question probably for nt girls

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Hi. I used to be confident and popular but I've spent a while crazy and losing my looks. There was a girl a year ago, we charmed each other but never made a proper connection because of dodgy vibes at work. When I left she wanted to know me but for whatever reason we kept dancing around each other and eventually I effectively just disappeared. I don't understand time (or space). Is there a plausible scenario where it makes sense for me to call her and see if she wants to go out for a drink? She was kind of unusual. Very smart and good at reading how people felt about themselves (rather than believing gossip), which is why she liked me when I was confident. I suspect if I could magic up some confidence that would carry it, but maybe there are more general rules about ignoring someone for a year. Help please.

say youve had a dodgy year but have been thinking about her recently and are sorry for what happened- then ask if she'd like to go for a drink to catch up? or if things were a bit more casual between you maybe just dive straight in and ask for the catch-up drink. she might be pissed or not interested anymore, or she might think it's nice to hear from you... worth a try?

I'm not sure admitting weakness would be good. She's attracted to confidence. I've come up with a story about travelling and getting into adventures that also explains why I kept avoiding her. If I can still manage my cheeky smile then the truth doesn't matter so much. This is the problem as I see it - the amount of confidence I'll need to carry off is more than I might manage with my face all old looking.

I also worry she might use ideas about acquaintances/friends/men that means she won't have an applicable context. Are you an NT girl? Could sufficient confidence win any situation? I've been obsessing for a year, which won't help the relaxed vibe I'm aiming for. I suspect I'll need a massive confidence trick but can't be sure.

Since you say she's able to read people, she might see through your story or sense that something's off. Perhaps there's a way of being honest without divulging all details. All she really needs to know is that you've thought of her and would like to meet. That's confident behavior in itself.

I like OneStep's advice.

When we first met I impressed her with boastful tales that happened to be true, which she enjoyed disbelieving. Great banter. But you're probably right, at this stage perhaps if I can't manage full confidence I shouldn't fake it. Mm. Thanks.

I don't advise lying.

You could maybe say that you were thinking about how long it's been since you last saw her and that you regret not keeping in touch. Ask if she wants to go for a drink and catch up.

Don't over complicate things with fancy lies and excuses. There's no point. Lying makes a person look weak in my eyes anyway. If she wants to see you again she'll say yes.