When did you first learn the concept of lying?

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MetroidSocrates
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21 Oct 2015, 7:04 pm

I didn't even know what a lie was until I was 8 years old, when I learned it from a bully. The concept of it simply never occurred to me until I was told about it. Has anyone here had a similar experience?



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21 Oct 2015, 7:21 pm

Around 7 years old from a friend.

After that I thought lies just solved things for people. I never really lied though, I just tell the truth, sometimes too often.



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21 Oct 2015, 7:39 pm

When I was in kindergarten, just before Christmas, my older brother told me that Santa Claus wasn't real. Asked my mom if that was so and she confirmed it. Been practicing lying ever since, as I grokked right away that it was an important skill for getting by in the world, even if it hurt me to do it. Ashamed to say I've gotten fairly good at it.


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21 Oct 2015, 7:40 pm

When someone told me that they loved me, and then I overheard them later telling someone else how much they hated me.

I think I was about 7 years old at the time.


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21 Oct 2015, 8:36 pm

I did when I was 7. (Odd, I wonder why is this as well?)

I caught some schoolmate stealing lunch money. When the owner cried for it, an adult went and asks who has the money. The thief denied it.
I even confronted the him, he simply rasped at me saying no one would believe me. Just another manipulative child I encountered during those days.

It's probably when I vowed to myself that I will backfire the likes of him.


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21 Oct 2015, 10:39 pm

Probably around 10 years old. I am not comfortable with trying to lie myself and certainly do not trust my ability.



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21 Oct 2015, 10:49 pm

I really don't want to talk about it, as it was a painful and traumatic experience that I did not understand back then and apparently I'm going to hell.



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22 Oct 2015, 12:19 am

my childhood best friend (our moms hung out all the time so naturally we had to play together, and through growing up together we became close friends) went through a phase where he would make up facts about things and play them off as though he knew what he was talking about. being like 5, at first I thought he suddenly became way smarter than he already was. I soon realized that he was just bullshitting though, and that's when I became interested in lying. I had understood it before because I've always been a liar, but I hadn't thought much about it until then.



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22 Oct 2015, 4:25 am

When I was 3 or 4. It was more from instinct, because I just knew that telling a lie meant I didn't get into trouble, or didn't have to do something I didn't want to do.


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22 Oct 2015, 4:36 am

I'm sure it was right after the first time I connected punishment with bad behaviour, most likely around age 5 as I wasn't much of a talker pryor to that.


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22 Oct 2015, 4:38 am

The earliest lie I remember was when I was six or seven, and my sister (three years younger than me) was upstairs lying about me supposedly hitting her. I found this behavior shocking but it made other things make sense. She got in trouble for it because it was an obvious lie, but she had lied to get me into trouble on many other occasions.



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22 Oct 2015, 7:56 am

It first started to really "sink in" at age 7. I was in the bathroom at school and some 6th graders were wetting paper towel and throwing it on the ceiling, causing it to stick. I looked on with my rule-following following eyes and objected that even though it looked fun it was still wrong, one of the kids said "don't worry. Mr (principal) said it's okay. The janitor likes taking it down too! All the kids smiled and agreed and a teacher soon caught me (and only me). I still didn't think I did anything wrong: after all, the 6th graders all said the principal okay-ed it!



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22 Oct 2015, 4:22 pm

Some researchers say that lying is "good" for you.

The thought is, a child who is lying soon learns how to "back up" their lies to make them stand the test of being "believable" by the folks around them. In other words, to become a good and successful liar you must further lie to remain believable. All of this requires much thought and planning if the lie is to be accepted, therefor you become more proficient at planning. This is called an "advantage" by child psychologists.

(joke) If you get really good at this you can become a politician.

(Edit) I'm not sure when I first lied. But my younger brother learned it early and had a field day his entire "short" life (until it all caught up with him one day). Lying is bad.



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22 Oct 2015, 9:34 pm

I don't remember when I learned about it, but I do know I wasn't very good at it until I was 17 and this guy who was in the group of people who became my first friends back when I was 13 taught me how. He actually gave me lessons in it with assignments of different lies to tell and how to tell them. He said it was important to learn how to lie well, and not just for things I was going to use it for right then, like coming home later than my mother told me to or not doing homework or getting out of going somewhere that I didn't want to go. It wasn't that hard and I got very good at it and still am good at it although I only lie when I need to now.

I don't think it's bad, like the poster above said. It can be bad, depending on what you are lying about and to whom, but sometimes it's good to lie about certain things, especially if it prevents hurt feelings. I'm not talking about telling somebody you love them when you don't, or telling a friend that something looks good when they look ridiculous or something like that, but there are times when a lie is much better for everyone involved than the truth. I'm sure the hardliners against lying will disagree with me, but I stand by what I said here. I also don't distrust someone forever if I find out they lied to me about something like some folks here say they do. I'm also pretty sure that everybody has lied at least once, even if it wasn't a big lie or it's something they don't remember doing or it wasn't premeditated.

Someone on here once also said about lying that "lying kills my soul". I don't get that. Also, a question for the zero tolerance about lying people; why does it bother you so very much if somebody tells you a white lie and you never trust them again? I could see being that way if they told you something big but I really don't get it for something small and well meaning like that.


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22 Oct 2015, 11:29 pm

I've been wondering about this very thing recently. Because I'm an adult, and I'm apparently pathologically incapable of lying. It's very awkward. I seriously just can't do it. Asked a direct question, I have two options - answer honestly or refuse to answer at all, which sometimes is an answer in itself and I can't do anything about it. And this is not for any particularly moral reason, it's just this glitch in my brain and I cannot say something I know to be untrue. The best I can do is not say anything, which others may call lying by omission. Which makes me VERY secretive, as I need to keep everything concealed so no one will ask about things I don't want to be public, because I know if directly asked I will be unable to lie. Maybe this is just me, not an autistic thing.


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22 Oct 2015, 11:36 pm

I find it interesting when people who do get lying and do lie can't conceive of anyone not ever lying.

Statements that one cannot lie are not exactly uncommon among autistic people.