Reconciling logic and emotion

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Hi folks,

First things first: I'm new here and only had a diagnosis for a couple of weeks, so please bear with me as there's a lot I don't know!

I was wondering how everyone reconciles the logical and emotional aspects of autism. In a lot of ways I find I'm more rational/logical than the people around me when I'm processing information, but then something unexpected happens (like a train gets cancelled) and suddenly I'm crying. I can force myself to minimise the *expression* of this if I need to, but I still feel it, and it seems from reading around that this is not unique to me and is actually an autistic trait. The number of times my emotions and my logic are out of alignment feels quite high, though. I get upset about things like changes to routine, but I still know while I'm feeling it that my feelings are irrational and I wish I didn't have to feel it. Similarly if I'm really happy/proud about something, I get a disconnect, like when I recently ran my first marathon and the little logic-voice was telling me that I don't need to be so happy, it wasn't really important. I would really like to hear about others' experiences with this, and how you manage it.

Thanks in advance

Rach

hi rach, welcome to the spectrum!

i'm not sure if it makes sense to try and reconcile logic and emotion, as that would take a logical approach and logic can't help much with matters that don't pertain to it. so i guess that's how i deal with it, just by accepting that i can't.

so much help i am.

i am interested to see what some wiser members may have to say regarding the topic.

Well, the whole point, so-to-speak, with an ASD, is that most of our everything, is out of alignment----dichotomies, ABOUND. We're "smart", and at the same time, "stupid"; we can take a really long time, sometimes, to figure things out / make a decision, etc., but, at the same time, when there's an emergency, we're, often, the ONLY one, to have a level head, and can make decisions, in a SNAP----and, we can be logical and illogical (emotional), at the SAME time.

The only thing that can be done about it, IMO, is learning / practicing coping mechanisms / "tricks"-of-the-trade, so-to-speak, and not being so hard on ourselves, when these things arise----and, like Seaweed said (and what I do, too), just accepting that we can't always do anything about it / change it (how we are / how we react to things).

I can TOTALLY understand crying when a train gets cancelled, for instance----cuz it takes us so long / is alot of work for us, to change gears (meaning, you were in the gear to board the train, at-that-time; then you had to change to the gear that allows you to be okay with boarding the train, at a different time). As for completing your first marathon----congratulations, BTW!----no, it's not important, in relation to the state of the world, for instance; but, it IS important to YOU, personally, cuz you worked really hard to achieve it, and I feel you're allowed a little "happy/proud". Now, if you go-on being happy/proud, and telling everybody about it, every single day, for, say, a MONTH, THEN, I feel you would need to get over yourself----but, say, for the week that it first happens, I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

Welcome to WP!! Here's to hoping you find everything you need to find-out about, here!!

You just taught me something new about myself. things that i go through but couldn't recognize. Thanks

While that may come from the logical voice, to me it sounds more like the twisted criticizing side of the logic coin.

Admittedly, it could be true in a hard-nosed strictly literal sense that you don't "need" to be that happy - but it sure does boost a person's spirits to have a big accomplishment to celebrate, and then to do the celebrating.
Let that energy out, let it color your day.
Sometimes the spirit, the heart, the psyche, need things which are not "logical".
Yet are indeed legitimately needed.
And do have positive outcomes.

Sometimes, if not most times, logic and emotion could be dealing with different aspects of a thing.
Logic = what is the data that is being presented.
Emotion = what is the data's impact on me.

It happened to be yesterday. I was due to attend an interview with a well known autism charity who incidentally knows I am autistic. The cancelled less than 24 hours before. I am 54 and cried like a baby and took myself to bed. I had waited for 3 weeks for the interview, now I have to wait another 3 weeks, its unbearable. I cry all the time, most days to be honest. Now I have to come clean, before I correctly diagnosed myself I had worked with and trained the staff who worked with kids with classic autism for almost 20 years. I had, like so many of us absolutely taken as almost the law autism theory, Theory of mind development and our alleged like of empathy a examples, like we don't emotions in the same was NT's do, its just not true is it. I experience totally overwhelming super emotions, I cry very, very easily and always have. These emotions can grab hold me in seconds and will totally take me over. Before I self referred I considered myself to be a wimp, in fact because of this and my blunt and brutally honest approach to communication I hated myself. I am learning to accept myself but its not easy, I have had a lot of practice hating myself.