Awkward miscommunication(s) - how to speak NT?

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Where to even begin?

I've known an awesome girl for almost eight years or something and we're kind of platonic. I say kind of because no matter how 'friendzoned' I might feel we tend to enjoy each other's company at a bunch of raunchy parties & nights out with friends. The physical attraction is glaringly obvious & has been for years; I should probably be more forward in person but we're busy & don't get much 1:1 time. There's a 100% communications breakdown between us digitally though, for which I'm to blame. Getting a text from someone as shy & weird as I am must be like getting a telegram from Mars without knowing Morse code. I usually get one text invitation off my chest & just see her again whenever I see her but we're always cordial & steal a lot of glances. In other words I forgive her reservations, I'd ignore my texts too but nonetheless I'm wrapped around her finger, she knows this & that's just where I want to be.

Never mind how incompatible you all probably find me to be with such a beautiful NT (she's NT enough for a psych degree) - I'm less compatible with everyone else I've ever met. I just want to be sure I'm giving her enough space without creating a vacuum so to speak. I'm just trying to find good ways for us to get together more without being clingy or too distant. We couldn't be more different but she deserves to know just how thankful I am that she's around at all.

Any & all help in this regard may be repaid with free tech support.

*crickets...*

I guess I'm looking for good ways to reopen communication that AREN'T electronic.

Honestly does no one have a better idea than explaining all this in person eventually?

Tell her you're into her and would like to take her on a date

I second this for sure, given that from the opening post it seems you have good reasons to believe there's physical attraction.

I know I want to but perhaps since it's been so long I should be a bit subtler about it?

NT here with questions of my own for you.

Does she know about your diagnosis?

What does "I'd ignore my texts too" mean?
Does she respond to them at all?

How do you know that SHE knows you're wrapped around her finger?

-if any of my questions are not clear to you, please ask so I can attempt to adjust wording as necessary

Yeah she's known about my diagnosis for ages & it kind of surprised her - I'm pretty outgoing despite the awkwardness. Usually her responses are delayed when I get them, or like I said I just see her when I see her. We already established that I'm terrible about socializing electronically & agreed about that so I guess we're both averse to gambling with more miscommunication. I guess I'm kind of old fashioned - I work with tech all the time but it's rigidly distinct from my social life. I did tell her in no uncertain terms that I'm hers anyway & that went better than I really expected even though there's still so much ambiguity.

Are you scared to ask her out on a date?

The last sentence feels to me like the ambiguity is on her part, not on yours. You essentially told her you're all hers- but of course what she chooses to do (or not do) with that information is up to her.

Anxious sure, because I know I'd have to find myself in the right place to do so. For now maybe it's better to just make sure we're both already comfortable/all is copacetic.

That's fair.

How would you go about ensuring you are both comfortable? I mean do you have a thought process on that already?

(also please let me know if I am offensive to you in some manner- never ever my intention. I'm still learning to navigate various differences)

That's tough to be sure about, I can probably only get some clue next time we get into a conversation. All I can really think to do is get an impression when we can get more time together.

Well if you feel like it's there next time you see her you may just want to address it directly. Again. I know you said you've told her. What was her reaction to your telling her, by the way? I am curious about that.

May be worth getting some clarification, for example: "When you look at me this way or that way, I think/feel this (whatever you think) and I was wondering if I'm reading you incorrectly." It's direct enough that you'll get an answer and not so direct that an NT would be put off.

In my opinion if her return response is positive to you stepping in that direction, go for it. Ask her out. What's the worst that can happen? That she says no, and then you know for sure and can move on. Dating is agonizing. So stressful. I wish everyone would say exactly what they meant, every time they spoke.

You sound like you're close to the breaking point. You have to be willing to sacrifice the friendship if you want to risk turning it romantic. If she's not interested in you romantically then your friendship will end, because it's going to be very awkward when one person knows the other thinks of them as more than a friend. That's the way things generally wind up if one person has deeper feelings than the other. You might as well push your luck, because you're just going to feel more anxious and more unhappy the longer you let this drag on. If you've felt this way for almost a decade and things haven't gotten anywhere, I suspect you're either both terrible at communicating how you feel about one another. Either that or you're seeing things that aren't there via wishful thinking and she's only interested in a platonic relationship.

I don't really view it as an either/or sacrifice kind of thing. To me give & take doesn't have to mean all or nothing. I think we're just lazy about communicating these things & more or less content to stick with the on-off casual way of being.

I guess she was kind of surprised but it wasn't negative; we were at a big hippie music fest & just enjoyed ourselves without over thinking it.

I'm not trying to test us past any of our limits like the last guy mentioned, I'm more keen on finding enough common ground that it's not a concern.