How good are you at picking ulterior motives?

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Greentea
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19 Apr 2008, 9:56 am

It was a big breakthrough for me and gave me a template from which to work from.

Yes, that's how I learned too.

Also, I discovered that my fury is not due to selfishness/egocentrism/craziness as I was taught to believe since I was born, but a sign that deep down my intuition knows I'm being conned.


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Kaleido
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19 Apr 2008, 10:13 am

Greentea wrote:
Also, I discovered that my fury is not due to selfishness/egocentrism/craziness as I was taught to believe since I was born, but a sign that deep down my intuition knows I'm being conned.

That is interesting, I am going to have a think about that; I think you are onto something there *nods*



Jeyradan
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19 Apr 2008, 10:47 am

Maybe half a percent.
I used not to realize there were ulterior motives, so I would of course never pick up on anything - hidden meanings, hints, cons, anything.
It's not much better nowadays - I know there are ulterior motives, and I can assume that they are often present in one form or another, but I can never tell when they are present or what they are. So, despite knowing that they exist and may or may not be happening in a given moment, I still respond as if there are no ulterior motives. Obviously, knowing of their existence has not been of much help just yet.



Viola
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19 Apr 2008, 11:41 am

velodog wrote:
[quote="Viola"The cynical part of me wholeheartedly agrees. So does the bitter part. And the misanthropistic part. And a few other parts of me, too.


You are quite a multifaceted person Viola. :D[/quote]

Thanks.



HereComeTheLizards
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19 Apr 2008, 3:14 pm

I've found it's safer to assume everyone has ulterior motives. Some would call this paranoia, but I say a lesson learned hard is a lesson learned forever.


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NarfMann
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19 Apr 2008, 8:41 pm

I don't pick up on it well at all, so I just assume that they have the worst intentions. It makes me seem like a jerk, but it's safer than being trusting.



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23 Apr 2008, 2:53 am

I've gotten pretty good at it. I learned from experience, sadly. Oh well, what doesn't kill me makes me stronger.


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23 Apr 2008, 11:04 am

I'm as trusting as a puppy :D no matter whom I'm talking to. :)


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sartresue
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23 Apr 2008, 12:02 pm

Motives of the ulterior kind topic

I am getting better. Take everything with a dash of skepticism. Always ask; take nothing for granted. I have worked with con artists and I could not see what they were doing to have my employment terminated. This is the last stumbling block I must work on. :(

Good luck to others.

Great topic, Greentea. :)


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pbcoll
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23 Apr 2008, 12:32 pm

As a little kid, I'm told I was very trusting. By the time I was 12, I was pretty paranoid (this tells you a lot about my childhood), and I find it extremely difficult to really trust anyone apart from my parents - not that I think they're out to get me, but that I wouldn't tell them my real feelings.


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anbuend
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23 Apr 2008, 12:44 pm

There are times when I can see only the ulterior motives and can't see what the person is trying to look like their motives are.

Other times, it just goes right past me, I don't notice it.

What frightens me is how clueless about it I used to be. I had people I thought were friends, who really just wanted someone to laugh at, and I'd stick around because I never had friends before. Even after I knew to get away from them, I was unaware of how vicious they would become and continue to be, to the point of blatant lying and stuff.

I have trouble with that stuff, because I don't tend to operate on the level that people like that operate on, and so I don't see it, I can be simultaneously very perceptive and very naive.

My brother once told me that one person we knew, she had three levels of what she was doing. She had what she was really thinking. Then she had what she wanted you to think. Then she had her reasons for wanting you to think that, and the things that she was trying to manipulate you into doing. He also said that she thought the entire rest of the world operated that way too, so she would see hidden motives where they didn't even exist, and she never took anyone at her word because she lied so often herself.

Which seems to me to be an awful and paranoid way to have to live. And very isolated.


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23 Apr 2008, 12:44 pm

I can be very paranoid at times :D but normally I'm more trusting than anyone you'd ever meet. Which leads to my getting hurt on a regular basis. :S


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Kaleido
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23 Apr 2008, 1:15 pm

What I want to know is how can we prove what we intuit? How do we know its right? after all, many people misunderstand us as aspies.



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23 Apr 2008, 1:23 pm

I have number intuition. I've never been wrong so far. But I guess "intuition" is not really a fair word, because I feel like it's more conscious than that.


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TallyMan
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23 Apr 2008, 1:53 pm

I have more difficulty picking up on ulterior motives than most other people. People often say I'm naive in dealings with others, always taking what they say or do on face value not aware that they may be trying to manipulate me in some way. This is more of a problem with family members or people who I'd call friends. I'm more wary of strangers - especially when it involves money or people peddling things or beliefs.



bee33
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24 Apr 2008, 6:05 am

I think I'm pretty good at figuring it out in cases where you can use logic to figure it out. I pick up on it when people say things that don't add up, and then I become suspicious and can figure out the deception. I think I'm possibly better at that than the average person.

But I'm very bad at seeing it when people do catty things for no real reason, other than just to amuse themselves at your expense or to make trouble. In that case, there is no logic to what they're doing, so it's very mysterious to me and I don't pick up on it.