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gee_dee
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19 Apr 2017, 5:11 am

Over the past couple of years or so I've noticed my tolerance levels for things markedly decreasing, and now really small things can tip me over the edge.

I've had an upstairs neighbour for the past six years who used to make noise intermittently, such as a lot of thumping and creaking in the middle of the night, which I didn't like but gradually managed to tune out. Now I think they might have retired or something, because they are now in the flat all day every day and the creaking and thumping is now virtually non-stop and can last for literally any length of time, from minutes to hours or even days. I even hear rumbling sounds, like they're rolling balls around the floor or something. I never even hear music or the TV, it's always just thump-thump-thumping and occasionally shouting down the phone. It's just so weird and it's really getting to me. It's like the guy is forcing me to be aware of his existence literally every moment of the day, and because I work from home I feel like I can get nothing done because I'm so wound up about it now.

I know I could wear headphones and I sometimes do, but I'd literally have to wear headphones all the time inside my own home. Something inside me is getting really angry and resentful of their presence and the likelihood that this will be the way things are for the foreseeable future, or unless I move out. A face to face confrontation is out of the question, and anyway they're not even technically doing anything wrong, just living VERY LOUDLY. It could be that the floorboards are just creaky but that doesn't matter to me right now, the constant persistent thumping, and being continually reminded that SOMEONE IS ALWAYS RIGHT ABOVE ME is driving me insane.

I'm actually seriously looking into moving house because of this one thing.



C2V
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21 Apr 2017, 5:21 am

Uggggh I sympathize.
Many autistics are super sensitive to noise however.
I had an upstairs neighbour once who turned the radio on and sang at the top of her lungs constantly.
She did not have a bad voice, and if it was occasional I think people would have tolerated it, but it was all the time and loud. She had been told nicely that the radio and the noise was bothering people, but she continued. She was also a very attention-seeking woman and liked to show off, so that may have been part of it.
Looks like the same with you. If it was just occasional banging and crashing you get over it, but it's the constant noise which drives anyone nuts. I too ended up having to wear earplugs in the flat because I couldn't stand her noise, but it gets stupid.
I have misophonia issues so perhaps you do? I cannot stand mouth-related noise. It's a TINY thing to anyone else but I can't tolerate it. I have someone who gets in my car and immediately starts sucking their teeth, licking their lips, smacking, just generally making horrible spitty noises and I can't take it. Also others in the house routinely get up at night, drink water even though they have it in their own rooms, gulp loudly and then sigh even louder after each sip, and I have to leave the room and can't listen.
That was a bit of a rant. But yeah I can understand wanting to move because of a noise-related issue that would seem nonsense to anyone else. Do you have a manager of premises? If you don't want to confront them, maybe a talk to the manager about noise could help mediate. That or just ask if they could put a rug down when you see them - it doesn't necessarily have to be a nasty conflict.


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gee_dee
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23 Apr 2017, 2:12 pm

I've always been very sensitive to specific noises and yeah I'm the same with "mouth stuff" too. That sigh people make after taking a drink is intolerable :?

There's no manager or landlord for this building, I'm pretty sure everyone owns their property outright so no mediation is possible. I'd be tempted to ask someone I know to have a word with them for me but I'm afraid this would come across as cowardly, and it was bad enough having to knock on their door when they damaged my ceiling with leaking water and I had to ask them to turn it off (twice since I've lived here) so I'd be worried I'm just that constantly complaining neighbour from downstairs and that they'll think I just have it in for them. Everyone in the building tends to keep to themselves so approaching them is worse (if only marginally so) than putting up with the noise...

It's probably high time I moved somewhere different anyway :lol:



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02 Jun 2017, 10:55 pm

gee_dee wrote:
Over the past couple of years or so I've noticed my tolerance levels for things markedly decreasing, and now really small things can tip me over the edge.

I've had an upstairs neighbour for the past six years who used to make noise intermittently, such as a lot of thumping and creaking in the middle of the night, which I didn't like but gradually managed to tune out. Now I think they might have retired or something, because they are now in the flat all day every day and the creaking and thumping is now virtually non-stop and can last for literally any length of time, from minutes to hours or even days. I even hear rumbling sounds, like they're rolling balls around the floor or something. I never even hear music or the TV, it's always just thump-thump-thumping and occasionally shouting down the phone. It's just so weird and it's really getting to me. It's like the guy is forcing me to be aware of his existence literally every moment of the day, and because I work from home I feel like I can get nothing done because I'm so wound up about it now.

I know I could wear headphones and I sometimes do, but I'd literally have to wear headphones all the time inside my own home. Something inside me is getting really angry and resentful of their presence and the likelihood that this will be the way things are for the foreseeable future, or unless I move out. A face to face confrontation is out of the question, and anyway they're not even technically doing anything wrong, just living VERY LOUDLY. It could be that the floorboards are just creaky but that doesn't matter to me right now, the constant persistent thumping, and being continually reminded that SOMEONE IS ALWAYS RIGHT ABOVE ME is driving me insane.

I'm actually seriously looking into moving house because of this one thing.


Sometimes hormonal changes can decrease a person's tolerance to things that annoy or upset them, and hormone replacement therapy can sometimes help. It might be a good idea to discuss this with your doctor.



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05 Jun 2017, 10:18 pm

Ugh-mouth noises! I can't stand when people smack their lips when they eat, lick their fingers or slurp.



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05 Jun 2017, 10:46 pm

gee_dee wrote:
It's probably high time I moved somewhere different anyway :lol:

Yes, I think that sounds best. My wife and I used to have some noisy neighbors above us and we ultimately solved that problem by telling the landlord we would leave if he did not get rid of them...and then we eventually just rented the entire duplex for ourselves. No more apartment-type living for us!


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leejosepho
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05 Jun 2017, 10:50 pm

IstominFan wrote:
Ugh-mouth noises! I can't stand when people smack their lips when they eat, lick their fingers or slurp.

Just reading about it here makes me cringe. My father used to smack us for making any kind of slurping sound or whatever while eating or drinking, and yet he was one of the noisiest, most-obnoxious people I have ever sat with at a table.


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07 Jun 2017, 7:41 pm

C2V wrote:
I cannot stand mouth-related noise. It's a TINY thing to anyone else but I can't tolerate it. I have someone who gets in my car and immediately starts sucking their teeth, licking their lips, smacking, just generally making horrible spitty noises and I can't take it. Also others in the house routinely get up at night, drink water even though they have it in their own rooms, gulp loudly and then sigh even louder after each sip, and I have to leave the room and can't listen.


That sounds like hell on earth. Sorry you have to deal with that.


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esoterica181
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25 Jun 2017, 12:06 pm

I wonder if there is anything else that has changed for you over the past few months or years or since the noise has started bothering you. Anything else bothering you that might compound the noise?

I have the same problem with people who get too close to me in public, at the grocery store, on the sidewalk. I think they're doing it intentionally, to claim their space. I feel cramped if I'm doing something I don't like such as buying paper towels. If I'm doing something I like such as buying brownie mix, it's a lot easier to tolerate other people waiting in line.



sleepingpancake
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26 Jun 2017, 8:26 pm

even the smallest stuff always hits my nerves......guess im better off alone


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03 Jul 2017, 7:06 am

Yes, I am doing well with the practical side of my "Grumpy Old Man" course :D

If fatigue has accumulated then I find tolerance starts dropping significantly



Victor1985
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19 Jul 2017, 2:08 pm

I'm hypersensitive to noises when I'm trying to sleep; the clock ticking, the distant hum of traffic. The thing I use is blue tack, I shove it in my ears. Its better than any earplug I've ever tried. I'll get irritable, I'll start getting very short tempered, but if I eat it puts me in a good mood, like a baby.


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24 Jul 2017, 8:54 pm

Just reading about it here makes me cringe. My father used to smack us for making any kind of slurping sound or whatever while eating or drinking, and yet he was one of the noisiest, most-obnoxious people I have ever sat with at a table.[/quote]
_________________________________________________________________________________________

that sounds so hypocritical.

but, that was in the past. the social standards, at that time, at that place, are different than the social standards here and now.



HyperX
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24 Jul 2017, 9:21 pm

I can relate to what you're saying. I can't handle those sorts of noises either. or any kind of intrusive sound.

I had a neighbor that played loud music every night after he got home from work for hours on end. and on weekends it would go on continuously, then stop, and just when i thought it was over and i would start to relax again, the music would start again. all i could hear was resonating bass in my house and in my head. i couldn't handle it. i was getting angry all the time, it made me get irritated at other things that i shouldn't. felt like i was loosing my mind. it made me want to leave my own house, but then i was faced with the idea of being out in public somewhere and that was even worse.

After i took as much as i could bare, I ended up moving house all the way to the other side of the state. I'm now living in the mountains where it's much more peaceful.



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25 Jul 2017, 8:10 pm

HyperX wrote:
I can relate to what you're saying. I can't handle those sorts of noises either. or any kind of intrusive sound.

I had a neighbor that played loud music every night after he got home from work for hours on end. and on weekends it would go on continuously, then stop, and just when i thought it was over and i would start to relax again, the music would start again. all i could hear was resonating bass in my house and in my head. i couldn't handle it. i was getting angry all the time, it made me get irritated at other things that i shouldn't. felt like i was loosing my mind. it made me want to leave my own house, but then i was faced with the idea of being out in public somewhere and that was even worse.

After i took as much as i could bare, I ended up moving house all the way to the other side of the state. I'm now living in the mountains where it's much more peaceful.

____________________________________________________________________________

yeah i know huh. that is so annoying.

the neighbor's right to enjoy loud music was more important than your right not to have to listen to said music.

that gets on my nerves too. when i go to the Home Depot bathroom, someone often comes in playing music. and i am afraid to ask him to turn it off. b/c afraid he might rape me. or that he might get angry. in any event i ain't got the authority to make him turn it off. :roll: anyways though, although i ain't telepathic or psychic, i get the impression that the chances that he would get angry at me are much higher than the chances of him turning it off.

so then, more than once, i ended up getting a headache and leaving the bathroom early. prematurely.



HyperX
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25 Jul 2017, 9:49 pm

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
HyperX wrote:
I can relate to what you're saying. I can't handle those sorts of noises either. or any kind of intrusive sound.

I had a neighbor that played loud music every night after he got home from work for hours on end. and on weekends it would go on continuously, then stop, and just when i thought it was over and i would start to relax again, the music would start again. all i could hear was resonating bass in my house and in my head. i couldn't handle it. i was getting angry all the time, it made me get irritated at other things that i shouldn't. felt like i was loosing my mind. it made me want to leave my own house, but then i was faced with the idea of being out in public somewhere and that was even worse.

After i took as much as i could bare, I ended up moving house all the way to the other side of the state. I'm now living in the mountains where it's much more peaceful.

____________________________________________________________________________

yeah i know huh. that is so annoying.

the neighbor's right to enjoy loud music was more important than your right not to have to listen to said music.

that gets on my nerves too. when i go to the Home Depot bathroom, someone often comes in playing music. and i am afraid to ask him to turn it off. b/c afraid he might rape me. or that he might get angry. in any event i ain't got the authority to make him turn it off. :roll: anyways though, although i ain't telepathic or psychic, i get the impression that the chances that he would get angry at me are much higher than the chances of him turning it off.

so then, more than once, i ended up getting a headache and leaving the bathroom early. prematurely.




wow that sucks.

I don't understand what it is with people who play music like that. I understand they have a right to listen to it, i also understand i have a right not to hear it. i understand if i have a problem with it it's 'my problem' but why are they so inconsiderate about others? it has nothing to do with empathy and more to do with common sense.
It's almost as if they have such a need to 'drown out' their internal dialogue wit music that they forget all sense of the fact they're forcing other people to hear it too. also reminds me of the whole "i like this so everyone else must too" attitude. has a hint of megalomania about it.

I suppose, if i do my best to look on the bright side, it's made me analyze my idea of empathy and how it works.
such a psychologically torcherous way of learning a lesson though. :cry: