It's complicated...

Post Reply New Topic

So I have been seeing this foreigner lady (the same woman who works as a private caregiver for elderly); so she is literally available only once or twice a month.

Every time we meet, we have a wild sex, does a free massage session to me lol (she's a licensed massage therapist too), have quick dinner togother and she goes back home (to her employer's nursing home in her case). We did this 3 times so far. There's very little time for her to do anything else.

As for the rest of days; things feel like LDR, we stay in touch constantly via the net; like on daily basis. We have things in common, like same taste in movies. We do care for each other.

She is not staying in the country for long though, she will go back to her home country as soon she finishes her contract.

There are imbalanced things tho:

- I keep the relationship discreet from my social/family circle (except few male friends), specially family, because... well.. a FWB relationship is not much socially accepted over here; any relationship with no clear "official" prospect such as engagement or marriage, is not much socially accepted either; and I wouldn't want some nosy aunt asking me "so when you two are gonna engage?" Hence why I put nothing about us on my fb, no pics of us, nothing.

-She doesn't put anything about us on her FB either too which is good, but she does put a photo of us together as her whatsapp profile pic :-/. Her sisters and her friends know about us. Apparently she is by far less discreet about it.

- She says she is aware of the temporary nature of the relationship; but when she got drunk once she went into depressed mode questioning me whether I wanna stay with her forever.

- I told her maybe it's better to end things now before she gets too attached; but she said she's happy in this relationship and I shouldn't worry what she said when was drunk. She says she is already in love with me; and she wants me to be only a "good memory" for her when she leaves back to her country

- She said I can keep dating others and seeking for someone for a more feasible relationship; but she removed her dating account where i met her. And she told all her prospect guys that she has a "boyfriend" now.
So basically she currently sees herself as exclusive to me.

Things seem to be .... very unfair for her. This may be leading her to a major heartbreak?

I am also attached to her but obviously not as much as her to me. I can't see our realationship to be feasible in the future.

I wonder if it's better to end it now.

Don't block yourself out, make time when you can.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

You're in your 30's. Why can't you commit to her?

You don't actually say what's so wrong about this person. It appears it is you who is keeping this as a temporary relationship even though she's given you the chance to date others while it is LDR.

^ nope, she loves the sex; a lot.
And this can hardly be faked.
She is the one who insisted having it.

@Spectrum; she is a single mom, she has daughters living there in her home country; even she said can't live here for too long.

I'd keep it the way it is.

I wouldn't quit my job and emigrate with her.

I'd continue to seek other people.

I'd create great memories for yourself, and for her.

She really helped me to overcome sexual issues (PE + ED sometimes) I had that I thought ar times that may be permanent.

It turned out they were just psychological/anxiety + lack of experience (i've lost my virginity at 30 and only had very few encounters ever since).

The ones before her weren't that understanding, and they made it worse, but this one has healed me - her food recommendations worked too. Yesterday we we performed as sex gods.

So you see....she is good for you.

Even if she splits, at least you have excellent memories of her.

I believe that relationships often run their course, anyway.

And....you can keep in contact, and she can be your chick when you get to Turkey.

My bad. I thought she was Turkish.

That goes for where she comes from, too. She can be your chick there.

She had tubal ligation years ago after her last child; so she's sterile currently.
But she told me if it was ever possible to have a baby from me, she would do it; even if she had to raise him/her alone

I found this so freaky and.... disturbing lol - for one, i am not thinking to have a child; especially "illegitimately" where I live; nor I would leave her/him away to grow fatherless like that even if I had one by accident.

It really made me uncomfortable- but she meant it as a compliment.