Inability to bond?

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Ive posted in a few threads about my belief that Reactive Attachment Disorder, (which I have been diagnosed with following Childhood abuse, abandonment and neglect), bring about similar neurological conditions to genetically inherited Aspergers Syndrome.

Try and touch something x amount of times, and you get beat over your hand every time, soon you wont be able to touch anything.

I guess its normal after not only having a hard to talking and bonding with people in general, but being hurt time and time again, and the failures, it all adds up.

At the end of the day, i know the only onei can trust, who has my back, is myself and i cant count on anyone. The cold hard reality.

i have trouble even bonding with my own mother, thats how far out its gotten for me. And thats the only family i have left.

It's definitely a trait.

In my entire life I've never felt that need to have a friend. At all. The only person I've bonded (deeply) with was someone who literally saved my life and years later I saved hers (very random set of events as well!). Since then we've been very close friends and I cannot fathom life without her friendship. Many times I wonder if this is how people bond with others...and easily. Its the stuff of depressive nights but also a nagging curiosity.

The bond that I had with my mum has weakened since the last time I've posted in this thread. She's said a few things to me that caused that to happen. Once in the June of 2010, once in the September of 2012 and once again in the March of 2013. If people treat me well, I share a strong bond with them. If people treat me like chopped liver, my bond with them becomes weaker. It fluctuates.

I am exactly the same way. I only have room for one intimate relationship at a time. When I do bond with people, it is intense though. I have a really hard time letting go.

I have a good bond with my parents, aunt and uncle and my grandparents.
And I have a very tight bond with my cousin who is my age.
And then there is my one friend who I bonded with when we were 9.
But at the same time I always feel somewhat separate and detached.
They are the people im able to drop barriers for.
The only ones who im comfortable with hugging and stuff.

That almost exactly describes me too.

This is especially true for me. My problem is that I sometimes bond with people who don't like me as much as I like them. Since I'm not equipped with the same intuition for boundaries like NTs, the other person would interpret my affection as "smothering" and distance themselves. Of course, I'm not aware of why they are being so distant with me and become more persistent in reaching them, which usually leads from annoyance to "never, ever contact me again!". I've unfortunately screwed up some friendships because of my lack of self-awareness, and am trying hard to prevent that in the future.

To me bonding is but a theory. I'm not quite sure what it means. Could you explain what it is like to you? Does it involve regular contact with people (and enjoying it)? As for family, what is bonding like? Having regular meetings? Hugging? Thinking about each other? Telling them things without being asked? In childhood - how does being bonded with your parents or siblings show? I keep racking my brain for information and can't put the pieces together. For example - I was told when I was age 4 and went for a walk with my father, a large dog approached us and I did not go to my father for protection but pretended to be interested in a bush beside the road and my father heard me whispering "here I can wait till that dog is away". Also, my mother tells me I didn't want to be touched even as a baby and explicitly told my parents to take their arms off me at age 2. I always thought that clear signs of NOT bonding. But how do you recognize bonding when it does occur?

I have never had a true bond with people but yet I do with my machines. They all have names and I actually miss them when I don't get to work with them for whatever reason. I feel sorry for them if they are in need of maintenance or are neglected, like at the Factory. For some reason, I have never felt this for a person. I guess it is not in my mental programming/wiring.