Do you miss someone right now?

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I don't have anyone I miss who's recently died...well, that's kind of a lie. My cousin died of lung cancer some five years ago exactly, and in the morning, when I woke up to go to school, there was a beautiful orange cloud cluster all over the sky, casting a glow all over the house and the yard. A few minutes later, it disappeared, and I don't think anyone else in my family saw it except for me.

I also miss my kind-of-boyfriend. We met online, and I know that Aspie women tend to fall into these suspectable relationships, but we've disclosed so much information to each other, and I, being immensely paranoid, have googled him and contacted people who say they know him, etc, and we're both very real people with very real feelings for each other. Only problem is, he's ten hours away and his parents are paranoid. It's really frustrating when the one person you feel is your other half, the missing link into actually exposing, discovering, and maybe even admitting to your feelings can't be there, no matter how hard you try or how much you want it. Maybe, someday, by some amazing turn of events, he'll be there. And for now, that's all I can hope for.

J

I miss both of my grandfathers, who died within a few months of each other last year. My mother's father died from a combination of emphysema, a cardiac aneurysm, and years of smoking. My father's father died of pancreatic cancer just a few months after attending his funeral. Both of them were huge influences on my life, and I miss them both terribly.

I also - and this is the God's honest truth - miss both of my dogs. Anna died in 2002, and Daisy died earlier this year. They were a huge part of family life, and the house just seems so very empty without the two of them competing for attention all the time. It's the same now that my senile old cat Polly has died - she was a bit of a bully sometimes, and always had to be top of the pile, but she could also be very sweet and affectionate (especially when food was involved).

I miss Rick, one of my best friends from school, who went to live in Indonesia with his wife Ita a few years after we'd both left high school and been to university. I feel horrible because a few days before he went back to his home there, I was informed, too late, that he'd left a message for me on the answerphone... and then the Boxing Day tsunami happened, and I haven't heard from him since then.

And right now, I miss Stephanie, one of my closest friends. She's not my girlfriend, despite how much I would like her to be - primarily because she apparently would like a girlfriend of her own - but we've really only got to see each other in the flesh twice in the past two years, at a comic convention in Bristol and an Alice In Chains concert in London. Both times I've felt more comfortable than I've felt with anybody else... and not having her close enough to talk to face to face is really eating at me.

I miss my mom who passed away in may of cancer

I miss my old friend Catherine. She got put away.

My friends from highschool. I've moved away since then and the relationships are slowly dying.

I miss the way my friend looked at me last week. I had a meltdown last night and he's never seen that before. Now I know when he looks at me, he sees me different and I don't think it's in a good way.

Try to explain. It won't be easy but he might be able to understand.

At least it will give him some insight, that's a start. The way I see it, it has 3 steps: tolerence, understanding, acceptance. We all need acceptance.

Yeah, Mikka, you have to explain it to some extent. NT people don't do what we do. They yell at complete strangers in traffic, or drink themselves insensible, or abuse animals or whatever dreadful behavior... Start by telling him something about how you get overwhelmed by too much interaction with people, or whatever caused your meltdown.

There are two updates to the change in the friendship -

1) I found out he was diagnosed with AS two years ago - so thumbs up that he knows what it's like to feel a meltdown and why they happen

2) He's not upset or confused by why I had the meltdown, but I feel weird around him because I did let him see it. Sigh... the problem is with me being too sensitive, once again.

I miss my boyfriend.

Honestly? No. I'm rather glad that I got out the four or five past relationships I was in. I felt like I was being used and manipulated by these women who obviously had sex on the brain or were bigger emotional messes than I was. When your last relationship ends because your ex dumps you for a 15-year old girl, it can leave you bitter and thinking. Hard. Since then, my trust in others, especially in the opposite sex, has been severely hindered, though it's getting better now. I've committed myself to marrying ONLY virgins, like myself, with no compromise on that. No ifs, ands, or buts.

Those women that were in my life have made my life a living Hell I'm still trying to get out of two years later. I sure as Hell don't miss them after the way they screwed with me. I've had to become more morally strict because of them, which is both a blessing and a cure in and of itself. A blessing because I'm saving myself from a life of further anguish that would eventually be the death of me. A curse because I believe virgins are a rare thing in this day in age, and I feel like my chances for meeting one, considering that I have Asperger's, are pretty much nil.

Like I said, I'm getting better, and getting over the bitterness and hate I have over this. However, I don't miss them one bit, and it's left my outlook on relationships grim and bleak.

I miss the girl I terrified with my lack of control.

I hurt her.

I will miss her for a while yet.

At least now I'm alone again and can work on sound. Possibly.