Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, now everyone's posts look both identical and boring.

I wish I could turn off bad habits at will.

Granted, but you can't turn them on again, and you find that life is very boring without a few bad habits.

I wish for an escape clause.

Granted. The clause has riders that you must pay a severe penalty to escape.

I wish eye contact was considered rude and aggressive behavior by society.

granted Some one had a loud noise you we startled you looked some one in the eye, you get 6 months in jail for youre crime aganst humanity.
I wish I could shape shift at will.

Granted, you can take any form you want, as long as it is a snail.

I wish for a little red Corvette.

Granted : Prince sends you his hotwheels (and they're wrecked)

I wish I still had all my toys from childhood in mint condition.

Granted, but to keep them in mint condition, you have to be wrapped in plastic.

I wish for a new MacBook Air.

Granted. You will not have an internet connection to it.

I wish a pot of gold that won't harm me.

Granted, but it disappears immediately (although harmlessly).

I wish for a Chapstick that works.

Granted. But you have to have an alien worm implanted in your body before you get it.

I wish that a single ork warboss plus fifty orks appeared in Twilight land to pulverize the sparkly fanged idiots they call vampires.

Granted now the werewolf population explodes.

I wish people were smarter.

Granted. There are now two more smarter people, but they don't like you.

I wish for a bag of potato chips.

Granted. The bag is 10 tons and youi will be eating only potato chips from now on.

I wish for an unpolluted river.

Granted, but there 50,000 kids who can't find the toilet swimming in it.

I wish Republicans and Democrats could agree on a valid economic plan.

Granted, but it involves creating a new holocaust and cutting off support from the UN.


I wish that a giant troll face appeared in Alabama.