I have been alone my whole life

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"Although I want friendship, I want a romantic relationship, I realize these things just do not seem natural to me in any way."

These things probably won't feel natural for a long time, if ever. You can't go from a behavior feeling totally artificial to totally natural in seconds. The only way I know of to get there is constant effort, all day every day, for years...while trying to take it easy on yourself when you don't make as much progress as you want. Do you want friendship or a relationship enough to work on it, even if doing what it takes to make or maintain one feels unnatural & difficult? Or, do you only want it if it feels natural to you? Something to think about.

I agree with Hale Bopp about the more than one soul mate thing. AFAIK though, I have yet to meet any of mine. Either that, or they keep turning up in roles, sexes, etc., that preclude me from having a relationship with them.