21 Aug 2017, 8:23 pm
We need like a warning when we Google something LOL. It could be something like, "Don't read this article unless you want it to be all you think about for the next 3 months" Actually, come to this k of it, that would make me want to read it more
. You can't win with this stupid disorder!Do you think your ASD has any relevance to your researching , or is it just OCD that makes you do this ?
StampySquiddyFan
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21 Aug 2017, 8:25 pm
Thought I'd throw an OCD question out there. One of the OCD things I struggle with the most in everyday life is reading. I was curious if others experienced the same. I was hyperlexic as a child and taught myself to read at age 4. All throughout my childhood, up until my OCD became severe with pure "O" obsessions at age 11 1/2, I could read through any kind of noise, any kind of situation, and I read really fast. But ever since around 11 1/2, I now read quite slowly and have to either have white noise or complete silence. Otherwise, I will read and re-read over and over again. If I don't understand every single word, I have to read the sentence again and again until I "get" it.
The really weird thing is that, when I'm reading something for fun that I don't think "matters", like a magazine or a comic book, I can revert back to my childhood reading state and can read very fast and not have to repeat. But the minute I think what I'm reading "matters" (which is most of the time, because I usually read science textbooks), the OCD-type reading starts where I have to re-read everything. I guess it's an underlying obsession of not remembering or understanding everything. I do have a compulsive need to "know." But it's annoying, and I was wondering if anybody else experienced it. Luckily, it has gotten a lot better since I started on Anafranil, because I used to always have songs stuck in my head in the background, so when I would read, I'd "hear" both my inner reading voice AND the words of the song that was stuck in my head. It was awful! It was like my brain had two "planes."
I've never experienced that worry before, but I was hyperlexic like you! Another person here who is an exact copy of me (sensory issues, OCD, etc.!). I get songs stuck in my head as part of OCD sometimes- I try so hard to make them stop and that just makes them worse! I reread stuff on schizophrenia sometimes since I want to make sure I didn't miss any vital information that may point to me going psychotic.
In regards to the Hollow Mask Illusion/schizophrenia, In passed a few months ago, but I'm very anxious as to whether I'll still be able to see it "normally" now, so there is no way I'm taking that again unless I'm with my psychologist lol!
How are you today, by the way?
StampySquiddyFan
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21 Aug 2017, 8:30 pm
We need like a warning when we Google something LOL. It could be something like, "Don't read this article unless you want it to be all you think about for the next 3 months" Actually, come to this k of it, that would make me want to read it more
. You can't win with this stupid disorder!Do you think your ASD has any relevance to your researching , or is it just OCD that makes you do this ?
If I'm totally honest with you, schizophrenia actually used to be a special interest of mine. I don't consider it part of my special interest "history" now because the scariest thing is the fact that I "wanted" to have it. This is back when I knew very little about schizophrenia, by the way. ASD definitely plays into me obsessively googling about whether I have a certain symptom of autism or not, though. In 7th grade (end of last year), I obsessed a lot over whether my interests were "special interests" so much that obsessing over special interests became my special interest. That was pretty much ASD, although it came close to OCD at times. My obsessive mindset is what causes hypochondria, in my opinion, though.
21 Aug 2017, 8:36 pm
We need like a warning when we Google something LOL. It could be something like, "Don't read this article unless you want it to be all you think about for the next 3 months" Actually, come to this k of it, that would make me want to read it more
. You can't win with this stupid disorder!Do you think your ASD has any relevance to your researching , or is it just OCD that makes you do this ?
If I'm totally honest with you, schizophrenia actually used to be a special interest of mine. I don't consider it part of my special interest "history" now because the scariest thing is the fact that I "wanted" to have it. This is back when I knew very little about schizophrenia, by the way. ASD definitely plays into me obsessively googling about whether I have a certain symptom of autism or not, though. In 7th grade (end of last year), I obsessed a lot over whether my interests were "special interests" so much that obsessing over special interests became my special interest. That was pretty much ASD, although it came close to OCD at times. My obsessive mindset is what causes hypochondria, in my opinion, though.
That's what I thought , it sounds like a double edged sword for you and was wondering if it was the same for me ( wont know till my assessment though )
21 Aug 2017, 8:37 pm
Due to my special interest in psychosis, I'd actually like to see what the "hollow mask" looks like to a psychotic person. But yes, I strongly, strongly advise you, Stampy, to stray far away from that video! I find it quite fascinating that the topic of your main obsession is one of my main special interests. I'm the most interested in psychotic mania in bipolar disorder, but I do have a general interest in psychosis overall, particularly with psychosis and language.
I know that the obsessional slowness with the reading must be somewhat common, because it's on the Y-BOCS, but I personally haven't really met anybody who has it as severe as I do. The one good thing is that I have a form of photographic memory for what I read, so spending so much time on one page probably helps keep the information in my memory. I've always had a photographic memory for what I read, though, even before this OC reading thing started.
I am fine today, thanks for asking. You?
StampySquiddyFan
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21 Aug 2017, 8:53 pm
Thanks- I want to stay as far away from the illusion as possible! I can't even get over the fact that most people can watch the illusion without having a panic attack ! If I wasn't so deathly afraid of psychosis, then it might be somewhat interesting to read about, but definitely not a special interest for me (I'm just saying that because of anxiety, by the way ). I switch every few months between schizophrenia, some personality disorder, or bipolar disorder . When I'm afraid of something else, all the symptoms of schizophrenia I have (like paranoid thoughts/weird feelings) magically go away . I haven't worried about anything else for a while though- just like last summer.
Yeah, it's probably pretty common, but sadly there aren't any other people here that I know of with that type of OCD. I can't even believe there is another person with "Schiz OCD" on here! Then again, that actually seems pretty common too- my psychologist says at least 1/3 of his OCD patients have bad worries about that.
I have a good memory for what I read as well- it's helped me a lot in school. I'm so sorry you have to struggle with this OCD obsession about what you read, though. That must be tough to deal with.
I'm doing better ever since Ferris passed the Hollow Mask Illusion lol . My summer camp I go to didn't go so well, and I am having intrusive thoughts about memories from a bad point in my life because of it. I did find out my teachers today, though- one of my classes is in the cafeteria! I guess they ran out of rooms !
21 Aug 2017, 9:03 pm
StampySquiddyFan
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21 Aug 2017, 9:09 pm
I see my brain as almost like two parts- the logical, rational side and the constantly obsessive anxious side. Sometimes I almost have two INTERNAL (anxiety again) voices. One part of me looks at things and thinks about them in a rational way, while the other panics and goes into fight-or-flight mode. Too bad the panic overshadows the logic......
StampySquiddyFan
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21 Aug 2017, 9:17 pm
Hey Ferris, guess who's catching up to your post count .
21 Aug 2017, 9:23 pm
. I'm going to bed in a bit so you should of overtaken me by the time on I get back her tomorrow night
StampySquiddyFan
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21 Aug 2017, 9:34 pm
. I'm going to bed in a bit so you should of overtaken me by the time on I get back her tomorrow night When you wake up, I'll probably have like 5,000 posts lol!
21 Aug 2017, 9:36 pm
. I'm going to bed in a bit so you should of overtaken me by the time on I get back her tomorrow night When you wake up, I'll probably have like 5,000 posts lol!I've told you a million times before do not exaggerate
StampySquiddyFan
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21 Aug 2017, 9:42 pm
. I'm going to bed in a bit so you should of overtaken me by the time on I get back her tomorrow night When you wake up, I'll probably have like 5,000 posts lol!I've told you a million times before do not exaggerate
That one took me a few seconds
!
StampySquiddyFan
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21 Aug 2017, 10:35 pm
I have a problem (not a real one lol!). I can't beat Ferris's post count because hardly anybody's here posting except me!
22 Aug 2017, 5:20 am
. I'm going to bed in a bit so you should of overtaken me by the time on I get back her tomorrow night When you wake up, I'll probably have like 5,000 posts lol!I've told you a million times before do not exaggerate
That one took me a few seconds
!But you did get it , that's all that counts
22 Aug 2017, 5:22 am
It's not a competition and doesn't reflect anything except maybe you have an inability to shut up about things your interested in
and that's not a bad thing in my book either before you misinterpret my comment
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