How do I learn to verbally intimidate people?

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Aalto
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14 Feb 2009, 8:12 pm

slowmutant wrote:
As an alternative to everything mentioned so far, you could try speaking in a high British accent.


That one thing works the least, at least in Yorkshire.



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14 Feb 2009, 8:17 pm

Aalto wrote:
slowmutant wrote:
As an alternative to everything mentioned so far, you could try speaking in a high British accent.


That one thing works the least, at least in Yorkshire.


Many regional English dialects give the impression of a mild stroke or some form of oral cancer or even mental retardation. That mush-mouth grates on the nerves, doesn't?

I mean like how Lara Croft speaks. Very upper-class and uppity.



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14 Feb 2009, 8:22 pm

FlamingYouth wrote:
I'm not really a big fan of intimidation. If you're trying to intimidate a low-life or a bully who's been picking on you, chances are that will only add fuel to his fire, and he/she will become even more abusive to you. The best thing to do is just ignore people like that. They'll leave you alone eventually if they find out they're not getting what they expected from you.


Worst advice ever. That's what I did in high school and my ignoring my bullies only made things worse. If you don't give them what they want, they will keep upping the ante until you snap.



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14 Feb 2009, 8:39 pm

ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:
Verbal Self Defense? If someone humiliates you tell them to f**k off, you don't appreciate it and you won't let them get away with it. If it's at work, you can tell a supervisor.
Just remember, if you attack someone verbally and they got an aggressive personality they will pull stuff behind your back and resort to more devious tactics instead of confrontation, like defaming you to people at work so they are afraid of you and don't want to socialize with you, avoid you. They can ruin your reputation and make your life crap.


I met someone like that in high school, only I am not sure what I did (or didn't do) to upset him. Perhaps he was paranoid and read my silence and remote manner as a sign of contempt and defiance.



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14 Feb 2009, 8:55 pm

Postperson wrote:
there is one useful thing people may not know. it only applies in the case of people accusing you or pointing the finger at you in some kind of unreasonable criticism. it can often be a form of 'projection' the things that people hate about themselves they project on to others as others faults, so they can really be telling you all their faults and all the things they hate about themselves, but it comes in the form of accusations, criticism or slander aimed at you.


It took me far too long to work out that this was what my husband was doing to me, but once I understood that he was projecting onto me, I learned a lot about him and his insecurities and fears.



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14 Feb 2009, 9:32 pm

I wouldn't recommend verbal intimidation, mainly because it can get you seriously hurt, but I understand feeling like you need to defend yourself. If you just want to bully the person so they'll shut up or to stun them focus on something about them that they are very ashamed of and don't let it go. Everyone has something like this. For example if someone is pretty attractive except that they have a huge awkard looking nose, focus on that. "Wha? I'm sorry I was distracting by that f***ing nose!" Throwing some f-bombs in always adds a little oomph to what your saying. If you really just want to scare them or shock them get right in their face and throw a bunch of f-bombs in your sentence. Again, I wouldn't recommend intimidating people like this, and I'm not responsible if you get the crap beat out of you. :P



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14 Feb 2009, 9:38 pm

I'd just get other people to laugh at them. Repeating their name in a disappointing tone. Using their words against them. Confusing them with non-sequiteurs. Treating them as 'simple minded'.
Stuff like that.



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14 Feb 2009, 10:47 pm

pakled wrote:
I'd just get other people to laugh at them. Repeating their name in a disappointing tone. Using their words against them. Confusing them with non-sequiteurs. Treating them as 'simple minded'.
Stuff like that.



No. I don't want to rely on ad-hominems. The idea is to intimidate the other person, in an intelligent manner.



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14 Feb 2009, 11:11 pm

Mw99 wrote:
FlamingYouth wrote:
I'm not really a big fan of intimidation. If you're trying to intimidate a low-life or a bully who's been picking on you, chances are that will only add fuel to his fire, and he/she will become even more abusive to you. The best thing to do is just ignore people like that. They'll leave you alone eventually if they find out they're not getting what they expected from you.


Worst advice ever. That's what I did in high school and my ignoring my bullies only made things worse. If you don't give them what they want, they will keep upping the ante until you snap.

I'm sorry to hear that. But it worked for me. It helps if you have friends or good acquaintances that come to your defense when you're being bullied, and I guess I was fortunate to have that a lot in middle school and high school. But still, if you're strong enough inside to keep ignoring them no matter what they do, eventually most bullies will figure out you're not worth their time. I guess if you do feel the need to talk to them, then maybe learning some good ways of verbal intimidation might be a good idea. But the last thing you want to do is "give them what you want" like you said, because if you do that, you've proven to them that you are weak and a good target for bullying. So they'll only be worse the next time you see them



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14 Feb 2009, 11:43 pm

Find some obscure flaw, and gigantisize it. You'll get into a war of words, and the first few times you'll lose. But it's like anything else:With time you'll get better.



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15 Feb 2009, 12:47 am

Whatsherhame wrote:
Find some obscure flaw, and gigantisize it. You'll get into a war of words, and the first few times you'll lose. But it's like anything else:With time you'll get better.

You can do something like that but remember, if you have a flaw the person will most likely pounce on that in retaliation, if not right away, perhaps later, after they have thought of it. I've tried many of the tactics mentioned here myself. One thing I've noticed: if I make fun of someone's flaw they pounce on one of mine and when I look for another one of theirs and then point that out they just find another one of mine. It goes on and on because we never run out of flaws. This is what you can do: If you get in a situation where it's you and the other guy continuously pointing out each other's flaws getting more viscious each time and it's starting to upset you or piss you off, just start laughing like a maniac. Laugh loudly. Laugh profoundly. Laugh hysterically. Laugh for as long as you can and watch to see what the other guy's next move will be.



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15 Feb 2009, 1:11 am

That's why I use truth as my weapon. Because that's the one thing that most people can't match, so it won't escalate. It ends right there and then.


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15 Feb 2009, 2:08 am

-Vorzac- wrote:
intimidation is not about what you say, it's about presence.

I have been told that I intimidate people, yet I rarely in real life say anything insulting or intimidating to someone.

I can, and have had panic attacks in public, and not have anyone notice my distress, because I scowl and stalk about like I hate the world and everything in it, even when I feel vunerable. however, when I open my mouth, it all falls down, showign that 'verbal' intimidation does not really work.

Learn a bit about psychology, and body language. these things will help you.


I agree with this response, and can relate to it quite a bit. Although, I might be slightly ahead with the verbal part. :chin:


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15 Feb 2009, 4:13 am

i think the 1st reply pretty much said it all. its not about what you say or how you say it, or glueing together impressive combinations of clever insults.

of course, you have to do better than a lonely "... oh yeah??"

its a lot more in your presence than in the choise of words.
for example, a simple glance in return, can be tons more intimidating than some aggressive rant of insults.

i wonder tho, whats this need you have to verbally intimidate people? :D



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15 Feb 2009, 6:27 am

Mw99 wrote:
Suppose that you obtain a black belt in karate: you could use your fighting skills to beat up innocent people, or you could use them to defend yourself the next time someone tries to hurt you.

I want to learn "verbal intimidation" because I want to be able to defend myself, verbally, the next time someone gives me a hard time or tries to publicly humiliate me.

Right now, I just can't do it. I am not one of those people who get really angry, shout a few clever words, and make their aggressors tremble in fear of social humiliation.

Is there such thing as "verbal intimidation" courses or perhaps some book written on the subject?

I don't know how I can beat up allmost anyone verbaly, it just comes to me when I need it. :D
It's allmost allways about makeing the other one look stupid becouse of what he said, if they learn that you'll take whatever they say and use it to make them look stupid, they won't come after you. ;)

Of course you should allways have a backup plan.

If they are trying to make a mean joke about you/towards you, the best thing you can do is play stupid and ask them to explain what's so funny, then let them explain the joke to death (you still pretend that you don't get it). :twisted:
It will never come up again. :lol:

Quote:
I'm sorry to hear that. But it worked for me. It helps if you have friends or good acquaintances that come to your defense when you're being bullied, and I guess I was fortunate to have that a lot in middle school and high school. But still, if you're strong enough inside to keep ignoring them no matter what they do, eventually most bullies will figure out you're not worth their time. I guess if you do feel the need to talk to them, then maybe learning some good ways of verbal intimidation might be a good idea. But the last thing you want to do is "give them what you want" like you said, because if you do that, you've proven to them that you are weak and a good target for bullying. So they'll only be worse the next time you see them

So you didn't fight, others did it for you. You didn't "win" becouse you ignored them.
"eventually most bullies will figure out you're not worth their time"
This is allmost right, the correct is:
"You must show them that you are not worth the effort."


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15 Feb 2009, 6:49 am

Silvervarg wrote:
So you didn't fight, others did it for you. You didn't "win" becouse you ignored them.
"eventually most bullies will figure out you're not worth their time"
This is allmost right, the correct is:
"You must show them that you are not worth the effort."


in my experience, some bullies are happy as long as they have a safe outlet, to pour their insecurities on.
so, in some cases, neither ignoring nor reacting to them will make any difference. in this case, an attitude change, outwards, towards other people may be more helpful. they see you interact openly with people around you, they will be more reluctant to mob against someone who has friends, than someone who wanders around allone.

it often depends where the bully is "coming from".

a factor that unites most bullies, is their own insecurity. the bullied one can use that to his/her advantage