Why do you think a relationship will make you happy?

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Closet Genious
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12 Aug 2017, 4:15 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Ah see now you've been with the wrong kind of women then. My friend that relates to these comics isn't at all materialistic. I've known her most of my life. She's more the outdoors type and she and her husband enjoy talking about interesting things and visiting interesting places.

There's the mundane everydayness to relationships too. I know it's not all like this every day, but I'm not ever going to be the pressuring someone to be a person they are not type of girlfriend, so won't have the same problems you did.

My cousin did a sweet thing for his girlfriend the other day and she posted it on facebook. My friend that I actually fancied a few years back, but who married someone else does post cute things on Instagram about their little outings too. I've got another couple of friends who post their outings as well. He does a menial job and she does odd jobs here and there and they are very happy. Some men are romantic and some women like that. Some women are not materialistic and as a couple she and her husband achieve a comfortable level of togetherness.

Relationships aren't all fighting and people telling each other they're not good enough.


I am willing to bet my custom built acoustic, that in all of these relationships you described, the men earn more than their partner, and of course they get no complaints then..

The common theme in all of what is deemed romantic in our society, is male sacrifice. The man has to sacrifice his possesions, time, money and sometimes his life, and it's simply what us men are supposed to do, without being allowed to ask any questions.

The sad thing is when it doesn't even work. I have had friends who sacrificed far more than I ever did, and their girls ended up cheating on the anyways... So much for romance.


That's a real shame. People can suck sometimes. I'm not going to deny that there are selfish women out there, that would be silly, but I do know some happy people, I also know some unhappy relationship people. I can understand why it is hard to trust. It's not like I'm so obsessed with a relationship that I haven't been discerning. I really really like that guy I met this year, but I was careful, I learned about him and realised that we are not compatible. I'm not bitter about it, we just move on and keep going.

The friend that loves the instagram account is earning more than her husband. He's trying to start his own business and it's a bit slow at the moment. She's the main breadwinner. It wprks for them. I spent some time with them last week and they were quite chipper.


Wait, back it up. You custom built and acoustic guitar?? From scratch or customised an existing guitar?


I'm gonna have to back out of my bet then..
No, I payed someone to, I don't know how to build guitars, only how to play them.



hurtloam
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12 Aug 2017, 4:52 pm

BTW none of us are denying that you guys have had some bad experiences in the past. We're not ignoring your stories. We hear you. You're not shouting into the wind.

We're just trying to be positive and look for the good rather than dwelling too much on things that have gone wrong or could go wrong.

That book I've been reading is about someone who got into a permanent relationship in her early 40s and she says after all the years of being told how difficult and how much hard work it would be she was surprised by how her husband (then boyfriend) slipped into a routine with each other. There wasn't too much compromise. She's heard similar things from others their age.

Again I'm too lazy to get up and go find the book to quote.


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RetroGamer87
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12 Aug 2017, 5:41 pm

Closet Genious wrote:
The common theme in all of what is deemed romantic in our society, is male sacrifice. The man has to sacrifice his possesions, time, money and sometimes his life, and it's simply what us men are supposed to do, without being allowed to ask any questions.

The sad thing is when it doesn't even work. I have had friends who sacrificed far more than I ever did, and their girls ended up cheating on the anyways... So much for romance.

That's just the way it is. I'm not trying to justify it, but we can't change it so we'll just have to live with it.

I didn't get much attention from girls until I starved myself thin, quit my easy job and got a more stressful but higher paying job.


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RetroGamer87
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12 Aug 2017, 7:11 pm

hurtloam wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
When you get them into a group, the groupthink begins. That's why the world's dumbest ideologies come from groups.


Like Red Pill forums...


Exactly!


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AngelRho
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12 Aug 2017, 7:25 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
The common theme in all of what is deemed romantic in our society, is male sacrifice. The man has to sacrifice his possesions, time, money and sometimes his life, and it's simply what us men are supposed to do, without being allowed to ask any questions.

The sad thing is when it doesn't even work. I have had friends who sacrificed far more than I ever did, and their girls ended up cheating on the anyways... So much for romance.

That's just the way it is. I'm not trying to justify it, but we can't change it so we'll just have to live with it.

I didn't get much attention from girls until I starved myself thin, quit my easy job and got a more stressful but higher paying job.

I absolutely agree with the sacrifice bit. It's just a question of how far you're willing to go.

And no, I never try to make a point of justifying it. All I can do is observe and draw conclusions. People will judge their own self-worth based on the positive attention they get from others.

Culturally the onus has always been on the men to be the givers, but it's no different for women.

Anyway, as far as you're willing to go... If you value the person you want more than anything else, is it still a sacrifice? I've given up a lot of things over time that, honestly, I never noticed or really missed that much. I like what I have better, so it's like I never lost anything.



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12 Aug 2017, 7:30 pm

Closet Genious wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Ah see now you've been with the wrong kind of women then. My friend that relates to these comics isn't at all materialistic. I've known her most of my life. She's more the outdoors type and she and her husband enjoy talking about interesting things and visiting interesting places.

There's the mundane everydayness to relationships too. I know it's not all like this every day, but I'm not ever going to be the pressuring someone to be a person they are not type of girlfriend, so won't have the same problems you did.

My cousin did a sweet thing for his girlfriend the other day and she posted it on facebook. My friend that I actually fancied a few years back, but who married someone else does post cute things on Instagram about their little outings too. I've got another couple of friends who post their outings as well. He does a menial job and she does odd jobs here and there and they are very happy. Some men are romantic and some women like that. Some women are not materialistic and as a couple she and her husband achieve a comfortable level of togetherness.

Relationships aren't all fighting and people telling each other they're not good enough.


I am willing to bet my custom built acoustic, that in all of these relationships you described, the men earn more than their partner, and of course they get no complaints then..

The common theme in all of what is deemed romantic in our society, is male sacrifice. The man has to sacrifice his possesions, time, money and sometimes his life, and it's simply what us men are supposed to do, without being allowed to ask any questions.

The sad thing is when it doesn't even work. I have had friends who sacrificed far more than I ever did, and their girls ended up cheating on the anyways... So much for romance.


Of all the reasons I would choose to be single, this is actually the biggest reason.

I don't always like the fact s the man has to 'provide' for the woman.

My definition of 'provide' is different than societies it seems.

To have a girlfriend I need to 'have things to offer', a job, a car I can drive her around in, a clean apartment or house for her to share with me etc.

I'm on a disability payment and according to the government can only work or study 0-8hrs a week.

The work thing is true, I used to volunteer and could only handle about 10hrs max but that was really pushing myself and i would take painkillers to relax, 8hrs is approx. My comfortanle limit.

But i was so pissed when i found out i cantstudy either.

Studying is significantly easier and different than working a full time job.

I'm not saying full time university is easy, but getting kicked out of uni vs losing your job are two very different pressures.

I did just fine in high school, because high school and uni are easymode compared to a 10hr a day job

I just wsh I could get a girlfriend with the same standards as.my own, maybe another girl with mental health problems still living with her parents as a young adult and on a disability payment but even they are hypergamous and can and will choose the guy with more 'to offer'.

What i have to offer is though my income is low i am a good saver, I always offer to pay for dates but frustratingly they always want to split the bill. Thanks Feminism! Im friendly, passionate confident funny. I do have anxiety that when it affects.me.males.me uncomfortable and easily startled but I am still a confident and carefree person when I feel good. Despite my anxiety I am also a slightly aggressive person so I am capable of using this aggression to hide my weaknesses and successfully defend myself so if she requires a 'protector' I'm capable of doing that though I'm not a violent person, I just use assertiveness first then aggressiveness to get people to leave me alone and try to defuse the situation if they want to fight.

Anyway.I'm average looking but well dressed groomed and on-my-way to fit as well as a clean, comfortable living space and warm caring parents.

Im trying to always improve looks, personality, mental health through therapy, anti anxiety pills, and soon want to start volunteering again.

But all this means nothing, even young women always want more it seems.

I want nothing more out of a girl than i am myself

Only reason i might go for a woman with a job is because it increases my chances, if I only go for unemployed girls who live with their parents the.older you get the smaller percentage of women that is.

Its.not so much.me going 'out of.my league' its that I have no choice. :(

I'd never want to make such big sacrifices even if I did have a job.

I've noticed it too, i understand compromise and sacrifice are.normal in a relationship, but people sacrifice their entire life, every hope and dream, everything they ever wanted, for their wife and kids.

I don't have much of a life or big dreams anyway, and so not as much to lose, but the idea of that still scares me.

My sacrifice would be less so losing things, like the opportunity for that dream job or physical fitness or my personal pre-marriage money, etc.

But more so me having to go too far out of my comfort zone and make myself feel like a nervous wreck all the time by getting a job, driving a car around, and getting harassed by constant messages and calls from large amounts of faceless, soulless companies wanting me to be their customer, being constantly reminded of bills, bills, bills.

Gah! Im so grateful for my actual life.



sly279
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12 Aug 2017, 8:07 pm

guitarman2010 wrote:
Another person cannot make us happy. Being in a relationship can be nice but ultimately happiness is something we have to achieve on our own. If you have a void inside your soul, another person is not going to fill it. One must find a way to fill the void........

Unless the void is from not having another person in your life.
My reason for being unhappy is entirely from being alone and not having love and a gf.
I'm quite contempt with my life, which is ironically a big reason why women won't date me.



sly279
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12 Aug 2017, 8:15 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Ah see now you've been with the wrong kind of women then. My friend that relates to these comics isn't at all materialistic. I've known her most of my life. She's more the outdoors type and she and her husband enjoy talking about interesting things and visiting interesting places.

There's the mundane everydayness to relationships too. I know it's not all like this every day, but I'm not ever going to be the pressuring someone to be a person they are not type of girlfriend, so won't have the same problems you did.

My cousin did a sweet thing for his girlfriend the other day and she posted it on facebook. My friend that I actually fancied a few years back, but who married someone else does post cute things on Instagram about their little outings too. I've got another couple of friends who post their outings as well. He does a menial job and she does odd jobs here and there and they are very happy. Some men are romantic and some women like that. Some women are not materialistic and as a couple she and her husband achieve a comfortable level of togetherness.

Relationships aren't all fighting and people telling each other they're not good enough.


I am willing to bet my custom built acoustic, that in all of these relationships you described, the men earn more than their partner, and of course they get no complaints then..

The common theme in all of what is deemed romantic in our society, is male sacrifice. The man has to sacrifice his possesions, time, money and sometimes his life, and it's simply what us men are supposed to do, without being allowed to ask any questions.

The sad thing is when it doesn't even work. I have had friends who sacrificed far more than I ever did, and their girls ended up cheating on the anyways... So much for romance.


That's a real shame. People can suck sometimes. I'm not going to deny that there are selfish women out there, that would be silly, but I do know some happy people, I also know some unhappy relationship people. I can understand why it is hard to trust. It's not like I'm so obsessed with a relationship that I haven't been discerning. I really really like that guy I met this year, but I was careful, I learned about him and realised that we are not compatible. I'm not bitter about it, we just move on and keep going.

The friend that loves the instagram account is earning more than her husband. He's trying to start his own business and it's a bit slow at the moment. She's the main breadwinner. It wprks for them. I spent some time with them last week and they were quite chipper.


Wait, back it up. You custom built and acoustic guitar?? From scratch or customised an existing guitar?


If he's starting his own business that means he has money and skill. Means potential future income. Also means his ambitious. The men who women reject or cheat on are the poor non ambitious men. Do you know any women who are in a relationship with men who work min wage, plan to always work min wage and have no career goals?
I don't. Everyone I've met has potential future income. They either in college or working a good job. I probably should tried harder to get a gf in college when they would dated me at least until I graduated and they found out I'm not able to work in automotive.

In fact usually women list that on their ad. Must have a good job or be in college. Idea being college leads to a good job. They invest in a poor guy today with hopes of getting a well off guy in few years I guess. Though with most degree leading to no job it's a tough gambl. Would been nice to have fake love for few years though.



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12 Aug 2017, 8:28 pm

Outrider.
I can handle around 20 hours it seems. But I don't like it, I'm exhausted and don't have time for much.
Come to think of it since I started working I've had to take 2-6 pain pills a day on work days. I've gained 20 pounds since starting. I lost more weight when not working.
Better able to control my food intake on days off. I get less sleep, I'm stressed a lot especially last 4 months. My pimple problem has increased while before starting g work it was almost gone completely.
Work hasn't helped me with women at all either, which was the whole point.
So really it gives me $40 a month xtra income for shampoo and such, and what's left I can spend.

Does get me out of the house I guess, but I feel like no one there really likes me. I try my best but it seems it's not enough. I put up with a lot, no one else in the store will work up there they hate just coving the breaks(which makes getting breaks hard) you'd think they'd take that into account. They can't get new people to work there either. If they do they quite or transfer out within month or so. I've been there almost 2 years. Taking it a day at a time. It's pretty horrible honestly. I have no where else to go though.

Women don't want a min wage guy on ssi who has no ambitions. I don't want to travel either. I like my city. I guess I'm just a super homebody. People change when they climbe the corp ladder. People who use to be friendly aren't anymore,. I don't have any interest in that stuff.



SilverBoltsisWmax
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12 Aug 2017, 11:38 pm

I think the best part about dating is the idea of someone who want's a woman being weak. If you are desperate in a sense and want a girlfriend it's unattractive to most girls causing you to basically instantly get rejected. That itself is the greatest self fulfilling prophecy I've ever met.



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13 Aug 2017, 2:07 am

SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
I think the best part about dating is the idea of someone who want's a woman being weak. If you are desperate in a sense and want a girlfriend it's unattractive to most girls causing you to basically instantly get rejected. That itself is the greatest self fulfilling prophecy I've ever met.


It seems to be the same for women. I know women who have been made fun of for it. Especially the not so attractive ones.

It's really tricky getting that balance. Interested in dating, but not too interested, but not so uninterested that no-one knows you are open to dating.


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RetroGamer87
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13 Aug 2017, 2:35 am

hurtloam wrote:
SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
I think the best part about dating is the idea of someone who want's a woman being weak. If you are desperate in a sense and want a girlfriend it's unattractive to most girls causing you to basically instantly get rejected. That itself is the greatest self fulfilling prophecy I've ever met.


It seems to be the same for women. I know women who have been made fun of for it. Especially the not so attractive ones.

It's really tricky getting that balance. Interested in dating, but not too interested, but not so uninterested that no-one knows you are open to dating.


In either case it's terrible, making it so the only way to get a partner is to not want one.

People also get teased about being single, yet if they try to get unsingle, they're teased for that to.

If you get teased for being single and teased for trying to get a partner, then the only way to not get teased is to already be in a relationship.

That's what society expects, it expects us to already be in a relationship.

But we shouldn't waste time worrying about society's more unreasonable expectations. All that matters is what you and your future partner think, not what other people think of you two or how you met.


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SilverBoltsisWmax
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13 Aug 2017, 3:27 am

hurtloam wrote:
SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
I think the best part about dating is the idea of someone who want's a woman being weak. If you are desperate in a sense and want a girlfriend it's unattractive to most girls causing you to basically instantly get rejected. That itself is the greatest self fulfilling prophecy I've ever met.


It seems to be the same for women. I know women who have been made fun of for it. Especially the not so attractive ones.

It's really tricky getting that balance. Interested in dating, but not too interested, but not so uninterested that no-one knows you are open to dating.


It's that reason alone I'm sure I'll be single till I die or I'll get lucky and meet a girl with the same mindset as me. That would be nice tell you the truth. Cause I really don't feel like acting the part to get a girl the way society deems it so.



RetroGamer87
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13 Aug 2017, 4:10 am

SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
SilverBoltsisWmax wrote:
I think the best part about dating is the idea of someone who want's a woman being weak. If you are desperate in a sense and want a girlfriend it's unattractive to most girls causing you to basically instantly get rejected. That itself is the greatest self fulfilling prophecy I've ever met.


It seems to be the same for women. I know women who have been made fun of for it. Especially the not so attractive ones.

It's really tricky getting that balance. Interested in dating, but not too interested, but not so uninterested that no-one knows you are open to dating.


It's that reason alone I'm sure I'll be single till I die or I'll get lucky and meet a girl with the same mindset as me. That would be nice tell you the truth. Cause I really don't feel like acting the part to get a girl the way society deems it so.


Ahh but you see, you won't be seen as weak by a single girl who is also looking for a partner. You might be just who she was looking for.


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hurtloam
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15 Aug 2017, 3:14 pm

A married male friend posted a link to this and I thought it was cute. More cute cartoons.

https://www.instagram.com/jude_devir/?hl=en

Messy slobbery relationship realities
Image


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