Unwanted attention from opposite sex

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I think most guys here would give their right hand to have your 'problem'. I don't think I would because the attention which I receive from girl has confirmed that I'm not totally unatractive. I can't see what I do 'right' though, because I never initiate conversations, don't flirt/give compliments and I surely can't be that good looking. Normally I would be sceptic because it's hard to know when a girl is interested and when she's not, but I've had some of them reveal themselves in obvious ways. First I found it hard to believe that someone could actually show interest in me because I have been pretty much ignored by girls most of my life. It's good for my confidence so the attention is not at all unappreciated - plus it's not like girls throw themselves after me. It's easier to have a conversation with girls whom I study with as well, because that means we have something in common. Not because I have to talk about my interests - screw that, but it gives you something to fall back on. From being in a few relationships I did learn something valuable - I don't like intimacy and have no desire for it. I always thought girls cared less for the physical aspect of relationships and more for the emotional and intellectual aspect.
Turns out I might be wrong, and that's how I've failed at every relationship I've ever had. I'd rather have the 'old married couple' experience where love is somewhat involved but there little intimacy and feelings are present but not necessarily expressed.

Do not let your Aspergers make you think someone is out to get you like I did. You got to make yourself to trust what has happening. now at 40 I no longer get the chances I did in my 20's. Do not be some pissed off 40 something full of regreats like me. Take a chance next time you get approached if it does not pann out so what. Acording to my normal friends they strike out 8 of 10 times they ask a girl out and these guys are not getting women asking them out like you.

This is part of the predicament I'm in, I don't trust people.

Maybe you can try anti-anxiety medicine? Do not end up like me kid I am not having a great life for the past 20 years. I am full of self-hate and regrets.

I seem to attract men I don't want either. When I was younger guys asked me out as a joke, egged on by their friends But I guess I've learned how to make my quirkiness charming and also how to wear makeup and look reasonably cute.

But I don't have any desire for these weirdos that hit on me! Why do I only attract people who are a) old and creepy 2) young and creepy or 3) mentally ill???

To takemitsu - So, is it more that you don't trust the girls and have anxiety because of your distrust and don't want to chance dating? Or is it that you find the attention uncomfortable and just aren't interested in these women and want to keep it only a work related environment?

Todesking - I see the point you are making and it's a valid one. One doesn't want to have regrets from not taking chances. On the other hand, we want to be smart about our choices and just because there are more opportunities for one person, than an another, does not mean those opportunities are necessarily good ones.


I have had the problem the OP has described and I can tell you, from first hand experience since I was a teenager, that unwanted attention from the opposite sex can create a hell of a lot of problems. It can lead to hurt feelings, misunderstanding, anger, jealousy, resentment, retaliation, sabotage, all kinds of nasty s**t.

I'm in my 40's and it still happens to me. I do not flirt. I often have no idea when someone is hitting on me unless they are really obvious. I get extremely uncomfortable if someone flirts or a guy give me a lot of attention.

I even had men hitting on me when I was married. I would have to tell them more then once to get lost before they would give up

Attention is awesome when it's wanted. When it's not welcome, it's a major pain.

To be undesired topic

Must be tough, unless you want a mate for having kids. Other than that, I had no desire whatsover. And as Willard says, after you reach a certain age you become invisible. I have reached that stage, but I have all the kids I need.

But seriously, if you are being harassed at work, you could speak to human resources. It is hard to work if someone is constantly paying unwanted attention.

I wish I could relate. The only time I've gotten unwanted sexual attention was from gay guys. Ack!

I probably wouldn't trust a woman to be sincere if she was overtly hitting on me. I'd be afraid she doesn't actually find *me* attractive but rather she wants me to give her attention. I don't think most women will chase guys that way unless they're trying to be manipulative.

girls are too predictable, they dont want a nice guy. this is gonna sound awful but the worse you treat them the more they like you, wich is why i dont have a girlfriend ok. im too nice!

i was at a resturant and this girl was wearing her freakin' undies outside. she was looking at me while i was waiting for my order like "i know what yer looking at stud, you want this muffin?" suddenly i relised i was turning red and my order was up. i almost dropped my food and ran into the door, it was quit emberrasing and thats when i relised she knew what she was doing and probably wanted me to ravage her right there next to the money box. i cant act like that though because i am too well behaved!

I don't think that's true. It's just that the ones who act so overt are likely to be slu*ty attention whores. The ones that are truly attracted to nice guys are gonna be shy and wait for you to come to them.

Lucky bastard.

You'll get no sympathy from me.

I seem to attract a good number of crazy homless people. It was so bad when my friends and I went to Toronto they were walking infront of me acting like an early warning system for me ocassionally yelling out look out here comes another one. I actually got chased into the street while we were on Youngs street by a drunk homeless guy with what looked like liver failure and was all scabby who wanted shake my hand. If you know my problems with being touched you would know what a nightmare that was for me.

What is "Lasik"?

You know, if this were a girl who was getting unwanted attention from guys, I bet you people would be a lot more sympathetic. Being harassed all the time is no fun, whatever gender it comes from.

hale_bopp: Lasik is corrective eye surgery that can reduce or eliminate the need to wear eyeglasses.

Maybe then Glasses guys here should try investing in it?

I don't get it personally, I love glasses on the right guy.