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LovesMoose
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10 Sep 2011, 6:00 pm

This is the first time I've ever revealed this to anyone, but I need to do this, so here goes:

Apparently it's not unusual for someone on the spectrum to have problems with motor skills and coordination. Please help me understand something about myself that's difficult to grasp. When I was a young girl I wasn't able to walk with my arms synched with my legs. When people walk their arms move in tandem with their legs. This is a very natural pattern of movement, but my arms just hung at my sides. After a few years of being teased about this and people pointing it out, I made a concerted effort to teach myself how to walk and move like everyone else. And gradually it worked.

Also, although I remember running on the playground and playing decently normally, running has been a problem for me, too. This is really difficult to describe, and I feel dizzy just thinking about what this felt like, but I have keen memories of jogging and then suddenly feeling off balance and losing that ability to maintain my rhythm between my legs and arms. It was only recently that I drew a connection between this problem and my childhood problem of not being able to walk naturally. Although I've ironed out my problems with running and can now run without this problem, the physical sensation I get whenever I think about my previous struggles is nauseating. It was like trying to run on a moving ship and suddenly feeling out of whack. Gross, yuck ... can't stay on this thought much longer.

Switching focus ... There's also my lifelong problem of struggling with holding a pen or pencil. My hands tire easily. Yes, I can write pages of notes if I must, but my handwriting often shakes and wobbles, and the exhaustion I feel in my hands can be really annoying. Writing things by hand has always been a problem for me, and at one point my father told me to start using a ruler to write, which really fed into my OCD tendencies and created other problems for me. To do this day I dread filling out forms by hand, and I always hold my pens and pencils incorrectly. I just can't maintain control when I hold them correctly.

As a former special education teacher, I know that these things probably fall under the Aspergers umbrella. But as a self-identified woman on the spectrum (post-teaching career) it's an odd feeling being on the other side of the table and turning the light on my own history in an effort to better understand things. So what are your thoughts on this? I'm weaving connections throughout much of my life experiences and seeing patterns that I never knew existed. It makes me sad when I look back and see this very lonely and confused (and ashamed) younger woman and girl who couldn't understand why she was different. But looking back is the only way I can weave meaning into my life and make sense of what makes me the person I am today.

Thoughts, comments, personal experiences ... all are welcome.

Carla



Last edited by LovesMoose on 10 Sep 2011, 11:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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10 Sep 2011, 6:20 pm

Don't feel alone, that is very common. I too have had comments on how I walk and how it's bizarre. From my own mother no less.

Gross and fine motor skills are often affected by AS, walking can be affected, we have a "peculiar gait" apparently, and it's very common for arms to not synch with walking. I never thought about it until just recently but my arms don't swing when I walk either, and when they do they swing way too much.

Jogging, running, etc, all your movements would definitely be affected.

Sloppy handwriting and holding a pen/pencil weirdly and such are also AS things. My handwriting is terrible and the OCDness definitely comes out when trying to write by hand. Tony Attwood mentions a lot about how Aspies tend to shy away from handwriting stuff, which is why computers are so great. :D The letters are perfect every time.

Don't feel alone, don't be afraid, because knowing is half the battle. XD No, but seriously, these are all very common things and you seem to have handled them very well. :)


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Apple_in_my_Eye
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10 Sep 2011, 9:03 pm

Yeah, weird movements/coordination is a known thing. It's interesting that it is similar in some ways to Parkinson's and other things that affect the basal ganglia. I.e. lack of swinging arms when walking.

A few years ago I started using a cane due to some dizziness/balance issues (new ones, that is). That has turned out to be useful in a lot of other ways, though, and has made me aware of even more movement oddities than I'd noticed before.

I.e. I can walk a much straighter path with it (otherwise, I tend to knock merchandise off of racks with my shoulders in stores). I think it's a propioceptive thing -- I don't really feel my legs or feet when I'm walking, which gives only a vague sense of control over direction (feel a little like a hot-air balloon).

I used to have some bookmarks of articles about autism and movement; I'll have to try to find those.



izzeme
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11 Sep 2011, 3:28 am

movement coordination is a very common problem; i myself still cannot really sync my arms to my legs while walking, although when i run, it's easier (though i barely ever run other then a short sprint, fast-walking is usually faster).
handwriting; same thing, i have my own way of holding pens and a handwriting that's illegible to anyone but me, and the last page or 2 of lecture notes even cost me efford to read...



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13 Nov 2012, 10:18 pm

When I run I look like a velociraptor. I also love leaning on walls whenever I can...not from lack of strength, just more comfortable.

My handwriting is really bad though, the letters are all different sizes.


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13 Nov 2012, 11:09 pm

I can't walk a straight line on a flat surface and I trip over nothing. I bump into things, I lumber, I lilt to one side, I'm awkward. I am rather "ungainly". The only time I feel coordinated is when I walk with my dog and we fall into the same rhythm. Maybe his company just helps me feel less conscious of my movements and not so anxious when we pass other people. I don't know. Yoga is helping me with coordination and stiffness.

I never could hold a writing implement "properly". I have horrible handwriting which was noted for years on my report cards and by my profs currently. Reports also noted my "stiff arm" and no movement in my wrist. I still have people comment on the way I hold my pen - they ask: how can you write like that? My arm gets tired quickly.



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14 Nov 2012, 12:40 am

SanityTheorist wrote:
When I run I look like a velociraptor.


LOL


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14 Nov 2012, 12:41 am

Does anyone ever run into people they are walking side-by-side with? I do this often. Sometimes I blame the other person, but it is almost always my fault. :roll:


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14 Nov 2012, 12:50 am

littlelily613 wrote:
SanityTheorist wrote:
When I run I look like a velociraptor.


LOL

I also liked that description. Best way of putting that, ever. 8)


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btbnnyr
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14 Nov 2012, 12:57 am

littlelily613 wrote:
Does anyone ever run into people they are walking side-by-side with? I do this often. Sometimes I blame the other person, but it is almost always my fault. :roll:


Usually, it's the wall that I run into when I am walking by its side. Maybe I walk in a zigzag?

Velociraptors are awesome.



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14 Nov 2012, 7:37 am

littlelily613 wrote:
Does anyone ever run into people they are walking side-by-side with? I do this often. Sometimes I blame the other person, but it is almost always my fault. :roll:


Always. I am either tripping over my own feet or those of my wife who I am walking besides.

I never used to think there was anything odd with my walk but, at work we have to wear lanyards around our necks. I started to notice that mine bounces and swings all over the place when I walk whereas my colleagues' lanyards generally just hang there pretty still which would seem to indicate that I have a very clumsy/bouncy walk but am not conciously aware of it. This would makes sense as I am usually not aware of my (now only occasional - I hope) head rocking movements either.


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14 Nov 2012, 9:54 am

Yes, me too. When I was a child my parents took me to a chiropodist because of my awkward gait/posture and I had to do lots of silly exercises and have my feet electrocuted. I have always had posture problems, and constantly bump into things, fall over things, drop things, knock things over, and lose my balance. I don't like having to climb ladders or onto chairs because I feel like I will fall off.

I draw and have good handwriting, so I do seem to have good fine motor control, though I still drop and knock over objects with my hands, so it seems to be just using a pen/pencil which is the exception!



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14 Nov 2012, 10:47 am

Si_82 wrote:
littlelily613 wrote:
Does anyone ever run into people they are walking side-by-side with? I do this often. Sometimes I blame the other person, but it is almost always my fault. :roll:


Always. I am either tripping over my own feet or those of my wife who I am walking besides.

I never used to think there was anything odd with my walk but, at work we have to wear lanyards around our necks. I started to notice that mine bounces and swings all over the place when I walk whereas my colleagues' lanyards generally just hang there pretty still which would seem to indicate that I have a very clumsy/bouncy walk but am not conciously aware of it. This would makes sense as I am usually not aware of my (now only occasional - I hope) head rocking movements either.


I never thought of that, but this happens to me, too. I just thought it was because I had breasts, but I haven't noticed other people's keys swinging and jangling like mine do. I am not that well endowed nor am I flat, either. I'm constrained in a work shirt so I think I have a pretty average surface at play. I wondered why I make such a racket. You can hear me walking across the yard and I have grabbed my keys to quiet them due to embarrassment.



TonyHoyle
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14 Nov 2012, 10:56 am

Odd.. I've never connected the dots there either.

Lanyards always bounce around for me - often ending up on my back. I tuck them under things like hi-vis if I'm wearing any.

I thought everyone's keys made a racket, too, not just mine..



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14 Nov 2012, 11:20 am

My brother who has AS once got a lanyard on his neck stuck in the car door with the keys inside so he was locked out.



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14 Nov 2012, 11:42 am

littlelily613 wrote:
Does anyone ever run into people they are walking side-by-side with? I do this often. Sometimes I blame the other person, but it is almost always my fault. :roll:

Daily. :roll:

I am a huge klutz. I always have mystery bruises all over my legs from bumping into things all day long. I have always had terrible balance and coordination. I often drop things, trip over things, spill things, stumble and lose my balance while standing on a bus, etc. I think toe-walking since birth and not swinging my arms while walking probably contribute a lot to why I trip and stumble a lot while walking.


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