Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Youngest age to date with a girl?

Page 7 of 7 [ 104 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

Previous topic | Next topic

The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,886
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

24 Feb 2018, 1:44 am

Chronos wrote:
Anonymoussun02 wrote:
DW_a_mom wrote:
I haven't read all 6 pages, so hopefully someone has said this already.

Date any legal (18 and over) person who wants to date you but do NOT lie or mislead about your age.

I get the impression you prefer to withhold that information (you plan to intentionally make yourself look younger), but in my opinion doing so long term is morally wrong, and the longer you wait to tell the truth once a real relationship starts the more hot water you will be in with the woman you are seeing. You can maybe get away with not bringing it up for the first few dates, but not after that, you MUST disclose. And if she asks before you are ready MUST answer honestly. I also think you have to be honest before getting intimate.

Do not lie to or mislead someone you want a relationship with. Ever. Since you've never had a serious relationship that is the most important thing for you to understand going in. You cannot have a decent relationship by being fake. All you can achieve when you lie is a trail of women who will rightfully think you are the biggest manipulator and douche they have ever met.

People didn't have hang ups in regards to huge age gaps when it came to dating more than a hundred years ago. Today you would have to go to like Eastern Europe where you can find 18-21 year old blondes who date guys 10-15 or even 20 years older than themselves.

I feel that in terms where I stand in life I relate to most 20-21 year olds rather than people in their early 30s who have already settled financially, career wise, and more.


100 years ago marriage was much less about love and attraction and much more about economics and social norms. My great great great great grandmother was 15 when she married her first husband, who was almost 50. Why? Because she became pregnant by him out of wedlock. I'm not sure if this was a consensual encounter or if he raped her...he was renting a room in her family's house, but it was less socially acceptable to have a child out of wedlock, particularly given their religion, than for a child to marry an older grown man. He died four years later leaving her widowed with two young children. A year after his death, when she was 20, she remarried my great great great great grandfather, who was the more proper age of 25.



*shivers*

and yet they say our generation is terrible.



DW_a_mom
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Feb 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,687
Location: Northern California

24 Feb 2018, 5:41 pm

Women were basically treated as property for centuries. I'm glad that is over in most of the world.

Anonymoussun02, not everyone cares about age. My point has little to do with the age difference and everything to do with the fact that YOU worry about how women will perceive it, to the extent you are willing to change how you look. I read into that that you want to be something you are not, rather than stand up for the reality of who you are. The right person will love who you are. Anyone who cannot, is not the right person for you. I honestly really do find it that simple.

As for movies and the like ... what to reveal and not reveal is a tricky area full of nuance. So full of nuance I found myself completely unable to play it despite the fact that I may be more NT than ASD (hard to know at this late date in my life and I've seen no point to test it). Which comes down to realizing that while SOME people can get away with SOME misrepresentations early in relationships, I learned fast that for MOST people (and especially me) any attempt to play that game is a trap within which they will surely be hurt. Obviously no one volunteers every negative fact about themselves straight out the gate, and early dating is definitely a game of mild illusion, but you do have to plan to allow the more honest and potentially negative information to slowly emerge, hopefully organically, as a relationship progresses and becomes more serious. Something like age is considered a fact so basic that it tends to come up early and it would be extremely difficult to get away with lying about it.


_________________
Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).


RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,970
Location: Adelaide, Australia

24 Feb 2018, 7:36 pm

My next girlfriend will probably be another overweight 30 year old with whom I have an unstable relationship that only lasts for a few months. Just like my last girlfriend and the one before her and the one before her :(


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


fluffysaurus
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Oct 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,723
Location: England

25 Feb 2018, 5:49 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
My next girlfriend will probably be another overweight 30 year old with whom I have an unstable relationship that only lasts for a few months. Just like my last girlfriend and the one before her and the one before her :(
Your last girlfriend was 30?

If you don't really find overweight women attractive they will work it out if your dating and they WILL hold it against you. That could be why these relationships are unstable. I don't know how men feel about this but we women do not want to feel as if a partner is with us because they think they couldn't do any better. A lot of us would rather be on our own.

Maybe this time you should stay single until you find what you really want. The same thing over and over doesn't seem to be working well and you might be missing opportunities due to being in these relationships when they come up.

Having said all that, I have zero experience of relationships, so I could just be talking out of my snout :pig: .


_________________
climate change petition, please sign

Petition against Amazon selling 'make downs extinct' t-shirts. And other hate speech paraphernalia.


RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,970
Location: Adelaide, Australia

25 Feb 2018, 6:04 am

fluffysaurus wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
My next girlfriend will probably be another overweight 30 year old with whom I have an unstable relationship that only lasts for a few months. Just like my last girlfriend and the one before her and the one before her :(
Your last girlfriend was 30?

If you don't really find overweight women attractive they will work it out if your dating and they WILL hold it against you. That could be why these relationships are unstable. I don't know how men feel about this but we women do not want to feel as if a partner is with us because they think they couldn't do any better. A lot of us would rather be on our own.

Maybe this time you should stay single until you find what you really want. The same thing over and over doesn't seem to be working well and you might be missing opportunities due to being in these relationships when they come up.

Having said all that, I have zero experience of relationships, so I could just be talking out of my snout :pig: .

No, you're probably right. Even if I keep my dislike for their fatness a secret, they'll probably work it out. I know they don't even like me thinking they're too fat, even when I promise not to mention it.

Really I don't think I can do better. I know hot women can do better than me. I know that fear of being alone doesn't justify dating women I'm not attracted to. Even more I fear being too old when I find the right one. If I wait for some hot girl to come along, I will be too old.

Besides that I can never connect with them the same way some couples do. I'm too emotionally distant. I can get girlfriends but I can't fall in love.


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


Anonymoussun02
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 24 Apr 2017
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 28
Location: North Texas

25 Feb 2018, 12:19 pm

DW_a_mom wrote:
Anonymoussun02, not everyone cares about age. My point has little to do with the age difference and everything to do with the fact that YOU worry about how women will perceive it, to the extent you are willing to change how you look. I read into that that you want to be something you are not, rather than stand up for the reality of who you are. The right person will love who you are. Anyone who cannot, is not the right person for you. I honestly really do find it that simple.

Well thinking about it there's currently 7 plus billion people on this planet. What are the odds of finding an ideal girl who's likes my age and everything about me, plus she's young and good looking. Probably there's currently at least 50 of those types of girls standing anywhere on this globe, in which it's off of my radar screen.

I've been reading a lot lately about the "law of attraction".



sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

25 Feb 2018, 4:44 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
My next girlfriend will probably be another overweight 30 year old with whom I have an unstable relationship that only lasts for a few months. Just like my last girlfriend and the one before her and the one before her :(

Atleast you keep getting gfs. I’d love to have a 3 month relationship.
I’d also be fine with bit overweight 30 year old if she has the playful personality. They won’t take me though.



RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,970
Location: Adelaide, Australia

25 Feb 2018, 11:25 pm

Anonymoussun02 wrote:
Well thinking about it there's currently 7 plus billion people on this planet. What are the odds of finding an ideal girl who's likes my age and everything about me, plus she's young and good looking. Probably there's currently at least 50 of those types of girls standing anywhere on this globe, in which it's off of my radar screen.
What are the odds of finding that regardless of whether or not she's the same age. I think that's why I don't quite fall in love with any of my girlfriends. None of them were a close enough match. I almost feel like I could fall in love with the female version of myself. The trouble is, she may have lived in Macedonia and died 1,800 years ago, or something like that.


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short