Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. They always roll critical fail.

I wish I could move back to California.

Granted. Suddenly, the Arizone beachfront property advertisements stop lying and blatantly violate physics applied to geology.

I wish to have a cane.

Granted, but it becomes alive and starts to turn on you, whacking at you until you let it run free and find a nice female cane to marry and live with.

I wish that I knew every single word in my Biology textbook (in order of course).

Granted! But you lose ability to speak!

I wish to have more straps on my wheelchair


Me eating Pizza by Alin S, on Flickr

Yes I mean it.. mORE STRAPS.

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check out my website at http://www.alinssite.info and my forum at http://www.disabledplanet.alinssite.info

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

Granted but you have to exchange them for the ones you already have

I wish I could think of better answers

Granted. You are unable to apply them.

I wish to concentrate even more on my strengths and min-max my existence.

Granted. But your charisma goes to -10

I wish I could understand office politics.

Granted. You are unable to effect change without the will to do so.

I wish to cause a riot.

Granted. office politics are reduced to a level that you can understand. As a result organisations become much more efficient, consequently fewer workers are needed to do the same amount of work, and organisations lay off many workers, the redundant workers cant find new jobs due to the increased productivity of existing workers...etc...marking the begining of the worlds next financial crisis.

Granted. They turn on you.

I wish for a red wun.

You get a red wun. but it will change to pink every full moon. causing you much embarrassment.

I wish for a personal interview with Gorgio Tsukolous.

(Heeeheeheehee!)

Granted. But the two of you lack any common language.

I wish for a day off.

Granted. Then, you die of natural causes.

I wish to enroll at Unseen.

You are killed by a magical "accident" on your first day. You don't even get NOTIFIED by Death in advance because you weren't a real wizard yet.

I wish youtube had less annoying ads

Granted. Somehow, it shuts down due to insufficient funds from advertising.

I wish for several kilograms of magnetite.