Have I exhausted all options?

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Well, interest is not the reason why I find the friend to partner transition improper. It has to do with getting attached in a romantic way, which for me happens with infatuation, something that won't happen with a close friend. So, I might very well find a girl I'm good friends with a suitable partner, but I don't find it satisfactory to build a relationship only on being friends and getting along. I require more than that.

One of my half-sisters told me she and her husband were friends first before they started dating.



My older brother seemed to get his girlfriends right off the bat but his relationships usually lead to break ups within months. I think his longest relationship lasted only little over a year.

For once I wholeheartedly agree with you.

Getting into relationships without dating or being friends first requires better coping mechanisms. If you select a partner you already know very well, and with matching interests, it will be easier to get along. Still, many NDs appear to be good at adapting their interests, even special interests, to a love interest, which means they don't need to have similar interests to begin with and thus can go straight into a relationship. Also, if you put down work on adapting to each other in the beginning, growing apart will be a minor problem, which in the friend-to-relationship context might be a major issue which occurs late because you don't need it in the beginning.

So, as with everything, there are pros and cons to being friends first.

BTW, another aspect of this adaptation process is that many NDs have very narrow and unusual interests, which very few potential partners share, which will make dating hard. In that case, it is much more functional to create new interests based on an actual love interest than adapting more common interests in hope of easier finding a partner.

My older brother's never had the shyness and anxiety issues that I struggle with. His outlook was that he could do whatever he wanted at the expense of other people's feelings. Sure, he's had more girlfriends than me but he's gone through many break ups, two cancelled marriages, and a divorce.

Oh? You might have a doctor take a look at that. Do you have any headaches, dizziness, nausea, light sensitivity, or ringing in the ears?

Partly why I brought up the psychosocial moratorium is because I've seen someone else mention missing out on it in his younger days because he suffered from social phobia and never had any friends. He didn't want to give up but it feels like you can't just say you can still learn social rules when you missed out on that particular social period.

Oh, ok. Study up on Erik Erikson's stages of psychosocial development. According to Erikson, the more pressure you have from parents to conform, the more you experience role confusion. This is Stage 5: Fidelity. The identity crisis experienced at this stage happens because you're stuck between everything you learned experienced as a child and what society expects you to be.

Erikson did not put firm age limits on the stages although psychologists have observed general upper and lower boundaries. They've found the stages to be fluid, and I suppose it's possible to revert back or skip ahead as you feel the need.

My parents did pressure me to conform but they didn't realize that the Bible Belt has changed a lot from the 60's. My grandmother also told me not to drink or smoke because it was "bad" but if I told someone I didn't do either of those things, I'd get weird looks.

tell me about it!! i just want to give up everything and just forget it, i feel like i just want to stop going out, close down dating profiles and be a hermit because there seems to be a lack of decent people worth dating , i have not clicked with anyone online i just think relationships are becoming a no go for me! i would really like to connect with someone within travelling distance to be honest, maybe i'm a romantic at heart but the whole dating scene is messed up nowadays!!

This.

I had to do that. My situation was a bit different, I did try dating some guys but nothing ever lasted. I won't go into all the details of why I think that is as that could derail this....but I did have to step back and take a break. And it did help.

Well then perhaps the therapy you're getting does not help. I admit I never had any real luck with CBT, which tends to be the most common for depression. For me I had to get trauma therapy, I mean it was to help me with PTSD, but even if you don't have PTSD it could still maybe help with setting you free from the past or at least something like that. Seriously though that helped me a lot more than CBT talk therapy.

Also of those questions I can only say I have a boyfriend and graduated high school, no college graduation, no career plan or path.

Yes you did.

Now press alt + F4.

The universe is literally made of options so I'd say you're probably fine.

Take a break from it, find something to do you're passionate about and try to find groups that share the same interest. Even if it is a 'Magic : The Gathering' related club (And yes, they do exist! What a surprising find), find something you can use to socialize with people, no matter how difficult the interactions might be. Don't look for a partner, because that never goes anywhere...

Let it happen naturally. The longer you search, the least you will find