Is it possible to restart?

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I don't mean in starting from birth all over again because that is impossible. It's hard for me to explain but it involves catching up and learning things even if you missed out on them in your developmental years.

I still live at home with my mother, I only work part time, I don't have any special talents, I failed college, my social life is pretty much nonexistent, and I am completely isolated from the dating scene. I had a painful childhood growing up thanks to overprotective parents, an oppressive culture (Bible Belt), a mean older brother, bullying at school, and people shoving their religion down my throat. I didn't learn proper socialization and was not encouraged to be my own person but to be 'average'.

It brings up a lot of emotional pain to write all this so I have to cut it short. But is there a way for things to get better?

I believe so. Some say that autistic individuals are better than most people with mimicry. Why not try to mimic the life you wish you had all along? It would probably be a little hit-and-miss at first, but, in a short time, you would find the activities and personality your have always wanted. Simply try one, then another, and another. Keep what works, and ignore what didn't work. In fact, try some activities that you doubt, but might like to experience for its own sake.

Auntie Mame said: "Life's a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!"

Yes. The older you get, the harder it is since it requires reverting engrained habits, but change is always possible.

Yes, it's possible to make changes that improve your life.
I would pick out one thing that I really want to change and start going in that direction.

I understand what you mean about talking about yourself causing emotional pain.

However, the more information we know, the better advice we can give you. So little by little, you can maybe share more and thereby receive more.

I agree with what the above people wrote, there is hope for things to get better. You should be pleased with yourself that you are able to work part-time; many people on this site cannot do that.

It feels like most people in their 20's already have their lives figured out. They've found their niche, they have or have had a relationship, and they know what their future will be. I am almost 30 and I still haven't found my niche, I am isolated from the dating game, and my future looks bleaker with each passing year.

It is possible, but the hardest part can be the fact that it requires you to get used to being outside of your comfort zone.

The only reason I didn't fail out of college was because I was offered a chance to take a leave of absence since they knew it was related to mental health issues. Not long after that, my parents kicked me out for being gay. I had to wait an additional year to re-enroll because I wouldn't have been able to afford it otherwise (age-based US federal student aid guidelines). I was working part-time, couldn't find a full-time job, and my transportation was completely dependent on my parents' good will (i.e., they owned the car I drove and my job wasn't on the bus line). I felt stuck and depressed with no way out.

What worked for me was picking one very important goal or milestone and doing at least one thing every day towards that goal. In my case, it was going back to college. I broke down the things that needed to happen for that to happen (e.g., get accepted, find an apartment, have enough money to move) and then the steps that I knew I needed to take to make each one of those things happen.

After I made my list, I tackled one thing on that list every day and added things as necessary. As I evolved and made progress, so did the list. Even if all I did was make a phone call, something I hate doing, I didn't beat myself up because I was one more step ahead than I had been the previous day. I both hate and am terrified of making phone calls, but I probably made more phone calls the year I was working on re-enrollment than I ever had before.

^^^Yes, this is the way to get where you want in life.
You just have to start with one thing you want, OP.

Oh, good lord, no! You're expressing very normal feelings. I study autistic adults and the 20s seem to be the hardest time of one's life. Some people still live at home at your age and others are already out and married. But even people who seem to have it together are likely having some of these same bleak failure feelings that you are. There's probably a reason for it. It gives us all a kick in the pants to get going on the things we wanted to do but haven't done yet.

It may not seem like it, but you've been doing important things in your 20s. Whatever you did in college was valuable experience. Your next go round will be successful because of the dry run you already had. You've been honing your social skills during these past years as a young adult. You had to do that or you wouldn't be able to be in a relationship with a person suited to you or get into a career that you like.

Just do some thinking and see what you would like to get back in the saddle with. I would suggest school or getting out more. You know, don't try everything at once. The rest will follow.

Marknis, you don't seem very prideful, that's one less roadblock in the way to changing yourself. At the same time, I don't think you should feel so ashamed that you don't think you deserve to become the person you want to be. I became a gym rat 10 years ago and what I liked about it was that I felt like I was being someone different (I've done a lot of crazy things to escape being myself). 4 years ago, I got into math and it felt similar to the gym thing.

There are really two things that motivate people towards their goals, moving away from something bad, or towards something good. You seem to have the former, and that's enough to get started. Do you have any changes in mind?

Muscles are over-rated, exercise is about expending your physical energy. Feeling exhausted from a workout was always the best part. Gyms can be spendy and inconvenient though, biking is pretty good, but the first couple of days were hell (it's the seat).

You're dissatisfied right now, why not be dissatisfied and uncomfortable?

What about taking some walks? That takes care of both getting out and improving your health.

I do want to second the gym idea. When I was a young person I was going through a hard time and going to the gym regularly helped me quite a bit. I'd tell myself that I'm just going in to do X, Y, Z and then I can leave. I'd schedule something nice to do on the way out. I know this sounds gross but what I would do is get fried chicken in a drive through on the way out. Surprisingly, I ended up staying longer each time than I thought I would, because it ended up being kinda fun, and then I wouldn't eat as much chicken as I thought I would. I got in great shape and felt better.

If you like books or magazines, you could go to one of those big book stores with the coffee and snacks and sit around. You may end up stumbling upon a new interest or find a new friend.

As to school, do you have one of those concentrated trade schools or community colleges where you are? Where you can finish early because the classes are non-traditional? Those tend to not be clique-ish, and frankly have a higher concentration of aspies, so they are aspie-friendly. And you finish faster so then it's not long before you're through it and on to a job. They usually have them for computer jobs, medical jobs, mechanics, and then for other things if you look.