Got a dilemma, and it sucks big time.

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This is kind of funny, considering i almost never take help from others.
But this time i'm willing to, and i want to hear of other peoples opinion.

Now i guess i should explain the case first.

My girlfriend and i have been together for a bit more than 3 months now.
She is still friends with her ex, infact, most of her friends are friends with him too.
She lives with 2 other friends, a guy and a girl.
And her ex keeps visiting the house.
Before they broke up they had been together for 1 year and 6 months.

My girlfriend said, or rather her roomie said it took her a long time to get over him.
And yesterday my girlfriend didn't feel well, because her ex was visiting, but he was with her female roomie, and she felt like she was a 3rd wheel, and said that she got jealouse at the thought of him being with someone else.
I don't know if she expressed herself wrong and meant that she didn't like him being with her roomie, cause i can understand, that that would be weird.
But to say that she is JEALOUSE of the thought him being with someone else? = /
She says it's "not like that" and that she's over him, and if she wasn't she wouldn't have gotten into a relationship with me, and on top of that he still owes her around 800$
And i've heard he hasn't been that nice to her now and then in their relationship.

But it's still messing with my head.
How can she love me and be in a relationship with me, but get jealouse over him being with someone else?

I talked with her, and i want to believe her, but i just can't shake the feeling. Whenever i think of her talking to him, or if they do something random ( like if we're several people and she goes with him to buy food to everyone) that she's doing it to be with him.
I feel like i'm...i dunno, just someone she got together with so she can forget her ex or someone to make the time pass with or something, which she says isn't the case.

It's really eating away at me, and i don't want to talk to much more about this with her cause i don't want to create problems that could ruin our relationship.

Is that behavior normal for girls?
One of my friends said it's actually a normal thing, but it'adfljk'sdfp urgh D=
I'm trying to tell myself it's a lot more complex than it seems and sometimes rational thinking can't help, but on the otherhand it also feels like i'm trying to lie to myself so i can trust her and not worry. I mean, in my eyes, fact is, if she can get jealouse over the thought of him being with someone else, it meanms she has some sort of feelings for her.

^ Or maybe not, jealousy in women is something hardly to be understood.

I say that Tias should try it to the end and see how things would turn out.

I'd like to think a woman who's really into you and respects you wouldn't care that some ex of hers is now with another girl because ... she's with you and she loves you.

Also, I've noticed from your posts, you tend to give women who do these things the benefit of the doubt. I personally can't respect women like that.

Well, humans are not completely monogamous by nature, she might still have something for her ex (and hence feeling jealous if he's sleeping with a girl in the next room) , yet still love Tias. She might even loves Tias far more than her ex.

Of course I am gonna give her the benefit of doubt, because we don't know her well and Tias certainly knows her better than us.

Except that when one has chosen to be in a monogamous relationship with girl, the implied agreement is that the sexual/romantic relationship occurs only between the two..

Yes, you're right he knows her more than we do. But that's why I have to read his own post in order to understand what he says/implies she's like. And I agree with what he feels. Because actions often speak louder than words.

And really, a girl I'm supposedly in a relationship with who comes to me and tells me she's jealous that her ex now has a new gf isn't going to make me think well of her. I mean, at least keep the feeling to yourself and don't let it manifest in any way. If you can't help how you feel, fine. At least be respectful of your partner and don't cause the partner this unneeded distress.

People with empathy (including Aspies) should naturally understand this. Those who don't aren't going to respect you anyway - so they're going to be trouble in the long run

I'd like to think a woman who's really into you and respects you wouldn't care that some ex of hers is now with another girl because ... she's with you and she loves you.

Also, I've noticed from your posts, you tend to give women who do these things the benefit of the doubt. I personally can't respect women like that.

Except that when one has chosen to be in a monogamous relationship with girl, the implied agreement is that the sexual/romantic relationship occurs only between the two.

Yes, you're right he knows her more than we do. But that's why I have to read his own post in order to understand what he says/implies she's like. And I agree with what he feels. Because actions often speak louder than words.

And really, a girl I'm supposedly in a relationship with who comes to me and tells me she's jealous that her ex now has a new gf isn't going to make me think well of her. I mean, at least keep the feeling to yourself and don't let it manifest in any way. If you can't help how you feel, fine. At least be respectful of your partner and don't cause the partner this unneeded distress.

People with empathy (including Aspies) should naturally understand this. Those who don't aren't going to respect you anyway - so they're going to be trouble in the long run.

The culturally-implied everlasting monogamy wouldn't turn humans into feeling-wise monogamous creatures.

Look, I think you're assigning a character flaw to something that is actually a normal human process: emotional healing. There are Aspies and NTs who are able to sever all emotional links to a partner when they make the decision to leave a relationship. The ability to emotionally detach in that way seems to be more prevalent among Aspies - although that statement is based on my own personal observations.

Whenever i think of her talking to him, or if they do something random ( like if we're several people and she goes with him to buy food to everyone) that she's doing it to be with him.

I think it's too bad that you wouldn't think well of a woman who admitted these difficult feelings to you. Honest communication - even when the communication is about difficult feelings - is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship.