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Ilikemusic
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18 May 2018, 2:44 pm

Im 18 and Im an adult but people seem to still treat me like a fricking child. Sure, I might not have great social skills and I dont drive but Im still an adult.

I can do my own laundry, wash dishes, have a summer job, cook simple things and take care of plants and cats as well as dogs.

I just require some assistance. I stim and I have meltdowns but I dont have that many meltdowns anymore. I know how to deal with overload now.


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Kraichgauer
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19 May 2018, 4:29 am

In all honesty, I'm not sure if many 18 year olds are treated as adults in our society.


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ASPartOfMe
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19 May 2018, 1:28 pm

Kraichgauer wrote:
In all honesty, I'm not sure if many 18 year olds are treated as adults in our society.

^^^^
This


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kraftiekortie
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19 May 2018, 1:32 pm

I think you’re doing great, I like music.

People should treat you like they want to be treated,



Ilikemusic
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19 May 2018, 2:11 pm

Yes, I agree


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goldfish21
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01 Jun 2018, 5:52 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I think you’re doing great, I like music.

People should treat you like they want to be treated,


Maybe.. but reality is that they will treat you how you behave or how you appear to them. ASD folks have an emotional maturity of 2/3rds their chronological age, so, if they're treating you like you're 12.. well, maybe it's because your interests, behaviours, and mannerisms are more of those of someone younger than 18 years of age? Combine that with appearance, too.. they'll treat you like you're younger than you are if you happen to Look younger than you are.


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Ilikemusic
Deinonychus
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01 Jun 2018, 6:33 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
I think you’re doing great, I like music.

People should treat you like they want to be treated,


Maybe.. but reality is that they will treat you how you behave or how you appear to them. ASD folks have an emotional maturity of 2/3rds their chronological age, so, if they're treating you like you're 12.. well, maybe it's because your interests, behaviours, and mannerisms are more of those of someone younger than 18 years of age? Combine that with appearance, too.. they'll treat you like you're younger than you are if you happen to Look younger than you are.


Yeah, I guess I do act younger than my age. I like cats and puzzles. I also like coloring. I like music though. I think I dress alright. I wear a lot of sweatshirts, converse, nike air force ones, overshirts, jeans, baggy shirts and hats, as well as old cartoon shirts. I dont know how an 18 year old should dress. Im 5'8 which is a bit short but not that short. I dont talk much and I flap my hands when excited(many people consider this childish)


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02 Jun 2018, 12:11 pm

Most people stopped treating me like a child when I started acting like an adult: I left my father's house, put myself through university, earned an engineering degree, got a job, got married and raised a family, stayed out of trouble, paid my bills, bought and sold a few houses, and took responsibility for my own actions. :D

Of course, my mom, siblings, and other 'blood' relatives still think of me as a confused and socially awkward 14-year old kid. :roll:


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goldfish21
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02 Jun 2018, 4:33 pm

Fnord wrote:
Most people stopped treating me like a child when I started acting like an adult: I left my father's house, put myself through university, earned an engineering degree, got a job, got married and raised a family, stayed out of trouble, paid my bills, bought and sold a few houses, and took responsibility for my own actions. :D

Of course, my mom, siblings, and other 'blood' relatives still think of me as a confused and socially awkward 14-year old kid. :roll:


Who cares what they think? :? Waste of energy thinking about it at all.

Image


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Fnord
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02 Jun 2018, 5:24 pm

Exactly.

That's why I live on the west coast, and they all live east of the Mississippi.


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Kraichgauer
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02 Jun 2018, 8:49 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Most people stopped treating me like a child when I started acting like an adult: I left my father's house, put myself through university, earned an engineering degree, got a job, got married and raised a family, stayed out of trouble, paid my bills, bought and sold a few houses, and took responsibility for my own actions. :D

Of course, my mom, siblings, and other 'blood' relatives still think of me as a confused and socially awkward 14-year old kid. :roll:


Who cares what they think? :? Waste of energy thinking about it at all.

Image


Wise words indeed!


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green0star
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03 Jun 2018, 8:13 am

I don't know any 18 year olds that are seen as adults. All 18 years means if that you can vote. Most people find adulthood to be by the time you turn 21, and some older adults feel that you're not truly mature until age 25. Wait a few years and see if there's any change, then get back to us (;



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03 Jun 2018, 12:42 pm

Developmentally speaking, most people (in the US, don't know about other cultures) do not reach mature adulthood until 25-30 years old. Eighteen is just a legal age. In the US it means you are old enough to die in one of our wars. Seriously. The reason the military takes 18 year olds is because they are still malleable enough to follow orders.

As for families, what I have seen is that many parents NEVER stop treating their "children" as children. And I have observed siblings in mature middle years behave like six-year-olds to each other. I think families can get "stuck" in their family relationships.

In the West, we no longer have rites of passage where an individual moves from child to adult. It is a long, long transition process and much confusion and adjustment on all sides.


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07 Jun 2018, 7:31 am

You can't control what other people think or do, you can only change your own perspectives. You likely have an entire life of 60 or 70 years ahead of you to be an adult, no need to rush and grow up quickly. Enjoy your youth right now. I myself didn't like it much when responsibilities just piled onto me when I grew up. :o


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07 Jun 2018, 10:12 am

It might be the label or it might be that parents often have trouble dealing with their offspring growing up. I have seen certain parents treat their 40-year-old NT, married, good job with children offspring like they are still children themselves.

You are learning how to cope and will continue to do so. There will be frustrating and depressing setbacks but when you are 28 you should be further along than now. As you gain some skills you will think of yourself more as an adult. When that happens others will "read" that and treat you more like an adult.


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