I uh, I'm pretty choked today (a rant)

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See I just don't understand attraction and dating for most people. When I'm interested in someone, I tell them. When I say: ya know, I feel a real connection with you...I mean it. Just a short while ago I met a guy on an online dating site. We decided to meet up. He was really great and we hit it off -to my thinking- right away. We went out one more time and even ended up *blushes* being a bit more naughty in our interactions. Okay, yes, we had sex. Yet...the guy said he was really into me, he looked forward to seeing me more and that he felt very strongly about me despite the fact that we'd just met. I agreed...and meant it.

What I don't get is...then he never tried to contact me again...ever. I tried calling or texting him several times that next week...and he only returned a text once...with a three word reply.

I don't get it! Are there some social subtleties I just don't get. Why would someone say things like: I know we just met but I feel a really deep connection to you....and then turn around, wanting nothing to do with you?

Are most people just.... insincere and dishonest? And how does one figure these things out!?

Your a nice looking guy, you just have to keep scouting out potential partners and don't be so hard on yourself.

Why am I just a nice looking guy.

Why can't I be hot? I cut my hair, I bought new clothes, I work out. Why can't I be hot? Why? Why am I always just cute? or nice? or handsome?

Every single day I see the weirdest looking people together. I think "Why, why why why why why is he with her? Why can't I find someone? That guy doesn't even look like he showers."

You would just assume that after a while someone to your liking, would just approach you. But they don't. And I'm shocked. Like why is it that I can go to the grocery store every other day, spend about an half an hour there, and nobody says a word to me? Or go to the art gallery and walk around for an hour and nobody will approach me. I mean, it's hard enough to do it myself after so much rejection - so I tried playing the waiting game. Because people tell me I'm looking too hard. I'm really not. I'm just looking for a companion. It doesn't have to be long term right now, I'm young. Just someone I like yknow?

When I was really skinny at first, and had no muscle whatsoever, people would say "Oh you just have to bulk up man" and now that I've began bulking up I still see really skinny guys with girls. So it's obviously nothing to do with physical appearance. I'm boggled.

Am I a nerd? I see myself as a dignified and smart, and cool individual. Why doesn't that show through? Why can't people see the real me?

It's the same stupid dudes who go out drinking at the Blackdog who get all the girls it seems. (That's a local pub) Nothing has changed since high school for me. It's all the popular guys who still get it all. Like this guy Mike I know.

Mike is this dweeb, who lives at home with his parents, has no job, his parents pay for his car - give him money. He owns an expensive camera and in turn girls flock to him.

maybe your focus is too much on outward appearances. you look how you look. if you are not happy about how you look, people will be able to sense that, so it's better to try to be satisfied with how you are.

i think you are missing an important point in your rant about why people choose each other. how they look is much less important than the connection they make with each other and the quality of their inner selves.

strangers rarely approach each other to date, especially in edmonton. we are in a relatively unfriendly city with little trust, which i believe to be caused by the transient blue collar population and high rates of violent crime. it's really not a good method of meeting people here. people don't even usually talk on the bus or in the library. i've lived elsewhere and in my opinion people are very cold and distant here.