traits. We go back after a while to remeet with the neurologist and see what her opinion is on things again.)

Haha, he would never believe me that it was a "game" games are supposed to be fun

That sounds like a good idea.. the time thing.
Too bad about the watch though


That right there would mess me up.
We take our shoes off at the front door... this is from living in Alaska - winter time lessons
I'd come home... go potty... probably find a few things to distract me between the potty and going back to the door... if I remembered I needed to go to the door, I might wind up standing there racking my brain as to why I needed to be there... then disrobe and de-shoe.

What does he do with his coat when he's in the potty?
Could you have a hook in the bathroom or just outside the bathroom door for him to put his coat?
At least it would be in one place.
Sometimes when I need to remember to take something with me from the house, I will hang it on the doorknob of the front door.
This way I am sure to see it and remember to take it with me.
Maybe he can start hanging his coat on the doorknob.
How about a place-mat, shoe tray(I bought a couple of plastic ones to put by the front and back doors so the dirty/muddy shoes stay in the tray and not on the floor), or rug with outlines of his shoes?
The outlines might be a good visual reminder where to put the shoes.




Hmm, I never thought about it in those terms... "...do just ONE more thing before he can do anything new."
I see it as a transition problem myself, most of the time that is, and partly an avoidance technique sometimes too.
Sometimes the next event is something I may dread... heading to an area of the house to 'straighten things up', for example, and I tend to find all manner of other things to do on the way.. avoiding the next task.
Partly it's because I may be feeling overwhelmed by the looming task, or just can't figure out how I'm going to get started on it.

Like I said though, sometimes it's just that I am being distracted by other things.
Sometimes I wish I could 'not pay attention' or have that 'attention deficit' I'm told I have.
My biggest problem is that as I walk through a room, store, school, my mind is constantly scanning my environment picking up on some pretty small things. Some of these things are relevant to me as they are, others serve as reminders to something else I've been trying to remember.

I realize I have strong emotions and possibly a high sensitivity to failure as I define it for myself.
If I see something that reminds me about a project or task I needed to do, but have forgotten... even if it isn't important at the moment I am remembering it... the guilt over not having done it when I shouldhave/couldhave overrides every other thought in my head and I have to stop right then and work on the forgotten task... or at least agonize over not having done it and start making plans for doing it 'later'.

I know I'm going way off base here... but basically it sounds to me like your son may be having the same sorts of issues as I do.
I'm not diagnosing him... it's just that what you describe sounds all too familiar to me

I spent my entire life 'beating myself up' because I took to heart what everyone else always told me... "You're not trying hard enough to ______!"
or
"It's easy to ________, all you need to do is _________!"
or
"Well, you sure seem to be able to do the things YOU like to do... but not what you're supposed to be doing!"

and others of a similar vein.

I'm not accusing you of doing this with your son, nor am I saying he has no control over anything he does... just that if he's like you describe... it's possible that he's getting these same reactions from other people (or will as he gets older and teachers, etc, expect more from him), and if he does he may internalize them also.

I wish I had been told of my ADD/HD back when I was a child.
If I had an explanation that fit my comprehension level, I would have had better self-esteem I think.
I'm now having to undo all that damage of over 40 years... but no matter what, I will always keep trying.

I do hope your son finds ways in which he can fit into the world no matter if he has anything like ADD or AS, or not.
It's a matter of understanding that expectations in our societies are built around a very particular model of human being... not several more realistic models that the human race is really comprised of.
Then, understanding ones self and learning to meld the two in a way that brings the least amount of suffering and conflict as possible.

... and this thread is about daytime wetting? sorry for the ramble

I did hear a lot of that when I was younger, too. Am being careful not to say things like that to my children.

I am actually getting ready to Make a time line/list of what to do during the day and at what times. It is frustrating for both of us in the mornings to get ready for school. We won't be able to put the "potty breaks" on there, because if he decides that he does indeed have to go once when he isn't scheduled I don't want to press him to go again in 20 minutes or anything, it would just throw the whole thing off track.

I know that half the time when he has to do his "one more thing" that it isn't avoidance, he is practically DANCING with the need to GO. Feet going like crazy, standard "pee pee dance" theme, and then he will book it to the bath room.

[edit]My main concern is that if I do make this list, he will come to depend too highly on it, and that it will become one of his obsessions. He already enjoys making itineraries for events like birthdays, and he knows that we will not always follow them, but he just loves making them. He is getting better at it now though, we are no longer supposed to eat the icecream and cake as soon as the guests walk in. haha[/edit]

[edit2]And we go BACK to the door because he is normally doing the pee pee dance when he walks in from the bus, we have a rug that we put all our shoes on, and he has a hook on the wall that is in the shape of his first initial[/edit2]

I've had wetting problems most of my life. I'm diagnosed with an overactive bladder and urge incontinence. The meds don't work for me. So I'm in diapers 24/7.

Well I have been needing to wear pull ups since I have daytime wetting accidents since late last year when I had a back injury which also injured a nerve in my back around where the bladder nerves are according to urologist. I have been diagnosed overactive bladder and urge incontinence by G.P. No one know exactly whats causing it.

I have to admit I sometime dont' bother to try to make it to the toilet as I belive its still going to happen and the injury is perminent so why bother trying.

I haven't told family (i live alone) or any of my friends yet.

I still have emotional and axiety issues buying the pull ups tho as well as issues around accepting I might need to wear them for the rest of my life which my private psychologist is trying to help me with as I tend to get depressed about it. Hopefully when/if they find out whats causing it hopefully fix it or help me understand the reason.

i dont completely soil my trousers but when im focused on something i can drip sometimes

I empathise as someone who is lifelong incontinent. I would say a trip to the GP and then urologist is essential. When I was that age I was kept in nappies. I still wear these now [from choice because I do not want to wear attachments]. In my case, nothing was done back then and it is important that the real issue can be identified. there are of course some neurological links with bed-wetting and incontinence and autism but urology and it's own disorders is quite a seperate field. I wish you every success.

I'm 35 and I have to wear some sort of product 24/7. From just a liner or pad to full on tape up brief.

My aspergers definetly effects my incontinence. If I am building to a melt down its the first thing to go... I completely lose what little control I do have. Then melt down and I'll get almost back to a dry life with the occasional minor drip and then wham.. Back into the regression cycles. So it's a part of my aspergers issues for sure

I also bed wet nightly until age 12. I've never made it more than 5 months without a wet bed in my life and never had more than 3 months dry without any accidents in my life

It's most definetly sensory for me. As I stress out I tense up and it's part of your fight or flight response and if I begin in to a meltdown cycle. I don't have any bladder control at all..

I haven't wet myself (day or night) since I was potty-trained, which was age 22 months.

I was also a frequent bedwetter until I was 12. My mom thought I was doing it on purpose so I got punished for it almost every time. I don't have such issues anymore.