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Name the #1 behavior your parents hate you doing!! !

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gina-ghettoprincess
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09 Mar 2009, 9:13 am

b9 wrote:

my parents were always very busy and they were glad i was too, so they had no problems with me until it came time to be "together".
my mother used to cook dinner and i never trusted her cooking or hygiene. also, i used to be extremely fussy with my food and i needed to have separate plates for all the ingredients of my dinner.
they had to be MY plates as well.
if we had eg: sausages and mashed potato and mushrooms sauteed in butter, then i would have to have 3 plates.
the mushrooms were nice, but they had a darkish ooze that, if it touched the mashed potato, would spoil the mashed potato. also, i put a barbecue sauce puddle on the corner of my sausage plate and cut the sausages and dipped each slice in the sauce before i ate it.
then i would return to the mushroom plate and have a bit of mushroom. and the same with the mashed potatoes. i demanded i have plenty of paper towels handy so i could wipe my fork and knife before i went to a different plate.
if i had some sauce on my fork, i had to wipe it clean before i used that fork for the mashed potatoes or mushrooms.
it was either that, or i had to have 3 sets of cutlery.

my mother grew up apparently during hard times (she was oldish when i was adopted) and she kept telling me that they used to have to eat inferior food and i would do well to live in those times.

when i was very young, i was going to have a drink of quik (chocolate powder that you add to white milk) and i smelled the carton of milk (which i always did and i smelled everything i was going to eat and that annoyed her too) and i thought it smelled rank.

i checked the use-by date and found it was 4 days over. i alerted my mother to this, but she smelled it and said it was fine, and that the use-by labels were a ploy for suppliers of products to get a higher turnover.
she was very miserly even though our family was extremely well off.

i smelled the milk again and assured her that it smelled stale/sour, and she then poured a glass for herself and drank it and licked her lips and said it was fine. i thought then that i would never trust her judgment again when it comes to freshness of food.

so every time my mother was preparing a dish for dinner (like say meatballs) i would check the use by date on the raw mince before she started and also i would chop some to see if it was grey inside. she had very severe fits of NT meltdowns about my distrust of her food. she cried at the table and told my father that i was "impossible" (whatever that meant but she was upset severely).

also at high class restaurants where we ate sometimes, and she was dressed very frilly and dad was dapper and i was in a little suit, i always smelled intensely every forkful of food i put in my mouth. it made the staff of the restaurant often come over and say "is the young monsieur dissatisfied with his food madaam" to my mother and she would have to apologize and say i was a strange boy.
then she got angry with me and demanded i eat like everyone else.
i could not satisfy her wishes.

that is the only thing i can think of that irritated my parents.

But at the end of the day, you're the one who's eating higher quality food than them, so I think you can consider that battle won!

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RandomKid
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09 Mar 2009, 11:27 am

Hand flapping.

Idk why. It is better than a meltdown.

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McTell
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09 Mar 2009, 1:57 pm

My parents don't like my solitary nature. They assume that it's impossible to be alone without being lonely, so they've tried and tried and, even now, still try to encourage me to socialise. They've got the best of intentions, but it's a bit wearisome.

Still, I prefer them being like that to how some parents can be, judging from this thread.

SoulcakeDuck
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09 Mar 2009, 3:55 pm

McTell wrote:

mhm, you're a lucky one, most parents just run you down and think you're clowning around and being silly. My mother would NEVER take me seriously and that made me beyond furious, enough to scare myself at some points.

As you grow older you learn how to cope with it. I never knew I had AS until a week ago. I strongly believe that if I would have been told I had AS from a early age I would constantly think of my issues. It is in a way better since I don't fear people I just dislike them. I would often just think my emotional changes came from "who I was as a person" and not sound, light, touch, human interaction. Today I know my problem but I learned from a early age to balance and control these surprise attacks.

By not knowing about As and accepting my flaws I could overcome my shyness and fobia of society and I hate self pity since I would reach a sickening self loathing point when depressed. One day I said f*** this and just went out with a positive attitude (still a bit jumpy but as long as you know it's your brain playing tricks you'll do fine) today I have great friends, I study and I have a girlfriend.
I'm very happy today.

- keep focused/ ignore people

- breathe

- GOLDEN RULE: don't worry to much, and laugh at it, I do.
(example: When getting a thought in your head that you are in danger,...you like to think you are, but! you're really not).

- SUNGLASSES!

- sometimes making yourself a tined bit mad helps.

Haha, I'll be damned if this thing brings me down and I love seeing the world our way.

you feel me?! :wink:

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McTell
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09 Mar 2009, 4:13 pm

SoulcakeDuck wrote:

McTell wrote:

I know this and am very thankful for it. When I was diagnosed, I was told that they (the psychiatric professionals that diagnosed me) do not usually meet people who are such "clear case(s)" of AS in adolescance without other issues such as depression. They surmised this was because of my parents.

I must say, though, that while I wrote "encourage" earlier, I should have used a stronger word for their encouragement isn't always particularly gentle.

FePixie
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09 Mar 2009, 4:31 pm

Jiggling my foot and fidgeting

Not speaking to their visitors

Not being able to wake up in the mornings, not wanting to go to bed at "bedtime", sneaking out the window and wandering the streets at night... (from age 7)

Smoking pot

Running away from a "good job in the city" to live alone in the bush for 13 years...

When i suggested (at 40yo) to my mother that I'm an aspie she said "well you WERE a difficult child" So i guess i also did other things that annoyed the hell out of them but I never noticed they did

:lol: :lol:

Fnord
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09 Mar 2009, 5:18 pm

zeldapsychology wrote:

Name the #1 behavior your parents hate you doing!! !

Mom has always been supportive, but the #1 think that my dad (deceased) hated me most for doing was thinking for myself, instead of buying into all of his racist and sexist crap.

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KateShroud
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09 Mar 2009, 9:13 pm

Spinning and rocking. Mom also likes to brag to her friends about how smart I am, but when I say I'm smart she hates it. She also gets on to me for being 'disrespectful' to my father. I do not lie, name call, or backstab, so how am I disrespectful? By failing to pretend that he's perfect and not just as in the wrong as me or any other human being? My younger brother and parents also hate it when I hang out with my older brother (who is also on the spectrum), and we talk about things that happened ten or fifteen years ago that no one else remembers that well and forget everything and everyone else. I really suck at pretending to be nnormal over there, and they hate it. But it's okay for my brother to act weird because he's "more severe". I guess he can just be himself, because everything he does must be adorable. He's Allen, and Allen can eat seventeen pieces of pizza and nine brownies at Cc's, and talk about his stereo system, and rock, and act like an eight-year-old, because they know he will never change. On the other hand, they think there's still hope for me to be normal one day because I'm so smart that I can do it if I just try harder. :roll: I think my mom was only half joking when she told me to ask my doctor, "Is she human yet?" Sorry for the rant. I had a very bad Christmas, and it still bothers me.

dalcassian
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09 Mar 2009, 10:33 pm

My parents did a great job of not freaking out about my unusual behaviours.

as a child-- scratching or biting myself until i bled

as an adolescent-- not having a girlfriend or wanting one or whatever.

as an adult-- not talking to people, calling, etc.

tweety_fan
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09 Mar 2009, 10:45 pm

younger days: they didn't like it when i took the blame for random bad things that happened eg when they were whining about something that happened at home, i would apologise for it and be all "its my fault" because i felt like that because it was bad, it was always my fault. i mostly did it when it wasn't my fault.
(has happened in recent times unfortunately too).

now: mum doesn't like it when wear certain things with certain things. eg she cracked it when i worse capri pants with shoes and black socks. (seriously it is just clothes!) but it guess she is just doing it to ensure that other people don't think badly of me due to what i wear.

Last edited by tweety_fan on 09 Mar 2009, 10:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

pensieve
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09 Mar 2009, 10:47 pm

mum doesn't like it when i make a joke.

b9
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10 Mar 2009, 8:39 am

gina-ghettoprincess wrote:

b9 wrote:

my parents were ....

But at the end of the day, you're the one who's eating higher quality food than them, so I think you can consider that battle won!

no it was no battle.
my parents never suffered any food poisoning from their eating habits and they were much more relaxed about the meals we ate than i was.
i perceive myself as the loser in a way.
my mother once said to me when i was fastidiously keeping all my meal ingredients separate "oh for gods sake mark!! don't you realize it all is going to be a big mush in your stomach after you eat it?"
that made sense to me and i wondered why i had a revulsion for mixed tastes.

but i looked at my mum's plate, and it had cauliflower and cheese and steak and squash on it. she had a strawberry milk she was going to drink after the meal.

i offered to take her steak and baby squash and cheese and cauliflower and strawberry milk into the kitchen and put it all in the blender and mix the lot together in a puree and bring it back to her and she declined.

i tried to say that her idea of my suggestion to blend her food up was equal to my idea of her suggestion that i should not worry about mixing foods that i eat.

we all have different idiosyncrasies and my mother did not share my food problem, but it was not a war.

no one was injured.

thanks for responding to me.

DeLoreanDude
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10 Mar 2009, 8:54 am

She hates me rocking for some reason. She never says she does but she comments on how she dislikes it and I can tell by her face that she really hates it.

cataspie
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10 Mar 2009, 9:32 am

DeLoreanDude wrote:

She hates me rocking for some reason. She never says she does but she comments on how she dislikes it and I can tell by her face that she really hates it.

Getting a rocking chair may solve having to put up with comments and looks from her.

DeLoreanDude
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10 Mar 2009, 10:49 am

cataspie wrote:

DeLoreanDude wrote:

She hates me rocking for some reason. She never says she does but she comments on how she dislikes it and I can tell by her face that she really hates it.

Getting a rocking chair may solve having to put up with comments and looks from her.

That's a good idea actually but I doubt my mum will buy me one and I ain't paying for it, I have a DeLorean to save up for.

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