Corrupt A Wish

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Granted you're no longer addicted but you love it so much you spend twice as much time on here.

I wish I could go back in time and save my first girlfriend.

Granted, but you accidentally modify the past, so you never met her.

I wish for a perfectly clear picture of Bigfoot.

Granted but you don't know what to do with it.

I wish I was so rich that I would never be bothered by (lack) of money for the rest of my life.

Granted, but then you get bored of having too much money and then you spend it all, meaning you lose everything.

I wish that I had no fear.

Granted, you will now be picking tomatoes for the next 60 days.

I wish I didn't sweat both figuratively and physically.

Granted, you now cool down by turning green and pulsating

I wish to find the truth

Granted, but much of it is so horrifying and horrible that you die of anger and sadness within seconds.

I wish that racism was not related so often with sport.

Granted. Now it is related with everything else.

I wish you had an opposite gender clone.

Granted. She kills you.

I wish to clean my house.

Granted, but you become comatose in the process as it is such hard work.

I wish that I could invite all of my favourite famous people (including celebrities) round to my house for my next birthday party.

Granted. Their security won't let you in and now you're homeless.

I wish I could relax

Granted, but you relax so much you fall asleep for the next 168 hours and miss all of your appointments this week.

I wish there were real hobbits.

Granted. Unfortunately, they went extinct 13,000 years ago. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homo_floresiensis)

I wish my neighbors would stop doing their laundry on my laundry day.

Granted, they stop at 23.59.

I wish I had more time

Granted. Your residence is filled with old copies of Time Magazine.

I wish i could run without getting exhausted.