What's the deal with the asexual autistic stereotype?

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Lost_dragon
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10 Oct 2017, 6:23 pm

Despite the fact that asexuals actually make up quite a small amount of the population (a minority in a minority if you will) it seems to be common for people to associate autism with asexuality, but why is this? :?

Now, although I am aware that not everyone on the autism spectrum is asexual, it still seems like a common enough assumption, to the point where quizzes like the "Aspie quiz" have questions like "Are you asexual?".

So... what's the deal?


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Enceladus
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10 Oct 2017, 6:46 pm

For many Aspies it's hard getting to know girls or getting into relationships, for some it's very hard just to talk to girls. It doesn't mean they are asexual, just really really nervous and unsure how to approach girls. Most people would just assume an Aspie like that is asexual, especially if they are getting a bit old. I know a lot of very nice gentle guys like that I would think would be perfect in relationship.

For me it has never been been that difficult getting girls attention or interacting with them. But I grew up among lots girls and many of them gave some very clear confirmations they liked me. I had a lot of practice and time to learn.



shortfatbalduglyman
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11 Oct 2017, 1:15 pm

Enceladus

When I was 25, someone (about 14) asked if I had a girlfriend. At the park

At the mall, a girl told me "you are cute". She was about 14 and I was 25

When I was 21 a 61 year old told me he had a crush on me.

When I was 18 a 17 year old wanted to be my boyfriend.

:D

Other than that nobody told me they had a crush on me

:cry:



Edna3362
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12 Oct 2017, 8:24 pm

People mistook asociality, social anxiety, disregard for the conventional (in terms of gender roles, concept of gender, and sexuality as whole), lack of appreciation towards certain concepts of maturity (mainly about sexualization and relationships), and delayed social/emotional development (which also accounts for being naïve and childish) for asexuality. :|

Not to mention the huge misconception about lacking empathy and not having emotions, therefore with the conclusions of having no sex drive. :evil: Just like with the stupid belief that autistics cannot be depressed or anxious.
Then other implications of being asexual with the misconceptions of not desiring romance and having relationships...


.. And I'm one of those asexuals, who happened to be apathetic towards romance and sex, who couldn't appreciate certain types of maturity and is somewhat socially and emotionally delayed.
My body doesn't feel 'it', and hence being asexual regardless how interested or desperate I may become, even if I were an overly feminine NT or a desperate aspie, there's no 'drive'. It's about what it felt, not what is done nor want.


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Autism alone, makes everything seem like a gamble.
To any human constantly perceives gamble, would mean prone to anxiety towards uncertainty. But being prone to the exposures of uncertainty doesn't mean always become nor would always stay anxious. Therefore, autism is NOT anxiety.
Autism AND anxiety, makes said constant constant uncertainty perceived into a high stake gamble.

And that, is the difference.

If there is no split between that; it would only mean ALL humans have anxiety. Only hidden and sheltered by certainty, apathy, or pleasure -- to be renamed it as simple as 'culture shock' or as fundamental as 'fear of unknown'.


RandomFox
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18 Oct 2017, 7:28 am

I'm not really sure why these two are combined. There must be some study about it, with proper statistical analysis. I'm an autistic asexual, but I have no idea how common it is in general. Is it more common in women maybe? I personally know 2 guys on the spectrum who are rather hypersexual.



Kiriae
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19 Oct 2017, 12:48 pm

Because we might seem not interested in having a relationship or actually not be interested in having one. Sexual thoughts and libido is something else - and they can be fulfilled without being shared with anybody.
There might also be problem with touch sensitivities - many autistic people don't like to be touched, at least by people we are not really close to - and being socially awkward doesn't go well with creating close relationships.

I wonder how to call myself. I believe I am hypersexual, my head is full of dirty thoughts and I like being erotic. But at the same time you might call me asexual because I just can't stand body fluids and smell of the other person. I love being touched but I dislike touching, especially when there is sweat, cum or saliva involved. It's a turn off. I wonder if my sensitivities are that bad, I am asexual or I am simply doing it with a wrong person(maybe it's the "chemistry" issue?).



League_Girl
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26 Oct 2017, 11:04 am

Enceladus wrote:
For many Aspies it's hard getting to know girls or getting into relationships, for some it's very hard just to talk to girls. It doesn't mean they are asexual, just really really nervous and unsure how to approach girls. Most people would just assume an Aspie like that is asexual, especially if they are getting a bit old. I know a lot of very nice gentle guys like that I would think would be perfect in relationship.

For me it has never been been that difficult getting girls attention or interacting with them. But I grew up among lots girls and many of them gave some very clear confirmations they liked me. I had a lot of practice and time to learn.



It could also do with sensory issues. They might find intimacy hard because of all that touching and issues with personal space and most people prefer to have sex naked and that can be hard for someone with tactile issues.

Plus I find lot of sex boring but that doesn't make me asexual.


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AngryAngryAngry
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07 Nov 2017, 9:48 am

I thought I was for a while, I considered it seriously, even recently.

Because I'm not overly sexual (I can be).
Many are quite focused on their interests and don't have time or energy for it.
It's a distraction, often unwanted.
I can have no sexual desire for a couple of weeks when intently focused on my special interest.
Though for a few days my special interest can be sex :tongue:


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green0star
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14 Dec 2017, 8:11 am

I actually am asexual and have only been in 3 relationships my whole life. From what I know most people aren't really aware of asexuality though and some are generally ignorant about autistic people as well.



Trogluddite
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14 Dec 2017, 11:28 am

I think it's just that when a person appears never to flirt or react to flirting (something which I have never been able to understand), people will be either too prejudiced or too embarrassed to ask about it, so they just assume whatever they think is most likely.

I don't know of any time that I've been assumed to be asexual, but there are many occasions I can think of when it has been assumed that I'm gay (I mean assumed in a non-judgmental way, not homophobic people saying it as a slur.) I haven't noticed that there's any different depending on the sexual identity of the person doing the assuming (again, disregarding people who I thought were trying to offend me.) But that's hardly a controlled experiment, as I may have been making my own assumptions about them!


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thewheel
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15 Dec 2017, 5:48 pm

Pretty sure I've read actual studies on this where they found high levels of self-reported asexuality, so perhaps it's not simply a stereotype.

I imagine though this could be dependant on so-called "functioning" levels.


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renaeden
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21 Jan 2018, 5:03 am

I'm asexual but I know some other autistics who are very, very sexual.

Plus there's some who have kids, are they asexual?



thewheel
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22 Jan 2018, 12:08 am

high levels =/= all


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22 Jan 2018, 5:24 pm

It might be an issue of correlation being mistaken for causation.

I have noticed that many asexual people can be a little nerdy... Some even exhibit autistic traits... maybe they think that asexualtiy correlates with autistic traits and as a result they assume that autistic people are asexual... however this definitely wouldn't be the case... there might be more of us in one subset of the sample than the population but that doesn't mean that everyone in the sample exhibits the attributes of the subset.


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wombashkaya.fukovchi
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26 Jan 2018, 2:31 pm

There is also a trend within society to regard ALL people with disabilities as asexual. That's why disabled toilets are always non-gendered.