My dad acsept my aspergers, pretends he acsept it, he doesnt

Page 1 of 1 [ 6 posts ] 

wob182
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 4 Apr 2008
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 172
Location: u.k.

29 May 2008, 8:17 pm

I get the feeling my dad has said yes i've got aspergers but wont ascept how big it is, or how life impacting it is.

Its properly the age old story he's met an guy with aspergers who appears worst because this guy showed his aspergers in more aggressive or obvious ways. At first i thought he'd had acspeted it coz he didnt show any emotion no reaction at all when he was with me at my diagnoses, i cried he didnt do anything. He just spent the whole time saying "you've got it mild" "Your ex was worst ur not like him"

It didnt occur to me, he doesnt quite get it until recently.
He's read the tony atwood book and thats it he thinks he knows all he needs to know thats it.

We had to fill out a medical form and he woudnt let me put i have aspergers on it because he said when we go see a difrent phycoligis for ADD medication she might think it only ADD

OMG I HAVE ASPERGERS ITS BEEN PROPER DIGNOSES GET IT INTO YOUR HEAD!! (I want to scream at him)

he dismisses everything i tell him i have or other effects of AS as being hypercontreeact. He says i event problems that arnt there.
I dont go looking for problems ! I look for reasons for my problems

ahhh its soo frustrating! I have no support now i only got diagnoses in march


_________________
I'm fed up of explaining after every post, I have dyslexia so sometimes my spelling and punctuation is off. I do use spell check doesn't always work...


Daewoodrow
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 182
Location: Canterbury, England

29 May 2008, 8:23 pm

I gather this is really common. You have to understand, your family members grew up with you. They know everything there is to know about you, how you developed, they watched you become the person you are today. If you tell them you're not normal, they'll reject the concept. As far as they are concerned, you have become a template in their mind, and everything you do will seem perfectly normal to them. When you say you have a condition that changes the way you behave, it's natural for them to understand, but question the extent.

He's not trying to hurt you or anything, he just can't see aspergers for the trees.


_________________
Umquam sentio nex?


nettiespaghetti
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 22 May 2008
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 343
Location: Michigan

29 May 2008, 8:24 pm

I suppose people that don't have it just simply can't relate to it and fully understand it. Maybe he really is trying, and maybe he just wants you to feel normal and not feel like you're different. He's probably having a hard time adjusting to the reality of what you have.



wob182
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 4 Apr 2008
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 172
Location: u.k.

29 May 2008, 8:26 pm

Daewoodrow wrote:

He's not trying to hurt you or anything, he just can't see aspergers for the trees.


I know but I know well ive been told 98% one of my parents or both have it I wunder which one. I think he's scared coz he knows it too that, he doesn't want to think about the possibly its very likely he might have it.


_________________
I'm fed up of explaining after every post, I have dyslexia so sometimes my spelling and punctuation is off. I do use spell check doesn't always work...


drybones
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 14 May 2008
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 313
Location: UK

30 May 2008, 4:03 am

thats a shame your Dad feels like that but a typical reaction nonetheless - hope things get better for you soon



SotiCoto
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 13 May 2008
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 474
Location: London

30 May 2008, 4:30 am

My father didn't accept that I was Aspergian either.

But he is dead now, so I don't give a toss.



Fact is, the monumental normality ego won't let them view it as a good thing. More often than not, the average person... including mundie parents... will tend to perceive it as some sort of disease (unless they get to know better), and will instantly go into denial about it, wanting to believe that you're just the same as everyone else (which society perceives wrongly as superior).

My mother, on the flipside, was the first one to suggest I had it after seeing a TV documentary about it.
Of course years later, I saw in retrospect that my mother herself seems to show at least SOME signs of spectrum behaviour, so I clearly got the bulk of it from her. Besides... my mother is also the one responsible for my being so anti-normal, since she was very much opposed to my doing or being "like everyone else", and was very particular about my speaking properly and generally coming across as better than the "common / stupid people". She could have gone about it differently... but since I've always had a high IQ, she was convinced that I should make use of it by aspiring to be better than everyone else who wasn't so smart. It really did shape my life that way.

.