I fought becoming autonomous through my 20s. I am 44 at present. I feared the load on my shoulders that would come with independence. However, what ultimately pushed me forward was the misery of my life at each given stage. Desperately wanting a safe haven but not having the means to create one was the driver for me. There was also the disapproval of society in general; society generally gave me a very unpleasant kick in the crack at specific milestones of my life. I headed out of the home at a late stage (24 yrs approximately). I feared getting married because of the marriage ceremonials. Yes, fear of a one-day ceremony put me off marriage for years. I stayed in student-hood till the age of 27 because I was scared of entering the working world. Basically, I feared change all the way through. As a result I have been dragged into new things in life. My wife drags me out regularly. My kids drag me out every day.
I think what has made me self sufficient is that I always threw myself with all my AS idiosyncrasies into work. I am a workaholic. Whenever I had a relationship problem, I generally chucked myself into study or work to blot out the pain. As a result I have had a number of work-related burnout collapses. However, employers forgive a lot if you work very hard and produce tangible results. So yes, I am self sufficient. Ironically, now that I am comfortable (sort of) in the working world, I don't think I will ever retire. They will have to drag me out of the workplace kicking and screaming. The office is my institution. I wonder sometimes if I am insane, and that what I imagine as the workplace is in fact an institution for mad people. I guess I'll never know for sure.
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On a clear day you can see forever