Funny literalisms

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once, I had some friends over at my house, and I was cooking a pizza for us to eat. One of my friends asked, "Can I help?"

I thought she was bored and looking for something to do. What she should have asked was "Do you need any help?"

yeah, I've done that.

I don't understand. Why does someone ask you if you're watching the television, if the television is off?

i was reading a really interesting book and someone said


"thats as interesting as watching grass grow"
so i went outside to watch the grass grow...



...not that interesting.

watching paint dry is much more fun

Last edited by deathchibi on 21 May 2008, 3:55 am, edited 1 time in total.

I get the "How are you?" line on a regular basis. When I'm feeling lazier I will tend to ask: "How am I what?" .... but that aside, I've come up with a bit of a game for it, where I will basically answer with the first thing that comes into my head.... no matter how inappropriate to the question it might be, basically because I KNOW they don't give a toss about whatever I say.
One word replies are easy, especially if you have a good vocabulary (or coin words as I do). People asking how I am and getting replies such as "quixotic" or "tediated" tend to be confused, but don't ask any more. They tend to be even more confused when I reply: "bread and buttery" or "somewhat like dried bracken".

... But then I do tend to apply most of my "socialising" efforts toward making myself look different.

Correct answers: "The Ceiling / Roof / Sky / Birds / Aeroplanes / Clouds"
You don't need to look. I certainly never needed to look. To this day when people ask me that, I'll either ignore them completely or say "the ceiling".
In fact... I think the only time I actually looked up is when someone asked me that question and I looked above their head with a puzzled expression and said "a bucket of water". It is so funny to toy with gullible people like that.


Correct answer: "How is what hanging?" (ideally said through gritted teeth)
Other correct answer: "Like a Medieval Execution".



Correct answer: "I was born with it".
Other correct answer: "Your mother... this morning, though she was squealing so loudly at the time, I might have misheard".

Answer them anyway, if for no better reason than to annoy the Mundie. The more caustic the response, the better.

Last edited by SotiCoto on 21 May 2008, 3:55 am, edited 1 time in total.

SotiCoto, you must get tired from all the being angry. I don't see how you manage to use so much energy on NTs... I'd get bored.

The approved answer to "What's up?" is "not much". Same with "What's happening?". They actually have a similar meaning and origin. Doesn't take any energy really to notice the pattern, though you have to be on the ball to recognize and give the right response. Basically what it is, is like what dogs do when they sniff each other's butts... it means, "I'm here in a nonhostile context and I acknowledge your presence".

These greetings don't really pose too much of a problem for me. I've learned the questions and answers people use. It's what you're supposed to say afterward that puzzles me.

Last edited by Callista on 21 May 2008, 3:49 am, edited 4 times in total.

who you talking too Callista?

Fixed. Sorry.

I've already told everyone quite clearly: I don't get angry.
What deludes you into assuming I'd be angry?
Why do you and half the other Aspergians here get all weepy over so much?



If you want to be a boring, non-descript speck of dust in the corner.... sure.



Why say anything more than what is asked of you?
Mundies of no consequence require no more than the minimal necessary interaction to keep them pacified, and they're surprisingly unshaken in the long-term by randomness.
Besides... their responses to randomness are a good way to judge their character.

Last edited by SotiCoto on 21 May 2008, 3:54 am, edited 1 time in total.

OH


your name remindes me of calcifer from howls moving castle.

.... Anime? Rather than the original Welsh book?

yes anime, callista and calcifer sound similar

They have roughly the same vowel-sounds... with a half-exception on the end dependant on pronounciation. There is also the L in the middle.
Granted, in that respect they sound similar.... I suppose.


.... Wait, what were we supposed to be talking about again?

funny literalisms

I don't really find any of them all that funny.
Literality is the only way to communicate.
Being non-literal is counter-productive as it hinders accurate interpretation of communicative attempts. But I suppose, as I mentioned earlier, it is entirely possible to make fun of the mundies for their bizarre and arbitrary "small-talk".