I never dated anybody before, advice?

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LimboMan
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27 Feb 2017, 1:16 pm

I'm conscious about the fact I've never dated any woman before and I need advice.

Generally, what I need advice on is what traits, features or skills would I need to have, particularly as a adult male in order to be ready to enter in a romantic relationship. I know everyone's different, but I wonder if there's any general "must" rules or traits one should have before they think about trying to find a partner. I used to be a student but now my course is coming to a close I will have less opportunity to meet other students and the women I would likely meet would be professionals..

Just to throw a few things out there - does it matter I don't yet have a liveable income? I'm only 21. This is something I'm working on but it will take time. I guess this thing dosen't matter much for students but as I'm not really one anymore, I'm starting to feel pressure about what a girl expects in their date.

Or should I wait until I feel ready enough to have money to live away from home and get my own place? I don't know how I'd take someone home somewhere as I still live with parents.
I do not drive either, one because cost and two I struggled very much with the uncertainty and everything all at once when I had lessons and I am not interested putting myself through it anymore. I'm from the UK however and not driving isn't quite much a geographical issue here.

I dream a lot about being in a relationship because I've felt very little comfort in my life. I spend a lot of time on my interests but I would be happy to do them less to make a relationship work. I'm just so concerned about the practicalities and expectations a man must have my age I've felt left behind because my issues caused by ASD. And because I've never been in one before I don't know what to expect it just feels so daunting.

Any advice on this topic I'd be very thankful for.


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314pe
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28 Feb 2017, 5:21 am

An aspie can find a date without a good job and a car, but all of these decrease your chances. Try to improve yourself if you can.



Corny
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28 Feb 2017, 2:46 pm

My advice look for a girl that has some of the same interests as you. If she likes one or more of the same things than you that's the start. I don't mean all of the same interests. Just one. So you guys won't be complete opposites.



LimboMan
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Joined: 24 Feb 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 138
Location: England

28 Feb 2017, 4:57 pm

Hi, thanks for the replies. Yes having a shared interest will definitely lessen anxiety, especially in the early stages.
I am confident in myself when it comes to my interests and what I'm good at which mainly revolves around being inside, not outside, which is where relationships happen! I just have a lot of social anxiety that affects me. I also don't get on that well with people my age, so I don't have enough friendships to meet people through social circles, something which I know people do.


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Diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome (mildly)