Dating Questions

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Dear Wrong Planet,

1. How do I ask a girl out on a date?

2. As a high school student, what would be some general locations for a date?

3. What should I expect from the girl on "x" number of dates?
What would be a reasonable list of milestones at each point in the relationship (via the base system)?

4. Is formality a big deal at a restaurant or for any date in general?

5. Because of feminism should I expect the woman to pay half the bill?

6. How much should I tip the waiter?

Depends on the country and the local customs. 10% in the UK, 0% in New Zealand and Japan. I believe it's a minimum of 15% in America.

1. It's very difficult, but it can be done. Try talking to her casually first, and once you've gotten to know her, and you've built up your confidence, tell her that you like her, and ask her if she would like to have lunch, or something.

2. For the first date, something like a moderately-priced restaurant or coffee shop would work.

3. It depends on the girl, but most first dates end with at least a hug or a kiss. Just don't expect to get laid on the first date.

4. Be polite, but informal. I mean, use good manners ("please," "thank you") but don't come across as prissy.

5. That's totally up to her. Your best bet is to offer to treat her, and if she accepts, do it. For that reason, I'd pick an inexpensive place for the first date.

6. I'd say a minimum of $3 and a maximum of 15% of the total bill (unless 15% of the total bill is less than $3).

1. Just ask her if she'd like to go out sometime. Dinner, lunch, and coffee are pretty safe and common choices. Events can also be good, such as concerts, comedy, or other shows (though these can cost more and are not available everywhere all the time).

2. A cafe or moderately-priced restaurant (i.e., not a diner) are the simplest choices. I would recommend a nice cafe--they can have good food/drinks and generally have a casual, friendly atmosphere, making them potentially less stressful than restaurants.

3. You really shouldn't expect anything based on number of dates. It's all about how well you click. And I wouldn't expect a hug or a kiss on the first date. It may be common, and likely, but not everyone would do so. "Milestones" will vary greatly from one person to the next.

4. No, just be polite and have some manners. "Please," "thank you," don't talk with your mouth full, that sort of thing.

5. If you're doing the inviting, you should probably offer to pay the bill. Also, many women still expect men to do this, although I think most do not.

6. In the US I recommend no less than 15%, 20% for good service or if you're feeling generous. Also, many women will think it speaks well of you if you tip well (shows you're generous and considerate). Lower tips are acceptable for inadequate service.

Good luck. And I like your username.

2. If you have common interests, you may want to plan your date around that. For example, I really like animals, so one time I asked a girl (who was also into animals) to go to the zoo with me, and we had a really great time. If you like adrenaline, a theme park would not be a bad idea.

I'm 14, and also an Aspie, and never dated, so my thoughts might be wrong, but here they are anyways:

1. How do I ask a girl out on a date?
A toughie. If I had to, I'd probably do it whenever I can privately, and say, "Hey [Insert Name Here], if you aren't busy [Insert Desires Time Here], I was wondering if you'd like to [Insert Whatever It Is You Want To Do Here]."

2. As a high school student, what would be some general locations for a date?
I'd say bowling, beach, movies, or just hanging around a mall.

3. What should I expect from the girl on "x" number of dates?
What would be a reasonable list of milestones at each point in the relationship (via the base system)?
Ah, the one thing I have absolutely no answer for.

4. Is formality a big deal at a restaurant or for any date in general?
I'd assume so. Be polite.

5. Because of feminism should I expect the woman to pay half the bill?
My plan would be offer to pay the full bill, and, if she offers to contribute, let her.

6. How much should I tip the waiter?
20% is what they expect.

Good luck! I hope I helped.

Number 3 is a stupid question. You shouldn't "expect" anything like that based on how many dates you've had. It's up to her when she's ready and that is gonna be different for every girl.

I would suggest somewhere like the cinema as an obvious choice. Unless you're both into something different. Cinema is a pretty safe option though.

I would offer to pay the bill yourself unless she objects.

So assuming that we go to a movie theater, what genre of movies would be the standard for a first date?

Also, I once took the Myers-Briggs test and got INTJ (Introverted-Intuitive-Thinking-Judgement) which is pretty much the personality of your stereotypical intellectual. The girl on the other hand, is a cute cheerleader who I think has a crush on me (as do a couple others). What I am concerned about is however, is whether or not my attractiveness and intelligence can do a good job of masking my social ineptness towards the opposite sex. So far, in the small-chats I have with many girls who are very attractive and bright as well, I don't think I screw up that much, so my question would be whether or not my attractiveness and intelligence can do as a job on a small chats (thirty seconds to a couple minutes at best )as they would on a date (generally lasting roughly an hour give or take) to the?

Also, my psychologist has told me that Aspies tend to be paranoid and cynical about people's motives based on past experiences.
So my questions are the following:

1. Could I be arrogant and erroneous in assuming that this girl is interested in me when she could just be friendly and nice?

2. Is this too good to be true? In essence, does the introverted intellectual getting the hot girl (similar to John Nash attracting girls in A Beautiful Mind but driving them away because of his ineptness) seem optimistically unrealistic?

I don't know if you were arrogant in the sense that you assumed the girl was interested in you when she could be friendly and nice, but this..

...doesn't make me think you're a particularly humble person.

I'm also not sure if a movie is a good idea for a first date with someone you barely know. You don't really get to talk to each other, and I don't think I would be comfortable enough to whisper snarky comments about the movie to someone I don't know much about.