Pros and Cons of being diagnosed Aspie over age 40?

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Magna
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21 Jun 2018, 4:09 pm

Greetings All:

Technically this is my very first post. I'll swing over to the introduction post area but thought I'd start here.

I'm over 40 male and recently self-diagnosed. I've been doing a lot of research and I'm textbook across the board. I took an online test which, if I recall correctly, stated that any score over thirty something meant probable Aspie and I scored over fifty on the test.

I do not have a desire to seek a formal diagnosis for multiple reasons. I've made my way through the maze of life successfully enough at this age to be able to live among NT's.

The only pros I can see in seeking a formal Dx would be a sense of personal relief ("I knew it!") and I think it would perhaps help on some level with my wife ("See, there are reasons I act the way I act!").

Other than that, I have no desire to seek any medication, therapy, assistance, or anything else a mental health professional would offer me.

Are the members of this forum supportive of someone like me or are self/un-diagnosed Aspies considered a bit less welcome?



ASPartOfMe
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21 Jun 2018, 6:33 pm

Magna wrote:
Greetings All:

Technically this is my very first post. I'll swing over to the introduction post area but thought I'd start here.

I'm over 40 male and recently self-diagnosed. I've been doing a lot of research and I'm textbook across the board. I took an online test which, if I recall correctly, stated that any score over thirty something meant probable Aspie and I scored over fifty on the test.

I do not have a desire to seek a formal diagnosis for multiple reasons. I've made my way through the maze of life successfully enough at this age to be able to live among NT's.

The only pros I can see in seeking a formal Dx would be a sense of personal relief ("I knew it!") and I think it would perhaps help on some level with my wife ("See, there are reasons I act the way I act!").

Other than that, I have no desire to seek any medication, therapy, assistance, or anything else a mental health professional would offer me.

Are the members of this forum supportive of someone like me or are self/un-diagnosed Aspies considered a bit less welcome?


All people including NT’s are welcome here.

There are some members that do not think self diagnosis is valid or that unless one has a proffessional diagnosis one should not call themselves autistic. But that is usually on general principle, it is not personal.

There are many self diagnosed people here that do call themselves aspies and there are professionally diagnosed people here that do think self diagnosis is valid.


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Magna
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21 Jun 2018, 9:44 pm

Thank you. Your response is much appreciated.



rowan_nichol
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24 Jun 2018, 6:25 am

welcome Magna,

There are more than a few people who in fact started out "Self Diagnosed" and who later went for an assessment and their self diagnosis was proved to accurate.

When I had my assessment one of the biggest feelings was satisfaction that the researching and reflection I had done which suggested I was on the spectrum was shown to have been sound.



Slug on a Bike
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24 Jun 2018, 10:24 am

I got a pro diagnosis (HFA)
two weeks ago.
I'm 59.
It's been a mental rollercoaster since then.

Hooray,
I'm a good one of these,
not a failing NT.

Weird,
I've got a whole life of work-arounds
that now are now starting to reveal
like those hidden picture puzzles
from old Highlights Magazine.

Rats,
Lots of the things
I hate about myself
probably won't change.

(first WP post)



Sahn
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24 Jun 2018, 11:08 am

Slug on a Bike wrote:
I got a pro diagnosis (HFA)
two weeks ago.
I'm 59.
It's been a mental rollercoaster since then.

Hooray,
I'm a good one of these,
not a failing NT.

Weird,
I've got a whole life of work-arounds
that now are now starting to reveal
like those hidden picture puzzles
from old Highlights Magazine.

Rats,
Lots of the things
I hate about myself
probably won't change.

(first WP post)

Congratulations slug on a bike! Hey, what kind of bike you got then?



jimmy m
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04 Jul 2018, 12:13 pm

I am a self diagnosed Aspie at age 69. It explains to me much of my unique life. I thought I was a one of a kind. Now I know I am part of a tribe.


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breaks0
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08 Jul 2018, 12:40 pm

I'm in my mid-40s and it stinks getting diagnosed so late, as I was only about 2 years ago. I have the full official diagnosis as being on the spectrum and while I'll try not to go too negative in this post, the main reason it's helped is getting me access to public assistance which I seem to need. When you lack much of a personal support system at this age at least in the US, it becomes very tough to keep going sometimes both emotionally and practically. People in the US just really don't care and it often leads at least me to feeling worthless. That's normal.

I don't know what it's like in other societies but I'd have to say this one is one of the worst rich countries to be in this situation in. There are services, tests, books, support systems and just general understanding from people and professionals esp in the health care field when the subject/person with the disorder is a kid or adolescent. Those things don't exist for adults, or at least it doesn't feel that way anyway. Either that or it's assumed that by reaching this age now if you aren't institutionalized that you've figured life out, when actually I haven't, I just haven't particularly dealing w/neurotypical society which most of the time frankly is pretty dog eat dog in nature.

I have a hard time thinking of any "pros" to balance out the cons frankly. Maybe others can provide some.



beady
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10 Jul 2018, 10:32 pm

Welcome Magna! and Slug on a Bike!

Glad you found your way here. To me the more I know and understand about myself then the more I can stop berating myself for my differences. This is me. I am not going to be "cured" or magically evolve into an NT. It was a relief.

Knowing, for me, was the first step toward accepting myself and loving myself.



kraftiekortie
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11 Jul 2018, 7:40 pm

I hope I evolve into being a Wolfman......



Magna
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11 Jul 2018, 9:22 pm

Would you settle for being Manimal?



kraftiekortie
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11 Jul 2018, 9:43 pm

I guess that would work.....



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12 Jul 2018, 10:26 am

Magna wrote:
Pros and Cons of being diagnosed Aspie over age 40?
PRO: Not having been brainwashed into having a victim's mentality -- I am not a victim, I am a survivor.

CON: Being bullied and ridiculed as a child and teen without knowing why until decades later (I was socially awkward, physically clumsy, unathletic and "bookish").


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Sahn
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13 Jul 2018, 3:15 am

I will be going to my third assessment in two weeks time, I will be 46. Now that the process is underway I'm hoping to get a diagnoses, I'll be at a loss if I don't.



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21 Jul 2018, 9:10 pm

I was diagnosed professionally at age 47.
I can echo a lot of the same emotions that other members had, like "I KNEW it!" or "suddenly all the weirdness makes perfect sense".

I too, felt like I was alone in all of this and now I feel like I'm part of a tribe.
The mental workarounds that I'd struggled with all along suddenly fell into place and I gained a better understanding of why my mind sought them out in the first place.

Mostly, it's been a sense of relief, because I now understand that while MY "normal" might not be like everyone else's in the NT world, it IS MY "normal" and that's good enough.

What a long strange trip it's been. :D

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Slug on a Bike
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23 Jul 2018, 5:05 pm

Diagnosis provides me
a better foundation
for self care.

For instance,
instead of saying
I prefer time alone,
I can honestly say
I need time alone.