Fustrated!

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You'd think the loss of a son or daughter would be the bottom but...

I remember hearing the kid crying in the background and the mum saying he'd just fallen over , he'll be ok (while she stayed on facebook). This was the night before she went over the edge !

The son was really cool , so happy.... He loved his mum , but her drink came before the son. I'm very close to my family , brothers/sisters even when one of them cries it makes me feel bad let alone a baby. Her dad was also an alcoholic so it's in the family aswell.

The more i think about it , the more i think to myself , What was i thinking!

I want to make clear that addicts do not necessarily believe that their addiction is more important than their family or their jobs, although it may look that way to the outside observer. They are sick and delusional about their ability to use and function normally. The power of denial and rationalization are mighty indeed.

You may of been thinking how you wanted to help & her kid out. I got close to a girl years ago who was dealing with some alcohol & drug issues. We wer friends for a bit & she was doing well & we got closer but she started falling back into old habits. Last I heard from her she was bragging about how she had to get her stomach pumped a few days before. I think you can only help people who want to be helped

Been getting the mobile texts all night , though i'm ignoring them...

I've done nothing wrong , it was only one drink... i'd never hurt you , i'll be there for you why do i always get hurt.

I would at least try one last time to shove it through her skull that you're not hurting her, but she's hurting herself, and that she should know it's too slippery of a slope for her, having been addicted before, and also that she is hurting you by hurting herself and dragging you with her, and that you don't want to be hurt like that anymore. Ignore anything else though, I think.

You have to take care of yourself to. That was my fatal mistake. I kept changing my plans & sacrificing sleep because she was upset & wanted to talk on phone/online. I got so frustrated over everything that I had a break-down after everything ended. I think I mite of made her problems worse in the end but looking back; if I was a bit of a help to her overall instead of making anything worse; I'd do it all over again in a hearbeat

All calmed down today , had to remove her off facebook too... If only she wasn't a drinker , i'd still be with her and more so

Oh well back on the single trail AGAIN

I know it hurts but things will get better. The main thing that bothers me now is being single. I wish I had some advice for ya on that one cuz it could help me & lots of other guys here out

The problem is that the OP is so close to the subject matter that he can't see the woods for the trees. My interpretation of the situation is something like this.......

She is a self abuser and an addict.


She is not a fit parent.


She has psychiatric problems.


Has a complete lack of responsibilty.


Says her - by this stage, we have pretty much proven she lacks credibility as a human being. Why would you believe anything she says? On the other other, if she is telling the truth she needs to get over it.


No wonder she can't hold down a f***ing job.


I would imagine most substance abusing, psychiatrically unwell insomniacs are like this.


She's telling the truth. She is seriously mentally ill.


And?

Look, there is no other way to put this but this woman is a serious cantidate for loser of the year - if not the century. Why the hell would you want to be with someone like this? Do yourself a favour and set you sights a little (or a lot) higher.

While I agree with you on that sentiment, it's really hard to do that, especially when this type of woman is the only one that pays any attention to you at all.

True True!

But anyway it's been two days now and i haven't gone back to her and unlikely to....

Fair comment but I would argue that just because someone is your only option doesn't mean they are your best option.

Also, I have noticed that other people tend to judge you by who you associate with. In this case, if you hang with losers, people will assume you are a loser. This will completely kill any future possbilities you might have had better than Autism will.

Good man!! !! !

I think keeping your distance is the wisest thing to do for both your sakes, but understand (not you OP) she is sick and it is unfair I think to throw someone away as "loser". I have seen people recover from the depths of hell. There was certainly a time when someone could have thrown me away too. The point is not that you don't care but she has to do the work herself. It would be like learning to swim for somebody. You cannot be around her because in her sick confused state of mind her addiction will use you to further itself. When I was in rehab they taught us to think of our addiction as a conflicting part of ourselves, sort of a parasitical mind against mind. That way when we were faced with a trigger we could distance ourselves and say "That's my addiction talking". Sorry to ramble, but I have a real problem with anyone being dismissed as a "loser".

In my experience I regret letting things fall apart. I think that if I had been a stronger person mentally & more aware like I am now; I could of helped more & maybe we would be happy together rite now. I cant help feeling like I failed her & I'm destined to spend the rest of my life alone because of it