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Who Taught You To Hate Yourself?

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MemberSix
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17 Sep 2008, 11:47 am

Tahitiii wrote:
MemberSix wrote:
You are a blind man raging against the invisible.
Well, for one thing, I'm not a man...
For another, I'm not blind and it's not invisible.
The corruption around us is ever-present and in broad daylight.
Our culture is basically dishonest and self-defeating.
And acknowledging this is a crime against humanity.

Sorry for the gender mix-up.
But no, what I meant was that your reasons for being so angry and resentful towards an NT world are founded in Aspie blindness and unaware of what for NT's, is the instinctual.
If you fitted in just fine, you wouldn't be angry for sure.



Tahitiii
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17 Sep 2008, 12:12 pm

No, I'm not angry and resentful because I don't understand.
I'm angry and resentful because I DO understand them, better than they understand themselves.
It takes me a little longer (sometimes a lot longer) to figure them out specifically because they are corrupt and dishonest.
I don't have those instincts for dishonesty, cruelty and blind obedience and I can't relate, hence the accusation of "lack of empathy."
Sometimes I am unable to play because I don't understand the game.
More often, I refuse to play because I do understand the game. The game itself is sick.

I'm angry and resentful because people in positions of authority usually abuse their positions and twist the minds if children until they don't know who they are or what they are doing.
If you're confused by all the self-contradictory crap they give you, their ready solution is to trust and obey and don't ask any questions.
Honesty leads to all kinds of insubordinate thoughts and behaviors that they can't tolerate.


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ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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17 Sep 2008, 12:20 pm

Okay...this is the sad realization. Us Aspies just aren't as good at playing the NT game it zaps our confidence and that pisses us off. Thus, we are angry.


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MemberSix
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17 Sep 2008, 12:20 pm

Tahitiii wrote:
No, I'm not angry and resentful because I don't understand.
I'm angry and resentful because I DO understand them, better than they understand themselves.
It takes me a little longer (sometimes a lot longer) to figure them out specifically because they are corrupt and dishonest.
I don't have those instincts for dishonesty, cruelty and blind obedience and I can't relate, hence the accusation of "lack of empathy."
Sometimes I am unable to play because I don't understand the game.
More often, I refuse to play because I do understand the game. The game itself is sick.

I'm angry and resentful because people in positions of authority usually abuse their positions and twist the minds if children until they don't know who they are or what they are doing.
If you're confused by all the self-contradictory crap they give you, their ready solution is to trust and obey and don't ask any questions.
Honesty leads to all kinds of insubordinate thoughts and behaviors that they can't tolerate.

Your views border on delusional paranoia - but mainly because they're based on a misinterpretation borne of Aspinoid 'visual' impairment.



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17 Sep 2008, 12:21 pm

The OP question presumes that the reader self-hates. I do not hate myself. Instead, I realize that being an Aspie places me in a peculiar position with NTs.

On the one hand, they appreciate my objectivity, intelligence, my near-obsessive focus on completing a task, and the ability to see both the Big Picture and the smaller details all at once (e.g., I see both the forest and each tree within it, so to speak). :)

On the other hand, they do not appreciate my honesty when it comes to pointing out the inherent flaws in an idea, a design, or a prototype. Nor do they appreciate my honest opinion, even when they ask for it, and especially when my opinion is something they do not want to hear. (i.e., "Does this outfit make me look fat?" ... "No, you are fat. That outfit just makes it obvious.") :(

On the gripping hand, I am what I am, and that's all that I'll ever be. :D


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17 Sep 2008, 12:24 pm

ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:
Okay...this is the sad realization. Us Aspies just aren't as good at playing the NT game it zaps our confidence and that pisses us off. Thus, we are angry.

Yes this is true. It is not that there aren't unhelpful people that can make you life a misery. It is more that these people don't have to run you life if you don't let them, and most of them have little connection with each other.



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17 Sep 2008, 12:27 pm

0_equals_true wrote:
ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:
Okay...this is the sad realization. Us Aspies just aren't as good at playing the NT game it zaps our confidence and that pisses us off. Thus, we are angry.

Yes this is true. It is not that there aren't unhelpful people that can make you life a misery. It is more that these people don't have to run you life if you don't let them, and most of them have little connection with each other.


I hate to be the one to complain because I know they mean well. Every time I go to the neighborhood store the cashiers, some of them, too many of them, call me "sweety" and "honey", words that sound too sugary and condescending to me even though I don't know if their intention is condescension. It just makes me feel uncomfortable and I wonder if they truly think I am totally brainless. If I were brainless that wouldn't bother me
:(
This zaps my confidence too.


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17 Sep 2008, 12:30 pm

ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:
I hate to be the one to complain because I know they mean well. Every time I go to the neighborhood store the cashiers, some of them, too many of them, call me "sweety" and "honey", words that sound too sugary and condescending to me even though I don't know if their intention is condescension. It just makes me feel uncomfortable and I wonder if they truly think I am totally brainless. If I were brainless that wouldn't bother me
:(
This zaps my confidence too.

It is ok to be a grumpy 'ole bastard as long as you a content with that. It is called being human.



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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17 Sep 2008, 12:31 pm

But I'm not old:(


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17 Sep 2008, 12:32 pm

I wondero how many grumpy, crotchety old men were really Aspies just trying to maintain a quiet, stim-free environment ... ?


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17 Sep 2008, 12:35 pm

MemberSix wrote:
...based on a misinterpretation borne of Aspinoid 'visual' impairment.
That's the point. It's not a misinterpretation.
NT behavior is based on herd-instinct. Everything follows from that. They don't understand themselves or their own motives.
If I don't understand or refuse to play, they automatically presume that it's because there's something wrong with me. The presumption is based on circular reasoning.

Tell me again why I should send my son across the ocean to kill some stranger?
To protect the interests of some fat cat? Why would that be smart?
So that the fat cat can continue to destroy the environment, the culture, the political system, the economy and eventually himself? At what point does reason or honesty enter the equation?

Tell me again why I should accept drugs or a lobotomy from some doctor who doesn't understand himself and makes irrational presumptions about me, based on other irrational presumptions...

The problem is not that I don't understand, but that I do.



Last edited by Tahitiii on 17 Sep 2008, 12:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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17 Sep 2008, 12:37 pm

ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:
But I'm not old:(

It's an expression :D



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17 Sep 2008, 12:38 pm

I may have a bad attitude (have been told that most my life) but I am not old nor male.


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17 Sep 2008, 12:41 pm

Tahitiii wrote:
The problem is not that I don't understand, but that I do.

I don't think you understand a great deal more than behaviourists that are still struggling to understand this very conundrum. Did you come up with the herd mentality idea or did you read about it? Humans struggle to understand their behaviour. They have a combination of individualistic traits and an undercurrent of inherent behaviour.



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17 Sep 2008, 12:44 pm

ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:
I may have a bad attitude (have been told that most my life) but I am not old nor male.

I know it wasn't direct targeted at you, just that it is ok to be like that stereotype. I wouldn't consider myself to be like that, but there are times when I'm more virulent in making my views known.