Corrupt A Wish

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Okay, I guess that wings could help the Titanic not to sink. But somehow, I doubt that's what you meant.

In any case, your wish for a flying carpet is easily granted. I come into your house, steal your carpet, and send it flying off a cliff. Go fetch!

I wish that Australia would win the Ashes cricket series. They're not off to a good start, though.

Granted, the Aussies win the ashes. However to achieve this miracle they have to cheat, by bribing umpires and by tampering with the ball. But once they are found out, they're stripped of their title and can't play test cricket for 5 years.

I wish I had a supermodel girlfriend.

Granted, she is not only gorgeous, but also intelligent and talented, unfortunately she turns into flowers if you ever touch.

I wish the raccoons would stay out of my garden.

Granted. Now they're trapped in your house.

I wish that everyone drove on the left-hand side of the road.

Granted. Pedestrians don't realize that you are driving on the other side of the road so they see you coming and you hit them.

I wish to safely fly to the planet Mars and back.

Granted. You safely fly to and from Mars. Unfortunately it takes 10,000 years and the planet earth is now empty of all human beings. The animals are mostly gone too, replaced by a new species called Fluffernutters. They look like giant marshmallows, and are extremely flatulent. Every time they let loose, it looks like a cloud of baby powder.

The good news is, they are delicious.

I wish I had a S'More.

i maded you a smore


but i ated it

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I wish I had a hug right now.

I forgive you.

no hugz?

I'm allergic to cats.

I wish Popsicle wasn't allergic to cats.

Granted, but to compensate she's now allergic to popsicles.

I wish I could be a pro footballer (soccer player).

Granted, but now you have nightmares about people wanting to kick you.

I wish I could cook like a Masterchef.

Granted, but your training includes working for Gordon Ramsay.

I wish I could eat any food I like, and as much as i want without getting fat.

Granted. You now have an intestinal tract full of parasites.

I wish Santa would put me on his "nice" list for a change.