How you come across online vs. in real life

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I'd be interested in people's answer to this, because in my case I suspect they are two very different things.

In real life, I am painfully shy, hopelessly awkward, weird-looking, can't hold a conversation with anyone to save my life, my voice is weak, my enunciation difficult to understand, and strangers typically think I'm mentally incompetent.

Online, I suspect I come across as much more confident, intelligent, and articulate - perhaps annoyingly so, as someone who stands up for her opinions (whereas IRL I tend to just meekly smile and nod and avoid conflict).

I don't mean to make the focus of this thread about me personally, but would like to hear if other people have similar issues, in that they appear much more obviously autistic in real life, and less so here on WP?

I present myself better online than in person.

In person, I'm somebody who has a reputation for clowning around.

Online, I appear more serious.

Methinks I obviously appear autistic since here I am posting on Wrong Planet.

That said, when I don't disclose I'm female on a forum, people can easily get the impression I'm male.
I was once told by a feminist (oh, the irony!) on a forum that I was "too intelligent" to be female.
And it wasn't like I was trying to fool her.

I suppose the strength of being online for me is
being able to communicate my thoughts
without having "body language" or "tone of voice"
or anything get in the way or be distracting.

I also don't mind too much when people mistake me for a male
when I use a gender-neutral name and don't post a photo,
because in my experience, at least in the past ...
men get treated with more respect online than women do.

Nowadays, I don't mind as much if people know I'm female
because I don't do online RPG adventure story role-playing much these days.
(There are some male characters that I have a good knack for portraying.)

...

Last edited by the_phoenix on 28 Dec 2016, 7:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Phoenix: I never had any doubt that you are female---ever.

Yes, kraftiekortie,

Because I never hid the fact that I'm a female here on Wrong Planet.

I used to hide my gender on forums that dealt with
Lord of the Rings and X-Files ...
so that I could play the characters of Gandalf the Grey and the Cigarette-Smoking Man respectively.
* mischievous grin *

Oh yeah ... I have smoking as a habit when I'm online, or at least I used to.
As in, I don't really smoke ... but my characters do.

...

I do not know how I appear or sound to other people either online or face-to-face, but I am definitely much more conversant online...and I suspect people think I am weird or whatever in either setting.

You don't seem weird to me ...

Also, do people react more positively to you online, or in real life?

IRL people tend to think I'm 'nice but shy'. Online, people tend to dislike me for not adhering to herd mentality. I guess the common factor is that I'm too weird to fit in, but I handle it differently in each case.

Not intending this as a complaint, simply an observation, and an exercise in understanding my social challenges better.

People tend to respond to me more positively online than in person.

I'm probably a better writer than a speaker

(though I'm not nearly as a good a writer as many here).

I'm more patient online. Mainly due to having seen too many endless arguments played out here. I'm hilariously tall and evil looking so I don't have many arguments AFK.

Hahaha I'm trying to picture this

CumberBowie =D

Your observation is entirely valid.

As one who does not adhere to the herd mentality anywhere at all,
fitting in with "the cool kids" is not gonna realistically happen
either online or IRL ...
But then, going it alone out into the wilderness with camera in hand
is what led me to becoming an artist ...
If you follow the herd,
you won't be a trailblazer,
and will likely not find your own path.

...

How can anybody NOT like Phoenix?

I like people who constantly emerge from the Ashes unscathed.

And who maintain their integrity, and maintain their idealism.

I get carried away sometimes LOL.

Sorry, Phoenix.

This is exactly what many people don't like ...
people like to feel superior to others,
so they tend to like to surround themselves with
people to look down on (for being different if nothing else)
and people who blend in with them (so nobody in the group is seen as a threat).

An individual who won't play the game isn't welcome in the group.

Anyways, thank you for your kind words, kraftie!

Because I like deciding what the game is myself, anyways.