How Do You Get People to Understand Sensory Sensitivities?

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mntn13
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28 Mar 2012, 10:33 am

I don't try to explain it unless absolutely necessary because most people have looked at me like I'm nuts, or recommend counseling. ( :x )

I make metaphors, (not as good, but kinda like your good 'bees' one catlady2323), and often they make my kids laugh and understand a bit. Way back when I was a little kid my mom would brush my always tangled hair and it felt as though she was using a gravel rake on my scalp it hurt so much. When I'd cry, she'd brush harder and tell me I was being silly. I told my kids this when they were little and wanted to brush my long hair, and then they laughed at the image and were quite gentle. I've not been able to make them understand about how loud a sound a door makes when opened or closed suddenly. My startle - reflex is always turned up to high, so, many little sounds set it off. i thought I was the only one like this.

Bright light - for some reason especially in spring - gives me an eye-ache and makes me feel as though I can't think, because it is assaulting my eyes. To me it seems like everything is louder when everything is bright. I like having windows, but have to keep curtains closed when sunshine is coming in or if it's glaring off of surfaces out there.

Being in a crowded theatre or restaurant is terrible. I can go in, but I have to go right out again. A quiet restaurant though, like at times where the place isn't busy, can be fine. It depends on how many people are there.
I enjoy very much quiet calming sounds, like small fountains, brooks, soft wind ... etc. :)



Cobalt87
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29 Mar 2012, 3:58 pm

If people are inconsiderate of your needs, drop them from your life. If you do want to keep them in your life, you will need to be assertive when you tell them it hurts. No offense, but your mother seems be somewhat of a jerk. My mother is an inconsiderate, Narcissistic, hateful, alcoholic. I disowned her about a year and a half ago for the crap she put me through through as a child. I don't have a relationship with my dad since I left. Best thing I ever did. However, if this is not your situation (or one similar to it), I may be misjudging your mother and others who belittle your concerns. Perhaps a more moderate action may help you, like spending less time with people who don't understand, or printing out documentation to support your sensory issues. I wish you the best of luck.







ValentineWiggin wrote:
Last week, my mother criticized me for having to leave an extremely-crowded restaurant with a screaming baby where we were waiting for a table. She likewise insists on opening the curtains in my bedroom at their house, even after I close them, to let the sun come blazing in everywhere. Their house, yes. But still.

My boyfriend, likewise, seems oblivious to how abrasive I find overhead lighting, and even slightly annoyed when I ask him to turn them off.

How do I get them to understand that those types of things physically hurt me?
I can't overcome the sense that they, especially my mother, will think I'm making it up for attention since I've been dxed Aspie,
whereas in reality I've always been this way, and having the label of Autism (as silly as it sounds) was what gave me "permission" to acknowledge my differences as legitimate, and ask for understanding and some slight accommodations for them.

This might be more suited to the General Autism Discussion forum,
but I put it here because I think it's relevant-
whether Autistic or no, it seems to me that allowances are more often made for children's comfort ("my daughter says her sweater is too scratchy", etc) than for adults with similar issues- my perception is we're just considered picky or bothersome.



RobotGreenAlien2
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08 May 2012, 10:01 pm

I attack them with a belt sander.



InLight
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06 Aug 2012, 11:48 pm

Wow, I cannot relate more. It is not usually light as I like lots of light. Noise is the worst. I feel selfish because my music up is ok. But unknown music that is unpredictable distracts me so much I cannot converse.



nolan1971
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07 Aug 2012, 11:26 am

One thing I can't stand is if the volume on the scanner at a supermarket is too high!
The beep resonates my ear drum and gives me a bad headache.
I usually have to ask them to turn it down.
I think a good way to show NT's what it is like is to go through our experience with a bad hangover!! !! !



Nymeria8
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07 Aug 2012, 5:46 pm

I have yet to find a way to accurately describe this to NTs. Not to mention that they don't realize we deal with it everyday and all day long as a side note to whatever else we are supposed to be doing. Light, sound, and smell can be painful and unexpected touch may give me a heart attack jsut doesn't seem to convey it completely.


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invisiblesilent
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07 Aug 2012, 11:06 pm

My primary sensory problem is to sound. Loud places with lots of random noises are horrible for me. Thankfully my close family understand and don't create an issue out of me not liking to go to certain places or needing to leave at the drop of a hat. Most other people don't really accept or understand it and my repeated refusals to, for example, go out to a busy club or pub for somebody's birthday has lost me a few friends. I've also been called a p**** and various other things because of this problem. Regrettably I've not been able to find a way to adequately communicate how much terror and yea, I suppose, pain this can cause me. I figure those people who are not willing to take at face value what I say about these things are probably not worth my time. Not that that provides a lot of comfort when I end up sitting at home more often than not as a result of this problem and others :/



MrCrazyfrog
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15 Nov 2012, 2:50 am

Ahoy! I am realizing just how many issues I have. Light, Crowds, Noise, just about all of the most common I think. I thought it was just me, I wore sunglasses inside, use white noise generators to help when back ground noise kept me from sleep, Not knowing why they bothered me until being diagnosed with aspie's. These still help at times but I also have found that a low dose of Diazipan helps keep me from getting overloaded as easily. Low dose from a Psychiatrist and it helps. I take them as needed and it took me a little while to know when it was needed to keep from being to late, but it does help at times even after I start stiming from being overloaded. I don't like taking Rx but it works well enough for me to get over it. It may help some others as well. Just a thought and talk to your Dr first. Cheer's!



JBO
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15 Nov 2012, 3:03 am

I carry a couple pairs of foam earplugs in a ziplock in my back pocket at all times.

Also I sleep with a sleep mask and white noise thing. If there's really annoying noise and I'm trying to sleep, I put in foam earplugs, then put on noise canceling headphones and blast white noise through them with an MP3 player.



fukkatsu
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15 Nov 2012, 10:56 am

This is probably one of my biggest challenges but I have learned to be pretty diplomatic about it.

One of the things I can't take is loud music or a loud TV. My husband LOVES these two things. He used to get mad at me when I would ask him to turn stuff down but then I got creative. I know he hates the sounds of crinkling plastic bags so what I did was I explained the way a crinkling plastic bag irritates him is the way loud sounds irritate me but amplified. He got it. It was awesome. Now if he wants to listen to super loud music he will put on headphones or close his door and all is good. If I am sleeping I put on a fan so the white noise blocks out most sounds and both of us are happy!



weeOne
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17 Nov 2012, 3:20 pm

DC wrote:
Strap two smoke alarms to their head so they understand what sensory overload feels like.

Hahahaha! (reminds me of Vonnegut's "Harrison Bergeron")

I just went on a big rant about this very thing--people who don't get, don't want to get, or reject AS--and I just have to say thank you for bringing this up.