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Robert312
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22 Sep 2017, 11:31 am

I recently had a friendship with a girl end. This was not because I am on the spectrum. It was because she had issues. I was the well adjusted one in the relationship who knew when there was trouble. I tried to have a dialogue with her but she responded with aggression. She was the one who thought that everything revolved around her. I was the one with enough confidence in myself to know that she was toxic and couldn't change.


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theladyautist
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05 Oct 2017, 5:36 pm

I use to feel that way, years and years ago. And the truth is, I use to wear the Be Proud attitude like it was a shield that could keep me safe from the world. It didn't, and I grew up.

It is true that every hurtle and obstacle in the world gets thrown in our general direction. It is true that people do not treat us the same as everyone else. These days its not the Autism that makes me proud, its my own tenancity that does. Because no matter what happens, I always am able to find a way to come out ok. I might never be a millionare, but due to the unique way I see the world, I am able to find solutions to my issues that often nuerotypicals in the same situation do not. I'll give an example.

A couple years back I was in a bad situation with an ex and his sister. I had made the terrible mistake of moving in with them and their mother and when the mother died from cancer, things went down hill, and FAST!! ! I won't get into any details but long story short, I ended back up at my mom's. Now I could have got upset, gave up, gotten mad that my only options were WalMart and McDonalds. But I didn't. Instead I helped around the house every day, a way for me to feel like I was contributing to the household. I applied everyday for jobs and was unafraid to ask for help.

When I got a job at a local Call Center, I worked hard and put in lots of overtime, and built a solid history of doing well, building my resume. I got a better job at another Call Center, where I met a roommate and my fiance! Now I am saving money to enter into a college program to get my Pharmacy Tech license. Because I was willing to be calm, turn off the depression long enough to think through possible solutions, and apply them. Use that ability that we all have to focus on details, focus on the issue instead of being depressed about it.

Now my brother is 2 years older than me, in a similar situation. He has been at my moms home now for 7 years, and due to having so much trouble with saving money, has fallen to heavy drinking and self loathing. He is neurotypical. Perhaps the real issue is that to often many of us, like I did when I was young just view ourselves as Autistic, and forget to identify ourselves as human. I am proud of what I have accomplished, what I will continue to accomplish, and even if I fall again, I just look at it as another lesson. It's all in your point of view.



xatrix26
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17 Oct 2017, 5:11 am

I'm certainly not proud to be an Aspie but I am eager be more honest with people that I am Autistic because I've spent most of my life hiding that fact as well as the many stimming sessions that I've had.

I can do most things myself although I have a great deal of difficulty with workplace social situations. Actually, all social situations are a tremendous challenge for me. I'm incontinent due to medical and psychological reasons, toileting is another tremendous problem I've had since I was a kid. Public bathrooms used to give me severe anxiety but I no longer have to worry about them anymore now that I have been using adult diapers for several years now. I'm 42 now and I still feel like a child but with an IQ of 160ish.

I've been kicked out of preschool due to frustration, aggression and over-stimulation. I've also been kicked out of a private high school twice, for both grade 10 and grade 11. In adult life I've been fired 9 times from my jobs, been suspended twice, and I've quit my jobs (usually before I thought I would get fired) more then 30 times. Recently, I physically attacked a co-worker because he was making fun of me and I was fired. I react quite violently to bullying. Due to all of those socially challenging situations, I had a heart attack when I was 34.

I am looking at getting an Autism support dog to help me manage unpredictable social situations but I'm unsure of how to handle this in a workplace situation. I may have to kibosh that whole idea because of my job. I have also thought about committing myself to a mental health hospital because I feel that I can no longer support myself reliably. My anxiety and depression have catapulted over the past year and I feel like I can barely hang on to my sanity. I have struggled with self-harm, severe aggression and suicidal thoughts for more than 30 years.

A very late diagnosis is most likely the culprit for the severity of my situation. But at least I'm not hiding any of this anymore and that's a load of stress off me. I'm sure I've reduced my meltdowns quite a bit since I chose not to hide being Autistic anymore.


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blast335
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17 Oct 2017, 11:22 am

I think "Proud" isn't the right word to use. I think that most of aren't proud to be autistic or an aspie, we're just not ashamed of it.

We don't let it dictate our lives, we just live our lives as we see fit, and it just happens that that way fits the diagnosis of autism.

But then again, maybe that's only how I feel.

I can't speak on behalf of such a large, diverse group.


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alex
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17 Oct 2017, 11:48 am

I'm proud of who I am. Sure, I'd probably have a 9-5 job and live a more "normal" life if I were not on the spectrum. Things would probably be easier in the sense that my life would be more predictable. But I have had incredible experiences and made amazing friends because of who I am. If I hadn't ever been diagnosed, I wouldn't have made Wrong Planet and wouldn't be writing this right now.


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shortfatbalduglyman
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17 Oct 2017, 1:04 pm

"proud" might not be the correct word choice.

However, nobody decides to be AS or NT. So why and how could someone be "proud" of being AS?

Maybe.... It's because so. Many NTs totally misunderstand and villify the AS. That some autistics (such as myself) feel :cry: ashamed :oops: of our autism symptoms....

So. The antidote to :D shame :wink: :. Pride



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17 Oct 2017, 7:06 pm

Robert312 wrote:
I was the one with enough confidence in myself to know that she was toxic and couldn't change.
Alex wrote:
If I hadn't ever been diagnosed, I wouldn't have made Wrong Planet and wouldn't be writing this right now..


I'm not sure how any of this helps. How can anyone say that they wouldn't spend time with someone, when they don't even know them each as individuals. As for creating a world wonder that was here, founder or no founder doesn't necessarily mean you can either sink or swim. Maybe, appreciation adds more value when it is founded in trustworthy individuals who can be redeemed on their merits, not altogether past achievements. Also, I assumed it was writer and co founder, not purely 'Founder'. I suppose we can all bask in equal merit, when the right integration and end consumer product has been achieved..

Tip- You support the individual, not the founding cause.



shortfatbalduglyman
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17 Oct 2017, 8:46 pm

according to Dark Phantom's definition, i am a "loser". in that i am unemployed long term. when i had jobs, they were just minimum wage. and got fired. got a drivers license. and drive pretty badly. zero friends. in the past, they either grew apart, or dumped me. 34 years old and no date or spouse. BA, cognitive science, ucsd. clinical depression diagnosis. prozac and ativan.

if given the opportunity, i would cure autism too. but, thus far, no opportunity.

if there were a cure for autism, it would cost a lot of $$. a cure, like pills? shots? occupational therapy? job counseling? psychotherapy? the current counselor (masters degree, psychology), told me the insurance reimburses her 75 bucks per session. and that is just talking. talking is so fleety. ephemeral. anyone can talk. writing prescriptions takes a lot more education. and it takes a lot more $$ to hire someone that has a legal right to write prescriptions.

if there were a free cure, then what? that would not solve all the emotional turmoil, caused from autism symptoms in the first 34 years.

the dictionary does not define the word "loser" the same way the OP does. however, anyone can define anything in any way, because it is legal. and if it were illegal, then what? call 911? take out a civil lawsuit? political protest? peer pressure?...........



bethannny
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17 Oct 2017, 10:32 pm

The ''pride'' aspect is a way to stand up to stigma. We need to care less of what people think of us, most NT's don't even like us so why should we use their own standards to judge ourselves? The ''Loser'' label is thrown back in our faces by NT society with NT expectations.

Autistic people have more on our plate and we do things differently most of the time.



shortfatbalduglyman
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18 Oct 2017, 1:47 pm

"unique" has a positive connotation

"Normal" has a positive connotation too

"Abnormal" has a negative connotation

"Weird" has a negative connotation

Everyone is "unique". It is not the more unique, the better

Especially when being "unique" causes so much inconvenience

Euphemism



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18 Oct 2017, 2:24 pm

I certainly feel that feeling sorry for yourself is self-defeating. I don't regret being Aspie; to me it's neither good or bad, it is just the hand I was dealt and I feel an obligation to make the best of it. I also feel you should be who you are and should not let others define what milestones you should have reached. It reminds of the story about birds and an owl. The birds were talking among themselves and said how fxxxed the owl was. The owl is not like us; he flys and hunts at night and he sleeps all day. The question is should the owl change who he is to try and conform to how the birds think he should be or just be himself?



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23 Oct 2017, 6:15 pm

I wonder, if a lie in itself is a lie, then thinking outside of the box can be a truthful anecdotal pie when you think about all the causes underlying our human existence. We may be proven to others as natures sorry attempt at hypocrisy but you can't class your rules the same way a freelance writer can drop a few home made policies, on the bias attempt of winning a home crowd. The world is a future compass of mass possibilities, online or otherwise, and unless someone can organise their appeal on old forgotten soil, then the path they tread will remain alien.

Nobody would want to reverse their achievements in poor earnest, just to obey a disgruntled jury but, you have to be prepared to front the witness box if you come face to face with potential danger and harm to life.

If fate was prepared for the kinds of emotional turmoil that one has to live with to shut out the 'noise' of the outside world, then distraction would be a myth.
I hope the bickering authorities take kindly to any further opinions or announcements that may hinder or praise progress at least here, or some of us may be asked to resume our potential losses or take our personal belongings elsewhere. I never signed the treaty when I joined, so the sudden feeling that there's a calm before the storm, sends a chill threading through my veins.

Most autistics are accused of passing their account over as a fictitious tale, when languages get provoked in exactly the same way. Acceptance, is like honouring a lost cause and religion is like savouring a bible,- without a holy word to thank for it.
So the supporting framework either lies with supporting the individual, or is drowned out by the cause.



Hyeokgeose
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24 Oct 2017, 2:46 am

Hi,

I see this thread is a little old; but, here I go. Personally, I don't feel proud of having ASD; but, rather, I accept myself as who I am, look at my errors, and try to fix them and better myself. In doing so, by making myself a better person and improving my identity, I am able to feel better about myself as a whole (I don't want to use the word proud since I'm not necessarily proud -- perhaps that's me being self-conscious). I accept it as me, not as a label, rather, I see myself as Jared P, and I am glad to be that person/me since I am me.

Regards,
Jared


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B19
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24 Oct 2017, 2:58 am

Gay Pride was a public demonstration of the refutation of shame imposed on gay people by the straight world. Autistic Pride advocacy aims for the same refutation as I understand it, it's not about us as individuals but the realities of discrimination, othering and stigmatisation as a group. The shaming of AS people needs to stop. When a group is systematically shamed in such a wholesale way, some of the victims internalise the shaming and then shame themselves. This leads to grim outcomes.

That's the bigger picture as far as I can see.



HughDYork
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24 Oct 2017, 3:40 am

I think NTs are miserable. I consider them as inferiours/ they are sub humans. I dont see them as human beings even.
Normies have no souls. :D
So im proud. As for doubtfull success. Define the word. As for my self i already have everething i need. Almost.
I CAN be sociable - VERY EASY. I know it i did. But i dont want it :roll:



The Abdominal Snowman
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24 Oct 2017, 5:06 am

Quote:
can anyone be proud of being autistic? Because I would cure it if given the opportunity.

As would I. *
I don't consider myself 'autism positive' or 'autism negative'.
I didn't choose autism. None of us did.
But my philosophy on this is that if all life ever hands you are lemons then, quite obviously, the only logical course of action is to try and turn those lemons into copious amounts of lemonade.
Because that's really all you CAN do.

* There has been some research on using the 'club drug' MDMA (aka Molly, Ecstasy, Empathy) to treat autism in adults.
The results seem promising (And why wouldn't it? I mean the drug basically gives NTs Williams Syndrome **).
They say the changes to the brain can last for months.
If so then could we be, for the first time ever, looking at an actual viable solution?
I'd like to think so but maybe that's just a little NT in me.

** Btw, ever wonder what would happen if all the popular kids back in high school looked like all the unpopular ones?
Well, you don't have to wonder. Just get on YouTube and search Williams Syndrome.
Loads of videos about this brain condition that is virtually 180 degree opposite of autism.
You're sure to find watching the vids both fascinating and uplifting.
Heh, uplifting because they, unintentionally, do a great job of undermining that meme, that is always in the background of our day to day lives, that outgoing, or 'positive' brains are somehow intrinsically better wired or superior in some way to our own all in spite of everything we learn, do, or accomplish better than those f****ers ever will (and ALL of you know exactly what I'm talking about).
Nothing kills that idea quite like seeing their kind trapped inside bodies like that. Ha Ha Ha